Friday, July 7, 2017

WEIGHT update.... it's been 7 MONTHS

(*I did it I hiked up that big mountain in Mexico with my husband, McKay and Mauro. April 2017)

I have thought about sharing this post for MONTHS now. I am going to share the vulnerable REALITY of me today. My REAL feelings and my personal struggles. I know many of you will want to know my "secret." I have daily messages asking me for WHAT I am doing to lose weight. I hope you will read one of my previous blog posts on what I am doing (Medi-Weight Loss program) and know that I am STILL doing the exact same thing as before. It was and is so much more than a diet for me. 

So let's start with my update- 
today is Friday July 7th 2017. Today I went to my weekly appointment. As of today....  I have lost 68.8 lbs. 

I am not going to lie. I have been silent about something that has been exceedingly hard for me. I was eating in many ways to feel numb to these ongoing feelings. I was really struggling with something that many WIDOWS face. I was feeling EXTREME guilt for being alive. I felt guilt for finding LOVE again. I was feeling GUILT for living life after Tyler died. I felt guilt for marrying Brian and being so happy. I tried to hide it.  I tried to hide it even from myself. My heart was so torn. How can you be HAPPY again after you lose someone you love and who your were completely devoted to for nineteen years? 

I was happy and thankful but in my mind, I would think about Tyler and just feel guilt. I would go to the grave and just pour my heart out. I really struggled with it. At times, I allowed it to cause so much anxiety in my heart and I finally realized I had not properly dealt with my feelings and loss. I decided to be honest with why I was gaining weight so fast and WHY I was sabotaging my health. 

I am so thankful I could talk to my kids about it and I also shared with Brian how I felt. I love that Brian understands that my journey is so different from his divorce. I have learned that grieving is ongoing and it does not end. I believe mourning is truly a necessity in the grieving process. It lasts much longer to some people and I believe it is something I will continue to experience for both Tyler and my mother.  Everything that Tyler should be at reminds me of our loss and it hurts. Zach's mission to Brazil, Tyler's graduation, McKay's wedding, the grandchildren being born... as life continues you are reminded of those that are not here anymore to witness these precious family moments. 

Right after someone you love dies, often so many people are mourning with you. They can feel and see your pain. However life goes on for everyone around you and soon you are the one that is left to NEVER be the same. You remember every single day of your loss and how life is never the same again. You face the ongoing feelings, the sad times, the grieving and the loss. 

So for me, counseling was needed. It was TRULY something I had to do for myself and for my family. I still have many of the same emotions. I honestly think maybe it is meant to be this way. I am talking and sharing with a professional and allowing myself to be okay with WHAT and WHEN I feel it.

 I have lost weight as a direct consequence by loving myself enough to take care of my mental and physical self. I was never depressed or hated myself for gaining weight. I am confident in who I am at whatever weight I am at. I believe so strongly in not body shaming or hating our body EVER. What a miracle our beautiful bodies are. Some of have MORE curves or weight and that certainly does not make us any LESS. My weekly meetings have been the BEST thing ever for me. First, I am accountable for my choices and I see that every week when I weigh in. Thankfully, my favorite foods are salads, and fruit. I also love to eat grilled protein and I don't LOVE processed food or bread. Crazy right... I know!
My biggest weakness is ICE CREAM.

As I have FOCUSED on getting healthy, I was asked over and over again by my dietician what my goal weight was. It took me 7 months to realize that I couldn't  focus on a NUMBER. The number is so not IMPORTANT. It is HOW you feel. I just wanted to feel like ME again. I wanted to feel healthy and whole and at peace. It was a journey of self love and self acceptance. I have never experienced anything like this before. I would be like most people and go on a diet for the whole purpose to see a certain number on a scale. I would feel deprived and want it to be over with. I would focus on the 15 or so lbs I was DETERMINED to loss. It was not like this at all this time. I decided to make it a lifestyle change and focus on WHY I had gained the weight so fast and help heal myself of things that were WEIGHING on me. 

I knew it was going to a long process.
Brian and I were facing some ongoing things together that put a tremendous amount of stress in our life and family.
I knew I had the POWER to not allow this to derail me on my journey. I have been so FOCUSED on loving myself enough to be a healthier me. I was having so many medical issues that scared me.
I still don't have any end date in mind because I don't see myself on a diet. I see this as a health journey that is going to continue. I guarantee I will eat ice cream at some point again. I don't believe in starving yourself or deprivation. I know that it's moderation and eating healthy 80% of the time for me. I consider what I've done as a DIET of Self LOVE. I love myself enough to take care of myself both mentally and physically. 

So my friends that is my SECRET...
it's me LOVING myself in every way possible EACH and EVERY day. I have earned every stretch mark on my imperfect body and I loved my body in January and I love it NOW in July. I simply knew my body was SCREAMING for attention. I had to take care of it better. 
I hear all the time. YOU have WILLPOWER. I can't do it like you have. I believe we all reach a point where it just CLICKS for us. I was at the point of realization and wanted to HIKE that mountain in Mexico. I wanted to exercise again without feeling like I was dying. I wanted to see my grand babies grow up. I didn't want my body to hinder me from being ACTIVE and fit. I know my health scare WOKE me up! 

