Sunday, August 13, 2017

Are you looking for the GOLD or the GARBAGE in others?




We are all doing the BEST that we CAN. Are we looking for the GARBAGE or the GOLD in others or ourself???????

Okay, I know Taylor is the one who just had the baby... Sweet Cannon Brooks Card. I have struggled for the past few WEEKS with some things that I am going to share. It's like POST feelings/ emotional/ and no I did not just have a baby... but I do have the sweetest grandson CANNON that I am missing right now. This baby boy is my GOLD. I will post all about his birth in my next blog post.


I live 20 minutes away from them and yes, I would just hold him 24/7 if I could. It's amazing how much love you can possess for your grandchildren. Okay... so here is some of my thoughts and I hope someone else can benefit from some of my REALity and feelings.

I have struggled with things that I never struggled with. I have experienced things that I did not think I would. I have felt really broken in some areas of my life. I have failed at a lot of things that I used to EXCEL at. I have also been GREAT at things lately that I really struggled with in the past. So I felt this feeling for some time. I saw a lot of people I know and love SUFFER too. They felt their GOOD was just not good enough.

Are there things weighing on your heart and in your mind? I know for me I have to say YES. The past two days Brian and I decided to "Get AWAY" and we did the Parade of Homes in Utah. We went to about 18 houses and we drove from house to house and talked for countless hours. We ended the days with late dinners for the end of our date day/nights. It was just US and we talked about things and shared things with each other. It was our TRUTHS and we are two broken/wounded people who got married and had to work on figuring out the new US. So many people look at other couples or other people and automatically make assumptions.

If you are still reading this... WOW... I will be posting this on my blog because I felt so prompted to SHARE the REALity today. I will have a hard time pressing this POST button. First, we just don't KNOW each others journey and WE share so little of our TRUTH. I am all for keeping your private private... and yet because we do, often others SEE us or our life, our situation, our marriages, our jobs, our children, etc. maybe differently.

Brian and I have struggled with our new blended relationship. It has not been easy and I realized so many people that I am close to and know and love would say things like I thought you two have the PERFECT marriage. Wow, is this even possible?
 
 

I mean, I am a hot mess at times. I have weaknesses and faults like everyone else and so does Brian. Oh no.... don't tell him I said this. ha! However, this is so much more than our marriage or our journey. I talk to thousands of women a year in my travels. events and speaking appearances. I realized that I can and be loved and LOVE others and myself by just realizing we are ALL doing the BEST that we can. It's when we STOP trying when we have a problem.

I stop myself all the time and remind myself that I am only HUMAN. We all are and we have issues. We can face them and work on them or we can be filled with depression and judgment for US and others.

I never thought about the issues Brian Webber and I would each would bring and have in a new marriage. There has been times when I thought I was too broken and everything was my fault. Then I thought the same of him. I realized I blamed and was upset over the constant toxic chaos that started at the beginning from an outside source. I have seen some of "OUR" children hurt because of this and blending US became very hard. I would say to myself... I did not ask for this.

I realized we had to have a solid US. We were focused on THEM and we had to go back to us. We had to focus on the miracle and how much we love each other and how much we believe we were meant to be together.

I just wanted peace and wanted to feel safe. I did not imagine how much craziness could come into my life unwillingly. Well we have options- we can face the HARD or we can GIVE up. We can allow or not allow the patterns to continue. So this article is one that SPOKE to me so much and I knew I had to share it. I could have written it. I realized I will be looking more for the GOLD instead of the GARBAGE in my imperfect marriage and world.

I’m sometimes amazed and embarrassed by how critical I can be — both of other people and of myself. Even though I both teach and practice the power of appreciation (as well as acceptance, compassion and more) when I find myself feeling scared, threatened or insecure (which happens more often than I’d like it to), I notice that I can be quite judgmental. Sadly, as I’ve learned throughout my life, being critical and judgmental never works, feels good or leads me to what I truly want in my relationships and in my life. 
 
Can you relate to this?

I’ve recently been challenged by a few situations and relationships that have triggered an intense critical response — both toward myself and some of the people around me. As I’ve been noticing this, working through it and looking for alternative ways to respond, I’m reminded of something I heard Louise Hay say a number of years ago. She said, “It’s important to remember that people are always doing the best they can, including you.”

The power of this statement resonated with me deeply when I heard it and continues to have an impact on me to this day. And although I sometimes forget this, when I do remember that we’re all doing the best we can given whatever tools and resources we have, and the circumstances and situations we’re experiencing, it usually calms me down and creates a sense of empathy and compassion for the people I’m dealing with and for myself.