Guess what? It's never easy to make changes and it's my responsibility to take care of me. No one else can do it. I had to decide what I really wanted MORE. Did I want to make changes? 
I did and I knew it was my TIME to FOCUS on being the best me... not the perfect or obsessed with being a size TINY me....
I promise if you change your OUTLOOK and see it 
as LOVING yourself it is so very different than a diet. Today I was told I now have VERY low blood pressure. Yes, that is what I normally am so it's so great to see how I had high blood pressure and now it's back to low blood pressure. 

from my personal experience:

1. Drink water every single day- no excuses for not drinking 1/2 of your body weight each and every day. I drink between 120-140 oz every single day. I have not missed one day of my water goal since January. Smart Water is my favorite and I will add grape propel at times to give it a yummy flavor. *drink water before eating every single day.
I can truly say that I have learned that I used to think I was so hungry but in fact I was thirsty. I now love WATER and I was drinking NO WATER before I started in January.

2. WEIGH YOURSELF- face the reality of your efforts. I am not obsessed at all with the scale. It just is a tool to track progress but I love seeing how my better choices have helped me to lose weight. I weigh myself every single morning because for me it makes me see how AWESOME my body is responding to LOVING it with good food, water and exercise. Our bodies are truly miracles. 

3. I don't count calories- I simply eat the same amount of protein every day (about 600-700 calories worth a day), fruit (this is my favorite treat ever!!!!), fats (avacado, nuts, oils, dressing, etc). and I change up what I am eating every day because that is the reality of LIFE. I found out what WORKS for me and that is what I am doing. In working with the dietician, I wanted to plan my food and meals 100% after the first month. I knew this way I knew how to eat healthy and in proper portions without being consumed with a list of exact food I had to eat. I eat out almost every day too. I simply alter everything and ask for it in a way that I can eat it. I had to learn to do this since I am always in meetings, rushing to get things designed or on the go. 

I tell Brian almost every day that I am crazing something that I want to eat that day. Often it is steak or shrimp or something like that. I find that lean sirloin steak is something that fills me and gives my body what it craves. I also loved grilled chicken, cod and so I have my favorite foods on hand so I always have something to prepare. I do grocery pick ups so I can order online and pick up and avoid the grocery aisle impulse purchases. I love that my favorites are already there and I can't simply reorder my weekly items- fast and simple! 

I could share a lot more but this post has gotten long enough. Please know that I am NOT at all saying anyone needs to look a certain way, or weigh a certain weight. I am all for loving yourself RIGHT now... today. I believe we must follow our own path and do what we feel in our heart is best for us in our life. 

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Thursday, July 6, 2017

BE THE BEST YOU.... TEN THOUGHTS- I'm back blogging

I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged.

I just knew I had to take a social media break for ME. I have been working on my own personal progress since January. It was so much more than my health. It was both mental and physical and I really have missed sharing my journey. The past SEVEN months have changed me in so many ways and I realized so much about myself.

 I had to let some big things GO in my life. I have added things that brought me SHEER joy. I accepted some tough lessons and went through some tough trials that I had to learn from, accept and overcome. I had to accept that not every relationship in my life was authentic and was a two way relationship and stop and seek those that are. I have NEVER felt more happy or content. I have FOCUSED for the last seven months on finding ME again.

(Sunday at church after Edward's Baby Blessing)

 I am planning my next upcoming event in September and for the FIRST time ever- I am doing it with a new outlook. I used to be afraid to TRY certain things because I wanted everyone to LOVE everything. I would make decisions from FEAR instead of just following my HEART. This would drive my people pleasing personality crazy if I thought someone would not like something. I realized that I had to follow my INNER VOICE more and just ENJOY my event- all of it. So this year, I am hosting a creative weekend that has turned into a LUAU PINEAPPLE themed event and its going to be FUN FUN FUN!!!!! We are even going to dress up for the opening crop on Thursday and I have dancers coming to entertain us (Polynesian- Hawaiian). I could not be more excited to FOLLOW my passion and hold NOTHING back.

 I wanted to share that my youngest daughter
McKay got married April 20th.
I loved every moment watching her get married 
to Mauro in the Provo City LDS temple. It was such a special day and most beautiful reception. Then we went to Mexico for the second reception with his family and friends. I love Mexico and I love that I now have family
there too.

Mexico Temple Visitors Center May 2017
Brian, McKay and Mauro

My little girl is so happy and I could not be more blessed than
to be her mommy.
(reception: The White Shanty Provo Utah)

My handsome son- Baby Ty
graduated from Murray High School June 3rd 2017.
I adore him. I cried like a baby. My last and youngest child
is now headed for college. (McKay is finishing up her degree right now at Brigham Young University and now Tyler is starting college.  Zach is on his mission- he is soon hitting the ONE year mark and he is doing fabulous and loves Brazil so much. He will be going to BYU too when he returns next Summer from his mission.