Unfortunately, we tend to take things personally that aren’t, look for what’s wrong, and critically judge the people around us and ourselves, instead of bringing a sense of love, understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and appreciation to the most important (and often most challenging) situations and relationships in our lives.

When we take a step back and remember that most of the time people aren’t “out to get us,” purposefully doing things to upset or annoy us, or consciously trying to make mistakes, disappoint us or create difficulty (they’re most likely just doing the best they can and doing what they think makes the most sense) — we can save ourselves from unnecessary overreactions and stress. And when we’re able to have this same awareness and compassion in how we relate to ourselves, we can dramatically alter our lives and relationships in a positive way.

Here are some things you can do and remember in this regard:

1.) Give people the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, people have good intentions. Many of us, myself included, have been trained to be cautious and suspicious of others, even seeing this as an important and effective skill in life and business. However, we almost always get what we expect from people, so the more often we give people the benefit of the doubt, the more often they will prove us “right,” and the less often we will waste our precious time and energy on being cynical, suspicious and judgmental.

2. Don’t take things personally. One of my favorite sayings is, “You wouldn’t worry about what other people think about you so much if you realized how little they actually did.” The truth is that most people are focused on themselves much more than on us. Too often in life we take things personally that have nothing to do with us. This doesn’t mean we let people walk all over us or treat us in disrespectful or hurtful ways. (It can be important for us to speak up and push back at times in life.) However, when we stop taking things so personally, we liberate ourselves from needless worry, defensiveness and conflict.

3.) Look for the good. Another way to say what I mentioned above about getting what we expect from other people, is that we almost always find what we look for. If you want to find some things about me that you don’t like, consider obnoxious or get on your nerves — just look for them, I’m sure you’ll come up with some. On the flip side, if you want to find some of my best qualities and things you appreciate about me, just look for those — they are there too. As Werner Erhard said, “In every human being there is both garbage and gold, it’s up to us to choose what we pay attention to.” Looking for the good in others (as well as in life and in ourselves), is one of the best ways to find things to appreciate and be grateful for and we remember that not everything is about us all the time.

4.) Seek first to understand. Often when we’re frustrated, annoyed or in a conflict with another person (or group of people), we don’t feel seen, heard or understood. As challenging and painful as this can be, one of the best things we can do is to shift our attention from trying to get other people to understand us (or being irritated that it seems like they don’t), is to seek to understand the other person (or people) involved in an authentic way. This can be difficult, especially when the situation or conflict is very personal and emotional to us, however it is one of the best ways for us to liberate ourselves from the grip of criticism and judgment, and often helps shift the dynamic of the entire thing. Being curious, understanding and even empathetic of another person and their perspective or feelings doesn’t mean being in agreement with them, it simply allows us to get into their world and see where they’re coming from — which is essential to letting go of judgment, connecting with them and ultimately resolving the conflict.

5.) Be gentle with others (and especially with yourself). Being gentle is the opposite of being critical. When we’re gentle we’re compassionate, kind and loving. We may not like, agree with or totally understand what someone has done (or why), but we can be gentle in how we approach it, talk about it and engage with them. Being gentle isn’t about condoning or appeasing anyone or anything, it’s about having a true sense of empathy and perspective. And, the most important place for us to bring a sense of gentleness is to ourselves. Many of us have a tendency to be super judgmental of ourselves. Sadly, some of the harshest criticism we dole out in life is aimed right at us. Another great saying I love is, “We don’t see people as they are, we see them as we are.” As we alter how we relate to ourselves, how we relate to everyone else and to the world around us is altered in a fundamental way.

As the Dalai Lama so brilliantly says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Everyone around us — our friends, co-workers, significant other, family members, children, service people, clients and even the people we don’t know or care for — is doing the best they can, given the resources they have. When we remember this and come from a truly compassionate perspective (with others and with ourselves), we’re able to tap into a deeper level of peace, appreciation and fulfillment.-
 
written by: MIKE ROBBINS


Friday, July 7, 2017

WEIGHT update.... it's been 7 MONTHS


(*I did it I hiked up that big mountain in Mexico with my husband, McKay and Mauro. April 2017)

I have thought about sharing this post for MONTHS now. I am going to share the vulnerable REALITY of me today. My REAL feelings and my personal struggles. I know many of you will want to know my "secret." I have daily messages asking me for WHAT I am doing to lose weight. I hope you will read one of my previous blog posts on what I am doing (Medi-Weight Loss program) and know that I am STILL doing the exact same thing as before. It was and is so much more than a diet for me. 

So let's start with my update- 
today is Friday July 7th 2017. Today I went to my weekly appointment. As of today....  I have lost 68.8 lbs. 

I am not going to lie. I have been silent about something that has been exceedingly hard for me. I was eating in many ways to feel numb to these ongoing feelings. I was really struggling with something that many WIDOWS face. I was feeling EXTREME guilt for being alive. I felt guilt for finding LOVE again. I was feeling GUILT for living life after Tyler died. I felt guilt for marrying Brian and being so happy. I tried to hide it.  I tried to hide it even from myself. My heart was so torn. How can you be HAPPY again after you lose someone you love and who your were completely devoted to for nineteen years? 




I was happy and thankful but in my mind, I would think about Tyler and just feel guilt. I would go to the grave and just pour my heart out. I really struggled with it. At times, I allowed it to cause so much anxiety in my heart and I finally realized I had not properly dealt with my feelings and loss. I decided to be honest with why I was gaining weight so fast and WHY I was sabotaging my health. 



I am so thankful I could talk to my kids about it and I also shared with Brian how I felt. I love that Brian understands that my journey is so different from his divorce. I have learned that grieving is ongoing and it does not end. I believe mourning is truly a necessity in the grieving process. It lasts much longer to some people and I believe it is something I will continue to experience for both Tyler and my mother.  Everything that Tyler should be at reminds me of our loss and it hurts. Zach's mission to Brazil, Tyler's graduation, McKay's wedding, the grandchildren being born... as life continues you are reminded of those that are not here anymore to witness these precious family moments. 

Right after someone you love dies, often so many people are mourning with you. They can feel and see your pain. However life goes on for everyone around you and soon you are the one that is left to NEVER be the same. You remember every single day of your loss and how life is never the same again. You face the ongoing feelings, the sad times, the grieving and the loss. 

So for me, counseling was needed. It was TRULY something I had to do for myself and for my family. I still have many of the same emotions. I honestly think maybe it is meant to be this way. I am talking and sharing with a professional and allowing myself to be okay with WHAT and WHEN I feel it.

 I have lost weight as a direct consequence by loving myself enough to take care of my mental and physical self. I was never depressed or hated myself for gaining weight. I am confident in who I am at whatever weight I am at. I believe so strongly in not body shaming or hating our body EVER. What a miracle our beautiful bodies are. Some of have MORE curves or weight and that certainly does not make us any LESS. My weekly meetings have been the BEST thing ever for me. First, I am accountable for my choices and I see that every week when I weigh in. Thankfully, my favorite foods are salads, and fruit. I also love to eat grilled protein and I don't LOVE processed food or bread. Crazy right... I know!
My biggest weakness is ICE CREAM.

As I have FOCUSED on getting healthy, I was asked over and over again by my dietician what my goal weight was. It took me 7 months to realize that I couldn't  focus on a NUMBER. The number is so not IMPORTANT. It is HOW you feel. I just wanted to feel like ME again. I wanted to feel healthy and whole and at peace. It was a journey of self love and self acceptance. I have never experienced anything like this before. I would be like most people and go on a diet for the whole purpose to see a certain number on a scale. I would feel deprived and want it to be over with. I would focus on the 15 or so lbs I was DETERMINED to loss. It was not like this at all this time. I decided to make it a lifestyle change and focus on WHY I had gained the weight so fast and help heal myself of things that were WEIGHING on me. 


I knew it was going to a long process.
Brian and I were facing some ongoing things together that put a tremendous amount of stress in our life and family.
I knew I had the POWER to not allow this to derail me on my journey. I have been so FOCUSED on loving myself enough to be a healthier me. I was having so many medical issues that scared me.
I still don't have any end date in mind because I don't see myself on a diet. I see this as a health journey that is going to continue. I guarantee I will eat ice cream at some point again. I don't believe in starving yourself or deprivation. I know that it's moderation and eating healthy 80% of the time for me. I consider what I've done as a DIET of Self LOVE. I love myself enough to take care of myself both mentally and physically. 

So my friends that is my SECRET...
it's me LOVING myself in every way possible EACH and EVERY day. I have earned every stretch mark on my imperfect body and I loved my body in January and I love it NOW in July. I simply knew my body was SCREAMING for attention. I had to take care of it better. 
I hear all the time. YOU have WILLPOWER. I can't do it like you have. I believe we all reach a point where it just CLICKS for us. I was at the point of realization and wanted to HIKE that mountain in Mexico. I wanted to exercise again without feeling like I was dying. I wanted to see my grand babies grow up. I didn't want my body to hinder me from being ACTIVE and fit. I know my health scare WOKE me up! 