He has lost quite a bit of weight since he arrived in Brazil.
He is so very happy and this makes me happy.

SO this weekend I am going to share a big UPDATE on my weight and health journey and some other things that have been on my mind. Plus, I soon will have two new grand babies. I want to share more. So that was just a little bit of what has been going on.
Last, I wanted to share this article that I read on Huffington Press by Anne Naylor. I found it insightful and so accurate. I hoped it would speak to YOU as it did me.
1. Know what you want
Maybe you have a talent you have longed to express and develop. If not, you probably know how you would like to be experiencing your life - perhaps with more happiness, better communications with the ones you love, greater fulfilment in your work.
Knowing is deeper and stronger than wishful thinking or hoping. It is a conviction so solid that you can base your life on it.
“There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”
Benjamin Franklin
2. Engage with your intention
Daily nurture your vision - see, feel, hear how you will be experiencing the fulfillment of your the life you want, both inwardly and in the world. Use your imagination.
3. Practice your passion - take action
If you have a talent, keep working with it. If you would like to be happier, do things that make you happy. Better communications? Be willing to learn, practice, improve - and make mistakes from time to time. Your intention will speak volumes. Fulfillment? Adjust your attitude.
“Nothing will work unless you do.” 
Maya Angelou
4. Raise your energy - turn up the heat
Love yourself and be grateful for all you have in your life, right now. Pay attention to your blessings. Look up. Learn to forgive and laugh at the mistakes you make along the way. Each day, feel the enthusiasm for your vision, as if it has already happened. Stay open for the remarkable to take place. It will.
“There are two ways to live your life - one is as though nothing is a miracle, 
the other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Albert Einstein
5. Gather positive people around you
At the very least, spend time with people who are supportive and for you. Enrich yourself by getting to know others who are actively creating the best for themselves, and learn from them.
“If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. 
Life does give back in kind.” 

Norman Vincent Peale
6. Get rid of what is unnecessary
Clear the clutter! Live lean with only that which you need around you. The feeling of freedom you gain will liberate you closer to what you really want.
7. Organize yourself for success
Find ways of dealing with life’s necessities so that you are not distracted by them. Only agree to do what you will actually do. Learn to say no to what does not fit for you.
“If we did all the things we are capable of doing, 
we would literally astound ourselves.”

Thomas A Edison
8. Set no time limits
Learn to live in the present moment and respond to your intuitive guidance. There are times when to act; times when to hold. You will get to know which is which.
“We have time enough if we will but use it right.”
Johann Wolfgang von Geothe
9. Believe in yourself - believe in your vision
Feeling doubtful? In these challenging times, young children may teach us something. As adults, we can also be persistent in going for what we value.
10. Treasure yourself
Do the things that show you care for yourself: eat foods that serve your body; drink plenty of water; get enough sleep; exercise regularly; make time and space for fun; stay focused on your vision and intention. Taking care of your health is a wise investment of your time and attention.
“The diamond you are, you wear within you.  
You can call on its beauty and power when you want to stand forward and dazzle.”

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Wednesday, April 12, 2017

TODAY.... 8 days countdown

Oh my... finally home... unpacked and super busy. I am feeling overly productive given all my emotions. My baby girl McKay is getting married next week. Okay, she will always be the baby girl. My heart is full of emotion and I am crying like a baby over the little things.  I love you so much my little rat.

 I LOVE this song... TODAY by Brad Paisley. It speaks to me and it's about the ultimate thing we want MOST... LOVE. I play this song over and over and reflect on her getting married and marriage. I have been giving her advice from my heart from the time she was a baby. I know that I have tried to prepare her for this most important step in her life.

I would tell her about her worth and how she would grow up one day and my hope for her was to find REAL love. I know that love and marriage is hard and things can quickly change. It's a beautiful thing to find someone to spend spend FOREVER with. So often the seasons change and time goes by and it takes WORK to keep these sacred feeling and love ALIVE and ongoing. 

"Because the memory of a day like TODAY can get you through the rest of your life." -Brad Paisley

I am so proud of you, proud of your decisions, so thankful for Mauro. I adore him!
I am thankful Heavenly Father gave me YOU and now Mauro.

I have really thought a lot about the feelings of finding this love and how to keep it going. It takes work. It takes more than you... it takes BOTH of you. Relationships have to be two way in that you both have to want and work on it. It is so vital to communicate and share from the heart daily. I know for men it can be exhausting... as women we tend to over think, over process and get overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts. I think your spouse cannot possibly meet ALL of your needs. You have to LOVE yourself first. You do have to have a partner who loves you enough to "let you in their world" and is never afraid to tell you how much they need and love you. 