Guess what? It's never easy to make changes and it's my responsibility to take care of me. No one else can do it. I had to decide what I really wanted MORE. Did I want to make changes? 
I did and I knew it was my TIME to FOCUS on being the best me... not the perfect or obsessed with being a size TINY me....
I promise if you change your OUTLOOK and see it 
as LOVING yourself it is so very different than a diet. Today I was told I now have VERY low blood pressure. Yes, that is what I normally am so it's so great to see how I had high blood pressure and now it's back to low blood pressure. 

TIPS TO SUCCESS
from my personal experience:

1. Drink water every single day- no excuses for not drinking 1/2 of your body weight each and every day. I drink between 120-140 oz every single day. I have not missed one day of my water goal since January. Smart Water is my favorite and I will add grape propel at times to give it a yummy flavor. *drink water before eating every single day.
I can truly say that I have learned that I used to think I was so hungry but in fact I was thirsty. I now love WATER and I was drinking NO WATER before I started in January.

2. WEIGH YOURSELF- face the reality of your efforts. I am not obsessed at all with the scale. It just is a tool to track progress but I love seeing how my better choices have helped me to lose weight. I weigh myself every single morning because for me it makes me see how AWESOME my body is responding to LOVING it with good food, water and exercise. Our bodies are truly miracles. 

3. I don't count calories- I simply eat the same amount of protein every day (about 600-700 calories worth a day), fruit (this is my favorite treat ever!!!!), fats (avacado, nuts, oils, dressing, etc). and I change up what I am eating every day because that is the reality of LIFE. I found out what WORKS for me and that is what I am doing. In working with the dietician, I wanted to plan my food and meals 100% after the first month. I knew this way I knew how to eat healthy and in proper portions without being consumed with a list of exact food I had to eat. I eat out almost every day too. I simply alter everything and ask for it in a way that I can eat it. I had to learn to do this since I am always in meetings, rushing to get things designed or on the go. 

4. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY CRAVING-
I tell Brian almost every day that I am crazing something that I want to eat that day. Often it is steak or shrimp or something like that. I find that lean sirloin steak is something that fills me and gives my body what it craves. I also loved grilled chicken, cod and so I have my favorite foods on hand so I always have something to prepare. I do grocery pick ups so I can order online and pick up and avoid the grocery aisle impulse purchases. I love that my favorites are already there and I can't simply reorder my weekly items- fast and simple! 

I could share a lot more but this post has gotten long enough. Please know that I am NOT at all saying anyone needs to look a certain way, or weigh a certain weight. I am all for loving yourself RIGHT now... today. I believe we must follow our own path and do what we feel in our heart is best for us in our life. 
 

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Thursday, July 6, 2017

BE THE BEST YOU.... TEN THOUGHTS- I'm back blogging

I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged.

I just knew I had to take a social media break for ME. I have been working on my own personal progress since January. It was so much more than my health. It was both mental and physical and I really have missed sharing my journey. The past SEVEN months have changed me in so many ways and I realized so much about myself.

 I had to let some big things GO in my life. I have added things that brought me SHEER joy. I accepted some tough lessons and went through some tough trials that I had to learn from, accept and overcome. I had to accept that not every relationship in my life was authentic and was a two way relationship and stop and seek those that are. I have NEVER felt more happy or content. I have FOCUSED for the last seven months on finding ME again.

(Sunday at church after Edward's Baby Blessing)

 I am planning my next upcoming event in September and for the FIRST time ever- I am doing it with a new outlook. I used to be afraid to TRY certain things because I wanted everyone to LOVE everything. I would make decisions from FEAR instead of just following my HEART. This would drive my people pleasing personality crazy if I thought someone would not like something. I realized that I had to follow my INNER VOICE more and just ENJOY my event- all of it. So this year, I am hosting a creative weekend that has turned into a LUAU PINEAPPLE themed event and its going to be FUN FUN FUN!!!!! We are even going to dress up for the opening crop on Thursday and I have dancers coming to entertain us (Polynesian- Hawaiian). I could not be more excited to FOLLOW my passion and hold NOTHING back.

 I wanted to share that my youngest daughter
McKay got married April 20th.
I loved every moment watching her get married 
to Mauro in the Provo City LDS temple. It was such a special day and most beautiful reception. Then we went to Mexico for the second reception with his family and friends. I love Mexico and I love that I now have family
there too.

Mexico Temple Visitors Center May 2017
Brian, McKay and Mauro

My little girl is so happy and I could not be more blessed than
to be her mommy.
(reception: The White Shanty Provo Utah)

My handsome son- Baby Ty
graduated from Murray High School June 3rd 2017.
I adore him. I cried like a baby. My last and youngest child
is now headed for college. (McKay is finishing up her degree right now at Brigham Young University and now Tyler is starting college.  Zach is on his mission- he is soon hitting the ONE year mark and he is doing fabulous and loves Brazil so much. He will be going to BYU too when he returns next Summer from his mission.

He has lost quite a bit of weight since he arrived in Brazil.
He is so very happy and this makes me happy.

SO this weekend I am going to share a big UPDATE on my weight and health journey and some other things that have been on my mind. Plus, I soon will have two new grand babies. I want to share more. So that was just a little bit of what has been going on.
Last, I wanted to share this article that I read on Huffington Press by Anne Naylor. I found it insightful and so accurate. I hoped it would speak to YOU as it did me.
1. Know what you want
Maybe you have a talent you have longed to express and develop. If not, you probably know how you would like to be experiencing your life - perhaps with more happiness, better communications with the ones you love, greater fulfilment in your work.
Knowing is deeper and stronger than wishful thinking or hoping. It is a conviction so solid that you can base your life on it.
“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”
Benjamin Franklin
2. Engage with your intention
Daily nurture your vision - see, feel, hear how you will be experiencing the fulfillment of your the life you want, both inwardly and in the world. Use your imagination.
3. Practice your passion - take action
If you have a talent, keep working with it. If you would like to be happier, do things that make you happy. Better communications? Be willing to learn, practice, improve - and make mistakes from time to time. Your intention will speak volumes. Fulfillment? Adjust your attitude.
“Nothing will work unless you do.” 
Maya Angelou
4. Raise your energy - turn up the heat
Love yourself and be grateful for all you have in your life, right now. Pay attention to your blessings. Look up. Learn to forgive and laugh at the mistakes you make along the way. Each day, feel the enthusiasm for your vision, as if it has already happened. Stay open for the remarkable to take place. It will.
“There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, 
the other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Albert Einstein
5. Gather positive people around you
At the very least, spend time with people who are supportive and for you. Enrich yourself by getting to know others who are actively creating the best for themselves, and learn from them.
“If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. 
Life does give back in kind.” 

Norman Vincent Peale
6. Get rid of what is unnecessary
Clear the clutter! Live lean with only that which you need around you. The feeling of freedom you gain will liberate you closer to what you really want.
7. Organize yourself for success
Find ways of dealing with life’s necessities so that you are not distracted by them. Only agree to do what you will actually do. Learn to say no to what does not fit for you.
“If we did all the things we are capable of doing, 
we would literally astound ourselves.”

Thomas A Edison
8. Set no time limits
Learn to live in the present moment and respond to your intuitive guidance. There are times when to act; times when to hold. You will get to know which is which.
“We have time enough if we will but use it right.”
Johann Wolfgang von Geothe
9. Believe in yourself - believe in your vision
Feeling doubtful? In these challenging times, young children may teach us something. As adults, we can also be persistent in going for what we value.
10. Treasure yourself
Do the things that show you care for yourself: eat foods that serve your body; drink plenty of water; get enough sleep; exercise regularly; make time and space for fun; stay focused on your vision and intention. Taking care of your health is a wise investment of your time and attention.
“The diamond you are, you wear within you.  
You can call on its beauty and power when you want to stand forward and dazzle.”

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Wednesday, April 12, 2017

TODAY.... 8 days countdown


Oh my... finally home... unpacked and super busy. I am feeling overly productive given all my emotions. My baby girl McKay is getting married next week. Okay, she will always be the baby girl. My heart is full of emotion and I am crying like a baby over the little things.  I love you so much my little rat.

 I LOVE this song... TODAY by Brad Paisley. It speaks to me and it's about the ultimate thing we want MOST... LOVE. I play this song over and over and reflect on her getting married and marriage. I have been giving her advice from my heart from the time she was a baby. I know that I have tried to prepare her for this most important step in her life.




I would tell her about her worth and how she would grow up one day and my hope for her was to find REAL love. I know that love and marriage is hard and things can quickly change. It's a beautiful thing to find someone to spend spend FOREVER with. So often the seasons change and time goes by and it takes WORK to keep these sacred feeling and love ALIVE and ongoing. 

"Because the memory of a day like TODAY can get you through the rest of your life." -Brad Paisley



I am so proud of you, proud of your decisions, so thankful for Mauro. I adore him!
I am thankful Heavenly Father gave me YOU and now Mauro.