I have this personal thing I call CPR- communicate, pray together and respect.  It will help rescue a marriage during the times of trial. Marriage is allowing that one and only person in the world who you share yourself with in the most intimate way, both physically and mentally. I know that often marriages do not work because someone in the relationship does not or cannot give their spouse the things that is needed for the marriage to survive. 

Yesterday, I visited Taylor and Gentry and we sat around and talked about life, love and marriage. I listened to my sweet girls talking about their sweet husbands.  Gentry just moved into her new home and it's beautiful. I listened to my daughter Gentry talk about how Taylor showed her from painful divorce about the kind of person she wanted to marry.  She credits seeing Taylor's painful journey as a lesson to her about WHAT to look for in a husband. It was a talk we had never had before.  

Beckett, Cooper and Capri
at Gentry and Devan's new house.
They just moved in. Cooper is adjusting to his new room.
These monkeys like to jump on the bed.

It's okay to make mistakes- this is part of life- and NOW I know Taylor sees the bigger picture. She is happily married and has the most beautiful twins and is 21 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.  She had a ultrasound yesterday since she is higher risk with premature labor.

Yesterday, my girls gave me the biggest GIFT without ever realizing it. As we sat and talked as we often do, we started talking about parenting. We talked about how I raised them (I say I raised them Southern!!!!). There was rules, consequences and always the most important thing I was to do as a mom was to teach them values and for them to feel loved. I can honestly say that I have watched all my kids grow up and I am proud of them (mistakes and all). I am proud of their hearts and their desires to be good people. 

Gentry said some things to me that were so special and her thoughts of me as her mother that made me realize that I had "made" a impression on my children for life. I listened and just let it go straight to my heart. I could not ask for more. Even during my trials and mistakes I was still able to make a impact as a mother.  I am not sharing this to say... "oh, I am great" because honestly.......

I think as a mother I often wonder... 

Am I doing this right? Was I too hard? Did I show enough love? Was the consequence the right one when they needed to have one? Did I handle this right? Do they know my heart? Will they be blessed in life from having me as their mother?  Am I a good example?  Yes, poor kids...they were stuck with me. 

So when the BIG decisions come... like marriage. Will they make choices that will ADD happiness, peace and joy to them? I feel so much happiness in knowing McKay has found her LOVE. She is getting married in EIGHT days. Wow... count down 8 days!


We love this talented singer. If you don't know his music... go check it out! This song is all about marriage and love.
Happy Wednesday.

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Sunday, April 2, 2017

GOING on the CRUISE... TODAY!!!!

So I have been in Florida for the past two days in Orlando. We used our flight miles (free Delta ticket) and it was crazy that at Spring Break to save money and be able to use our free flight we flew here. So we decided to go to the park. Here was a Facebook post.

"You guys today was so much fun! I'm so happy. I could have never walked the park and lasted 10 hours had I not decided to lose my STRESS and get healthier. I've lost 46 lbs as of this week. I made a decision that was so beyond a physical transformation. I decided to EAT better to truly live my life. Today in the park, I bought water bottles all day long. I drank over 100 oz. I had the perfect lunch at the park- grilled chicken breast and a garden salad. I gave Brian my fried wedges and corn. I put vinegar on my salad. It was yummy! I took a small sip of Brian's butter beer and felt like I won today. I was satisfied and didn't feel deprived. My treat was a container of the best pineapple ever. We had dinner at the park too at Bubba Gump. I had the appetizer of hot peel and eat shrimp. I devoured them! It can be done. It's a choice and I want to be healthy, strong and kick life's butt (in the best way possible). Also, I was soaked half the day from riding front row at Jurassic Park. Let's all LIVE our own life in the FRONT ROW. @teresacollinsdesigns #watchmedoit #happyme #weightloss #personaldevelopment #itcanbedone#46poundsdown @bwebb007 @ Universal Studios"

Since my cute husband is waiting for me to leave right now... we are driving to Ft. Lauderdale to board the ship. It's the Allure of the Seas with Royal Caribbean. I'm THRILLED for the group of people who are joining me (us) again for the TC Cruise. We have never done it in April. 

I have so many thoughts and plans and just wish I had more time to share. I have had so many things on my mind in my heart that I want to share. I am feeling so many blessings come to be. I have been patient in waiting for answers and I wanted to
share more of what has been happening.
It is my hope that we each see that we ALL have times
that we need answers and or help. Maybe it is guidance.
We can know that we will find our way. It may
take time and patience. Anyway,
It you want to join me at my next BIG events please 
contact Elsha for the TC SEPT VEGAS event. It's going to be EPIC and I have more to share on this event later.
Also, I'm headed to Australia again this year. I'm doing some amazing projects and Tracey and I will be sharing all the details soon... I can't wait!

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Thursday, March 23, 2017

TEN WEEKS- 41 lbs

Well, I am going to tell you that the past TEN weeks have been so much DETERMINATION and WORK. I wish I could say.. well this has been the easiest thing. It hasn't been! I prepare, prepare, prepare not to fail. I am basically eating CLEAN. Yes, I go to the Medi- Weightloss Office but they are just a tool. I don't eat prepackaged food. I do have a protein shake that I purchase from them (daily). I decided to relearn how to eat again. That sounds funny right? 