I have really thought a lot about the feelings of finding this love and how to keep it going. It takes work. It takes more than you... it takes BOTH of you. Relationships have to be two way in that you both have to want and work on it. It is so vital to communicate and share from the heart daily. I know for men it can be exhausting... as women we tend to over think, over process and get overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts. I think your spouse cannot possibly meet ALL of your needs. You have to LOVE yourself first. You do have to have a partner who loves you enough to "let you in their world" and is never afraid to tell you how much they need and love you. 

I have this personal thing I call CPR- communicate, pray together and respect.  It will help rescue a marriage during the times of trial. Marriage is allowing that one and only person in the world who you share yourself with in the most intimate way, both physically and mentally. I know that often marriages do not work because someone in the relationship does not or cannot give their spouse the things that is needed for the marriage to survive. 





Yesterday, I visited Taylor and Gentry and we sat around and talked about life, love and marriage. I listened to my sweet girls talking about their sweet husbands.  Gentry just moved into her new home and it's beautiful. I listened to my daughter Gentry talk about how Taylor showed her from painful divorce about the kind of person she wanted to marry.  She credits seeing Taylor's painful journey as a lesson to her about WHAT to look for in a husband. It was a talk we had never had before.  



Beckett, Cooper and Capri
at Gentry and Devan's new house.
They just moved in. Cooper is adjusting to his new room.
These monkeys like to jump on the bed.

It's okay to make mistakes- this is part of life- and NOW I know Taylor sees the bigger picture. She is happily married and has the most beautiful twins and is 21 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.  She had a ultrasound yesterday since she is higher risk with premature labor.




Yesterday, my girls gave me the biggest GIFT without ever realizing it. As we sat and talked as we often do, we started talking about parenting. We talked about how I raised them (I say I raised them Southern!!!!). There was rules, consequences and always the most important thing I was to do as a mom was to teach them values and for them to feel loved. I can honestly say that I have watched all my kids grow up and I am proud of them (mistakes and all). I am proud of their hearts and their desires to be good people. 

Gentry said some things to me that were so special and her thoughts of me as her mother that made me realize that I had "made" a impression on my children for life. I listened and just let it go straight to my heart. I could not ask for more. Even during my trials and mistakes I was still able to make a impact as a mother.  I am not sharing this to say... "oh, I am great" because honestly.......

I think as a mother I often wonder... 

Am I doing this right? Was I too hard? Did I show enough love? Was the consequence the right one when they needed to have one? Did I handle this right? Do they know my heart? Will they be blessed in life from having me as their mother?  Am I a good example?  Yes, poor kids...they were stuck with me. 

So when the BIG decisions come... like marriage. Will they make choices that will ADD happiness, peace and joy to them? I feel so much happiness in knowing McKay has found her LOVE. She is getting married in EIGHT days. Wow... count down 8 days!



WHITE DRESS 
by BEN RECTOR

We love this talented singer. If you don't know his music... go check it out! This song is all about marriage and love.
Happy Wednesday.
Be HAPPY...

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Sunday, April 2, 2017

GOING on the CRUISE... TODAY!!!!

So I have been in Florida for the past two days in Orlando. We used our flight miles (free Delta ticket) and it was crazy that at Spring Break to save money and be able to use our free flight we flew here. So we decided to go to the park. Here was a Facebook post.

"You guys today was so much fun! I'm so happy. I could have never walked the park and lasted 10 hours had I not decided to lose my STRESS and get healthier. I've lost 46 lbs as of this week. I made a decision that was so beyond a physical transformation. I decided to EAT better to truly live my life. Today in the park, I bought water bottles all day long. I drank over 100 oz. I had the perfect lunch at the park- grilled chicken breast and a garden salad. I gave Brian my fried wedges and corn. I put vinegar on my salad. It was yummy! I took a small sip of Brian's butter beer and felt like I won today. I was satisfied and didn't feel deprived. My treat was a container of the best pineapple ever. We had dinner at the park too at Bubba Gump. I had the appetizer of hot peel and eat shrimp. I devoured them! It can be done. It's a choice and I want to be healthy, strong and kick life's butt (in the best way possible). Also, I was soaked half the day from riding front row at Jurassic Park. Let's all LIVE our own life in the FRONT ROW. @teresacollinsdesigns #watchmedoit #happyme #weightloss #personaldevelopment #itcanbedone#46poundsdown @bwebb007 @ Universal Studios"



Since my cute husband is waiting for me to leave right now... we are driving to Ft. Lauderdale to board the ship. It's the Allure of the Seas with Royal Caribbean. I'm THRILLED for the group of people who are joining me (us) again for the TC Cruise. We have never done it in April. 

I have so many thoughts and plans and just wish I had more time to share. I have had so many things on my mind in my heart that I want to share. I am feeling so many blessings come to be. I have been patient in waiting for answers and I wanted to
share more of what has been happening.
It is my hope that we each see that we ALL have times
that we need answers and or help. Maybe it is guidance.
We can know that we will find our way. It may
take time and patience. Anyway,
It you want to join me at my next BIG events please 
contact Elsha for the TC SEPT VEGAS event. It's going to be EPIC and I have more to share on this event later.
Also, I'm headed to Australia again this year. I'm doing some amazing projects and Tracey and I will be sharing all the details soon... I can't wait!







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Thursday, March 23, 2017

TEN WEEKS- 41 lbs


Well, I am going to tell you that the past TEN weeks have been so much DETERMINATION and WORK. I wish I could say.. well this has been the easiest thing. It hasn't been! I prepare, prepare, prepare not to fail. I am basically eating CLEAN. Yes, I go to the Medi- Weightloss Office but they are just a tool. I don't eat prepackaged food. I do have a protein shake that I purchase from them (daily). I decided to relearn how to eat again. That sounds funny right? 

I am now going back to the way I used to eat. I have always been that girl who goes up and down a bit in weight. Nothing drastic and I always have "checked" myself. This time it was different. Maybe it is my age or just feeling like I'm not in my 20's anymore. My body needs me to take better care of it or I'm going to be in serious trouble. 

I feel 1,000% back to me again. My body is not aching and the numbers are amazing in only TEN weeks. I can honestly say I was scared about the numbness and the aches. I knew in our 40's you can have things FEEL different but I felt WAY OFF.

I want to share some TIPS that I do that I think have helped me. I am in no ways saying this is the right way. It was the right way for me. I lost 3 lbs this week for a total of 41 pounds. I go to the doctors office every Tuesday am for weigh in. Yes, I do weigh myself at home. I think for me it helps to keep me accountable.

I drink HOT water with an entire lemon squeezed in the water when I get up in the morning. I drink WATER throughout the day. I have zero soda or caffeine. Again, call me a diet mtn dew ADDICT. ha! I went cold turkey. Working out is important! I walk and dance for my exercise. Plus, I am just a very active person. I am always on the go and in meetings. Last night, I had a meeting with my guy in China and I had three babies chasing me around the house. HA! I was running from room to room to get them to let me talk to him. Thankfully the girls were here and saved me. I'm just BUSY and this helps me.

I allow myself ONE or TWO drinks that are my treat EVERY single day. These are flavored waters. Yes, I feel like I am cheating. I limit these and drink these after I have drank most of my plain water. I also love bottled water. My favorites are SMART WATER and FUJI. Brian and I go to movies every week. (We love the $5 Tuesday movies here!). I take my water in my bag so I never get tempted by the popcorn smell. Yes, I prepare. I always have water in my car, purse and refrigerator. 



EGGS- I eat so many eggs. Tip- make a batch of hardboiled eggs up and then for the week they are EASY access. I make a albacore tuna salad so fast! (lettuce, albacore tuna can, 2 claussen pickles, 2 whole eggs, sea salt, a little balsamic vinegar dressing.... yum) This is usually my lunch.  For breakfast I have SIX egg whites and a few cherry tomatoes. I get so SUPER FULL. 

TIP- if you are hungry eat something like a cucumber sliced, tomatoes, or celery. I am trying to look at food as beautiful energy for my body and busy life. Last Saturday night, I was hungry. I stop eating by 6 or 7 pm every night. This night, I was watching a Hallmark movie in bed and Brian was asleep. I listened to my body and knew I needed something small. I got up and cut up cucumbers and pickles (claussen) and it was the perfect solution. Try to eat earlier and then mentally be DONE eating for the day.

Okay here is the REAL tip. People see me and often this is what I hear. You want to lose MORE weight? You don't need to lose more weight? How much do you want to loss? Just eat this. So I have learned that I know my body and where I need to be. I go to meetings all the time. Everyone wants me to eat. Oh, you have to try this, etc. So my tip is to be firm. I say things like this. "I don't eat sugar anymore." "I'm so full, I couldn't eat it if I wanted it." "I ate before I came, but thank you." I know people can sabotage us by wanting us to join them. If you say, "Oh, that looks so good, I wish I could have it" - then expect them to keep telling you to have it. Don't give in. Be firm in what you want. 