I am now going back to the way I used to eat. I have always been that girl who goes up and down a bit in weight. Nothing drastic and I always have "checked" myself. This time it was different. Maybe it is my age or just feeling like I'm not in my 20's anymore. My body needs me to take better care of it or I'm going to be in serious trouble. 

I feel 1,000% back to me again. My body is not aching and the numbers are amazing in only TEN weeks. I can honestly say I was scared about the numbness and the aches. I knew in our 40's you can have things FEEL different but I felt WAY OFF.

I want to share some TIPS that I do that I think have helped me. I am in no ways saying this is the right way. It was the right way for me. I lost 3 lbs this week for a total of 41 pounds. I go to the doctors office every Tuesday am for weigh in. Yes, I do weigh myself at home. I think for me it helps to keep me accountable.

I drink HOT water with an entire lemon squeezed in the water when I get up in the morning. I drink WATER throughout the day. I have zero soda or caffeine. Again, call me a diet mtn dew ADDICT. ha! I went cold turkey. Working out is important! I walk and dance for my exercise. Plus, I am just a very active person. I am always on the go and in meetings. Last night, I had a meeting with my guy in China and I had three babies chasing me around the house. HA! I was running from room to room to get them to let me talk to him. Thankfully the girls were here and saved me. I'm just BUSY and this helps me.

I allow myself ONE or TWO drinks that are my treat EVERY single day. These are flavored waters. Yes, I feel like I am cheating. I limit these and drink these after I have drank most of my plain water. I also love bottled water. My favorites are SMART WATER and FUJI. Brian and I go to movies every week. (We love the $5 Tuesday movies here!). I take my water in my bag so I never get tempted by the popcorn smell. Yes, I prepare. I always have water in my car, purse and refrigerator. 

EGGS- I eat so many eggs. Tip- make a batch of hardboiled eggs up and then for the week they are EASY access. I make a albacore tuna salad so fast! (lettuce, albacore tuna can, 2 claussen pickles, 2 whole eggs, sea salt, a little balsamic vinegar dressing.... yum) This is usually my lunch.  For breakfast I have SIX egg whites and a few cherry tomatoes. I get so SUPER FULL. 

TIP- if you are hungry eat something like a cucumber sliced, tomatoes, or celery. I am trying to look at food as beautiful energy for my body and busy life. Last Saturday night, I was hungry. I stop eating by 6 or 7 pm every night. This night, I was watching a Hallmark movie in bed and Brian was asleep. I listened to my body and knew I needed something small. I got up and cut up cucumbers and pickles (claussen) and it was the perfect solution. Try to eat earlier and then mentally be DONE eating for the day.

Okay here is the REAL tip. People see me and often this is what I hear. You want to lose MORE weight? You don't need to lose more weight? How much do you want to loss? Just eat this. So I have learned that I know my body and where I need to be. I go to meetings all the time. Everyone wants me to eat. Oh, you have to try this, etc. So my tip is to be firm. I say things like this. "I don't eat sugar anymore." "I'm so full, I couldn't eat it if I wanted it." "I ate before I came, but thank you." I know people can sabotage us by wanting us to join them. If you say, "Oh, that looks so good, I wish I could have it" - then expect them to keep telling you to have it. Don't give in. Be firm in what you want. 

Now the last is a big ONE. How many of you have STRESS? I would dare say we all do. Each of us have different types of stress. I am a over thinker. I think and prepare and this is how I run my life. I am learning that often feeling out of control can make our stress go crazy. When Brian left his law firm and started over, I remember thinking over and over how brave he was. Truthfully, I think I took his stress on me. It was scary and I supported him but I admit it was a big change. He had to face the reality of starting his own new firm, no income coming in and anyone knows what that means, and many bills and overhead to pay. We talked for a long time, months actually.  It was something we kept to ourselves to weigh all the options. We thought and both prayed for guidance. I told him I would support any decision that he made. Even though it no ones business, I never have supported him financially. Brian does not work for me. He helps me sometimes with little things but he is attorney and it is his full time career.  Brian knew it was going to be okay and had faith.  He works every day and many times into late at night to "start" over.  I had to stop worrying. I had to stop stressing over this and other issues that surround it. I knew he was already carrying it. So together we both are doing things to practice SELF- CARE. We decided together to be a team. STRESS can really hurt a marriage or it can bring you closer if you allow it.

That means... simple self-care practices that we all need for a healthy mind, body and soul. Do you need to go to the spa? Bora Bora? Not necessarily but it's Okay... we all need to SELF CARE and not just once. We need it continually. Especially when you are dealing with stress, life changes and weight loss. Some thoughts:

Self care isn't a ONE TIME deal. 
Go outside. Go cloud watching- lie on your back and relax.
Get in 15 minutes of sunshine. Go outside!
Goof around. Just take 5 minutes to do something "playful".
PRAY or do a mini meditation to be aware of your thoughts.
Inhale a upbeat smell.
Write out your thoughts. My B Journal is my constant companion.
Do one thing TODAY that makes you happy just because.
Do a mini declutter. (I promise this works!)
Take a bubble bath and treat yourself. 
Go help someone. 
UNPLUG for a hour. ( I try to go a few hours sometimes)
Edit your social media and mute people that are negative.
Get down and boogie (dance to your fave music).
TREAT yourself. A small affordable luxury is a pick me up.
Look in the mirror and say, I LOVE YOU right now.
Sing in the car.
Shave your legs girls. I personally LOVE the fresh feeling!
Be still. Sit somewhere GREEN and be quiet for a few minutes.
Have a good laugh.
HOME spa retreat. I love this relaxation method.
Watch a Hallmark movie. Of course, I added this!
Take a quick 10 minute nap. 

LITTLE and OFTEN is the way to WIN the day help with your own SELF CARE! You are worth it....

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Monday, March 20, 2017


Okay my friends. I just was reminded how much TODAY and everyday I take so many things for granted. I have emailed this morning with my son Zach who is serving a mission in Brazil. 

He wrote this POWERFUL message I want to share with you.

For me, I wake up everyday with gratitude and thankfulness and I realize that it's NOT enough. I need to be even more aware and thankful. Wow, am I grateful enough? NEVER. I never can be. I look at everything in my life and I feel so blessed. I realize I have WAY more than I deserve or need. I see this world in conflict. It is always... I have this car... but can't wait til I can buy THAT car. etc. I see it and know it's part of our society to always want what is NEW and better. Yes, but do we stop ever and say... I am HAPPY right now and only need what I have? I am guilty as everyone else. I know that material things are temporary and do NOT make us happy. 

I realize that HAPPINESS comes from within. We have everything we need. We should be more grateful to God for giving us so much. Food, home & shelter, and the blessings of family. So let me share this email and message he sent me. 

THIS one part of his MESSAGE will be a FOCUS for me:

"When god blesses us, we cannot stop saying thank you to him. "
Elder Zachary Collins

Well this week was blessed a lot and also had a lot of learning experiences. We baptized a girl who has been going to church for over 6 months and she cried as her good friend baptized her. it was super awesome. Also, everyone this week was talking about the missionary brawl in manaus hahaha, but we had a lot of difficulties this week with some of our best investigators. 
We also heard from some recent converts that they arent going to church because they dont have the money to get there. In fact their kids are starving cuz they dont have honestly hit my heart hard...we truly need to be so much more grateful for our lives. its truly such a blessing to have a home, a family, a shower, a toilet, and food...because many people live in a one room shack, no shower, no toilet, and are unable to feed their children. 

When god blesses us, we cannot stop saying thank you to him. 

Seriously we have small reasons for sadness there in the states...because we are so blessed and if we arent grateful and charitable then truly we are nothing. Be grateful for what we have and never stop looking to help, serve, and donate to others. love you all.
Elder Collins.

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Tuesday, March 14, 2017


Zach's email this week really hit close to my heart. He talked about how it takes effort and commitment in order to see changes in our life. He talked about how in baseball you can go one day and practice for hours and then that's it. He said how much better it is to practice every day for a couple of hours and be persistent. That's when you see the amazing growth. 

Isn't this true in life? How often have I worked at something for one day or a short time and just stopped doing it or lacked a sincere effort. I've changed a lot in the past few months. I've worked so hard on ME. I've learned I can only do the work on me. I'm feeling stronger ever day. My health journey is only part of the progress. I'm still overcoming some personal challenges that has made me who I am and things I need to change. I've fallen flat on my face at times.

 I'm proud to say I'm letting go and feeling the blessing of rediscovering who I am. I am willing to face my weaknesses and strengthens to be a better ME.  I can only change me and as a FIXER it sometimes weighs on my heart when I can't change things for people I love. WOW... I have really struggled as I watch the people I love the most deal with so much in their life lately. 

So today I weighed in. I was down 1.5 lbs for the entire week. Of course, I love to see higher numbers lost but I was content with my lose.  I have things to look forward to- the TC Cruise, McKay's wedding and I am so determined to HIKE this big mountain in Mexico, the Silhouette Summit in Hawaii and MORE. 

The coolest thing is that I have NO MORE numbness in the middle of the night. It's gone!!!!!  It was scary and I feel so much healthier. 

So today I had a major boo hoo meltdown at the appt. It was completely unexpected and not pretty. I mean, I get weighed, measured, and then the next step was the cute girl who I talked to each week. I went in KNOWING I was a little emotional, but intended to not say anything. I love that they have counseling for you. So as we begin to talk, I felt the tears and the tightness in my throat begin. I was overwhelmed today. I am overwhelmed with so much right now. It had NOTHING to do with my weight or the scale. I just needed to "let go" of my feelings and thoughts.