Now the last is a big ONE. How many of you have STRESS? I would dare say we all do. Each of us have different types of stress. I am a over thinker. I think and prepare and this is how I run my life. I am learning that often feeling out of control can make our stress go crazy. When Brian left his law firm and started over, I remember thinking over and over how brave he was. Truthfully, I think I took his stress on me. It was scary and I supported him but I admit it was a big change. He had to face the reality of starting his own new firm, no income coming in and anyone knows what that means, and many bills and overhead to pay. We talked for a long time, months actually.  It was something we kept to ourselves to weigh all the options. We thought and both prayed for guidance. I told him I would support any decision that he made. Even though it no ones business, I never have supported him financially. Brian does not work for me. He helps me sometimes with little things but he is attorney and it is his full time career.  Brian knew it was going to be okay and had faith.  He works every day and many times into late at night to "start" over.  I had to stop worrying. I had to stop stressing over this and other issues that surround it. I knew he was already carrying it. So together we both are doing things to practice SELF- CARE. We decided together to be a team. STRESS can really hurt a marriage or it can bring you closer if you allow it.

That means... simple self-care practices that we all need for a healthy mind, body and soul. Do you need to go to the spa? Bora Bora? Not necessarily but it's Okay... we all need to SELF CARE and not just once. We need it continually. Especially when you are dealing with stress, life changes and weight loss. Some thoughts:

Self care isn't a ONE TIME deal. 
Go outside. Go cloud watching- lie on your back and relax.
Get in 15 minutes of sunshine. Go outside!
Goof around. Just take 5 minutes to do something "playful".
PRAY or do a mini meditation to be aware of your thoughts.
Inhale a upbeat smell.
Write out your thoughts. My B Journal is my constant companion.
Do one thing TODAY that makes you happy just because.
Do a mini declutter. (I promise this works!)
Take a bubble bath and treat yourself. 
Go help someone. 
UNPLUG for a hour. ( I try to go a few hours sometimes)
Edit your social media and mute people that are negative.
Get down and boogie (dance to your fave music).
TREAT yourself. A small affordable luxury is a pick me up.
Look in the mirror and say, I LOVE YOU right now.
Sing in the car.
Shave your legs girls. I personally LOVE the fresh feeling!
Be still. Sit somewhere GREEN and be quiet for a few minutes.
Have a good laugh.
HOME spa retreat. I love this relaxation method.
Watch a Hallmark movie. Of course, I added this!
Take a quick 10 minute nap. 

LITTLE and OFTEN is the way to WIN the day help with your own SELF CARE! You are worth it....


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Monday, March 20, 2017

AM I GRATEFUL ENOUGH????

Okay my friends. I just was reminded how much TODAY and everyday I take so many things for granted. I have emailed this morning with my son Zach who is serving a mission in Brazil. 








He wrote this POWERFUL message I want to share with you.

For me, I wake up everyday with gratitude and thankfulness and I realize that it's NOT enough. I need to be even more aware and thankful. Wow, am I grateful enough? NEVER. I never can be. I look at everything in my life and I feel so blessed. I realize I have WAY more than I deserve or need. I see this world in conflict. It is always... I have this car... but can't wait til I can buy THAT car. etc. I see it and know it's part of our society to always want what is NEW and better. Yes, but do we stop ever and say... I am HAPPY right now and only need what I have? I am guilty as everyone else. I know that material things are temporary and do NOT make us happy. 

I realize that HAPPINESS comes from within. We have everything we need. We should be more grateful to God for giving us so much. Food, home & shelter, and the blessings of family. So let me share this email and message he sent me. 

THIS one part of his MESSAGE will be a FOCUS for me:

"When god blesses us, we cannot stop saying thank you to him. "
Elder Zachary Collins

Well this week was blessed a lot and also had a lot of learning experiences. We baptized a girl who has been going to church for over 6 months and she cried as her good friend baptized her. it was super awesome. Also, everyone this week was talking about the missionary brawl in manaus hahaha, but we had a lot of difficulties this week with some of our best investigators. 
We also heard from some recent converts that they arent going to church because they dont have the money to get there. In fact their kids are starving cuz they dont have money...it honestly hit my heart hard...we truly need to be so much more grateful for our lives. its truly such a blessing to have a home, a family, a shower, a toilet, and food...because many people live in a one room shack, no shower, no toilet, and are unable to feed their children. 

When god blesses us, we cannot stop saying thank you to him. 

Seriously we have small reasons for sadness there in the states...because we are so blessed and if we arent grateful and charitable then truly we are nothing. Be grateful for what we have and never stop looking to help, serve, and donate to others. love you all.
Elder Collins.



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