 I shared how lately I feel that this weight journey has opened my heart to a journey of acceptance in my life.  I had a big AHA moment. I was struggling to ACCEPT that I am doing the best that I can. Okay... deep... I realize so many things are out of my control. I worry about my son in Brazil every day. I worry about my cute pregnant daughter Taylor who is not having the easiest pregnancy and may be put on bed rest. I worry about my husband who works so hard as he has started his new practice. I worry about my products and pray they do well and sell (they are in the most amazing stores). I don't want to let anyone down. Am I doing enough for McKay's wedding right now? I have the TC cruise this month... will everyone going be happy?  In a nutshell... I worry a lot and I stress over things that are important and things that aren't. Of course, there is personal things that I cannot share but trust me... I have a GIGANTIC plate.  I cried as I expressed my thoughts to her. I felt stupid for being so emotional  but I could not stop the tears.  I apologized and left the office after my visit was over. I had to work on some design deadlines with my graphic designer. Yes, there I went again... crying. 

GUESS WHAT? It was JUST what I needed TODAY. I needed to cry it out... talk it out and accept my journey RIGHT now. Sometimes for me, it's not what anyone says to me... but that I said it and I let it out. I often figure it out myself. So tonight I am still emotional and in such a good way. I feel so much better. Brian could tell I was overwhelmed and we went to a movie tonight. It really helped to just be with him and know he loves my crazy emotional self. I am willing to FACE that these tender times that make me who I am. They make me CARE more about others and myself. I am tenderhearted and I care. I am working on acceptance and it's been very necessary and helping me a lot. 

So sometimes, I think a good cry can really help clear your heart and mind. 

Did you know that somehow a house can pass inspection that did not have insulation put in? Yep, we learned today that we have ZERO insulation in part of our house. We could not figure out WHY we could heat this area and rooms and it was always so cold or HOT in the Summer. So we are in the process of having insulation installed this week so it's not so crazy cold and our fuel bill isn't so crazy. 

I am so grateful that no matter what I am facing, I have PROFOUND blessings.
I get to do WHAT I love.
I have the most incredible support system with my family and best friends. 

This photo from Saturday makes me laugh. I bought this skirt when I weighed 37 lbs more. Yes, it was sliding around and I have the MOST unflattering photos from my presentation at the Home & Garden show. The skirt was actually twisting and turning as I moved. I am PROUD of what I am doing to improve me. 
I loved talking at the show. It went amazing and I felt I learned a lot as I presented. 

*just a few tips I shared at the HOME & GARDEN SHOW:
Buy pillows that have zippers. (Easiest way to keep them clean and can last longer)

To create illusion of larger rooms in your home, hang the curtain rods higher and have longer drapery. 

Style your home with MIRRORS-
the give the illusion of a extra window, adds light to a room and can be a beautiful statement piece in your room or above fireplace.

they set the tone of your room. A easy 
affordable way to change the look of your home is to change the fixtures. You can spray paint or alter the lights as needed at the fraction of the cost. Hobby Lobby has magnetic pendants that you can simply add to any light fixture too.

so simple to do to create visual space in your home.
get rid of items and things that you do not love.

BUY with INTENT as you purchase items for your home. Do you LOVE it? Don't settle. 

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Friday, March 10, 2017


I'm prepared for the HOME & GARDEN show. It's finally this WEEKEND. I am so excited to share and speak at this event. I will be on the stage at 4:00 pm MST if you are attending. I will be sharing it on FACEBOOK LIVE at the same time and then will upload to You Tube after the show. So today I thought I would do a little preview of some of the things I will be sharing. I have so much more in my presentation though!

Hello I'm thrilled to be presenting this Saturday in Sandy Utah. Join me friends at 4:00 pm at the Sandy Expo. This is just one of my DIY home gallery ideas I will be showing. This is my wall in my basement and each 11x14 family photos are printed in b&w and in a brass 16x20 frame. The result is STUNNING in gold and meaningful. Join me to learn my tips and tricks on home design. Salt Lake Tribune Home + Garden Festival The @SLChomeshow is the place for #garden inspiration, home improvement ideas & expert advice! Visit the Salt Lake Tribune Home + Garden Festival, March 10-12 at the South Towne Expo Center for garden inspiration, home improvement ideas & tons of expert advice. Get tickets:
#SaltLake Tribune Home + Garden Festival is the place to go for gardening inspiration, home improvement ideas & tons of expert advice. We’ll see you at #HomeShow #SLCHomeShow #SaltLake #SaltLakeHomeShow #Utah #SLC#SLCEvents (etc.)
@homeshows @teresacollinsdesigns @teresacollinswebber #homegallery#brass 

I want to tell you that when I found our home... it was like a instant "this is where we need to be" moment. It was in the middle of the night and I saw it online. I knew it wasn't my style in decor, colors and fixtures.  I knew I would want to design and remodel the house to be US... BUT I knew this was the HOUSE!


I replaced all the lighting and fixtures. I did two different colors here. A dark gray (elephants breathe) Sherwin Williams and PURE WHITE Sherwin Williams.



I LOVED the dark wood in our home but it was so DARK and anyone who knows me knows that I love WHITE and LIGHT!!!! So I had all the hardwood floors stripped and a white washed. They are gorgeous and show NO dirt. 

REGRET- I wish I had gotten a bigger table for my BIG family. This one is about 9 feet and I could have gone bigger in my space.

This was BEFORE. 
When you walked in to the house. 

The large mosaic was one HUGE piece and we had to hire a excavator to come and take it out. It was quite the job but the colors were not neutral enough for our style. So we added these gorgeous travertine tiles and black slate to outline the space. 

We have a lot of tile in our home and it's very easy for me to keep clean and with the amount of traffic in our home, it's better than carpet for us. The key is finding a home that suits your own "personal" needs. 

My railing is probably my FAVORITE before of the house. I didn't change a thing!

Adding mirrors to any space is almost like adding a window inside your home. It's a great way to add visual space.

This mirror is on a large wall and is actually a BIG 84" tall and around 55" wide (Howard Elliot offers big mirrors). I searched for a oversized mirror to fill this landing space.

Next is the living room. When you walk into the home you see this room. This is the BEFORE.

As great as this space is, it had so much furniture and it made it seem crowded to me. I knew I would open up the space more by having less furniture. I also refinished all the wood floors in the entire house. The floors were so dark and I knew I wanted to have the combination of the dark doors and the lighter wood floors. We added more lighting to this space as well. I have the BEST electrician here in Utah if you are interested. 

This is the BEFORE of our front room. I am obsessed with the large white fireplace. I loved all the oversized windows. 

The white fireplace was ONE of my biggest things I loved was the tall fireplace. It is almost 8 feet tall and a large focal point of the room.

Let's talk KITCHEN. I wanted a larger kitchen since we have our kids at our home all the time. We entertain a lot. Plus, Brian LOVES to cook. I loved the space in the kitchen. 

This was the BEFORE kitchen. It's a great kitchen but the cabinets were dated and all the appliances. The lighting was dull and I felt I needed more lighting. There was also a red paint above that cabinets.

So we remodeled the kitchen completely. I designed the kitchen by keeping the same cabinets and hiring a company to refurbish the cabinets. They came and took them to their shop and painted them. The island is now black and the cabinets are PURE WHITE. We did all new appliances and added new lights in the ceiling, above and below the cabinets and  added two chandeliers to the island. 

The kitchen before actually had two granite slabs that were different. So I replaced with white Carrara countertops. I decided to make the island bigger at 10 feet. 

Since the kitchen is larger, I designed the backsplash to be designed with 10"wide Carrara tiles. They are bigger and go well with the space. I designed the backsplash with the same tiles and love how it turned out!

BEFORE family room (right across from kitchen)
We painted the entire house Sherwin Williams GRAY. We also painted the fireplace in this room. The wood structure above the fireplace was taken off. It was actually in the movie DUMB & DUMBER (a little trivia for you!) The men who built our home were producers and worked in this film. 

Painting the entire main floor the gray color made it very cohesive and flow. We did new carpet in this room. I love the fireplace now that we had it painted with a special stone paint. It really opened the space and brought in so much light.

This was the GREEN wall. 

This next area sold us on this house.

This is the BEFORE in the guest suite bedroom. 

Our house had a great bonus. It came with a guest suite on the end of our home. It is attached to our house but can be separated and locked if anyone ever stayed or lived here. It has it's on bedrooms, mini kitchen, bathroom and family room. I felt as my family is so big and growing with marriage and grand babies we could use all the space we could get.  We literally have guests (kids) every week now. 


Again we simply had the walls painted and new carpet along with new light fixtures. 

Now this is a crazy BEFORE...


The vanity area is now a MINI kitchen and the fan area is now a second bedroom for the guests.


The kids love the mini soda & water fridge here too.

I simply remodeled the bathroom with new lighting, new cabinets, mirror, etc. I keep it fully stocked for guests to enjoy and use.


A smaller room that attached to the mini kitchen. It was intended to be a dining area and I realized after moving in that we needed another bedroom for our kids and guests in this area. It was perfect for us.  We simply removed the fan and added a light pendant. 

This is the family room in the guest area. 



The family room is a hit too. This is where the babies like to come and play too.  We loved the white fireplace addition to the room. I now workout in this room.
* Sherwin Williams gray paint, new carpet, new light fixtures. We took out the black heater in the corner.

I think the last room I will share in this post is our bathroom. 

Again the house was really dark. The walls were all brown and wallpaper. I knew I wanted to keep all the dark wood doors and molding and make the cabinets (white) and walls (gray).

I love the mixture of DARK wood and white cabinets.
I love to mix silver with gold too.
I kept the sample marble and added only new fixtures and paint.


I plan to share more of the house in another post since this has become quite a long post. I am excited to be asked again to come an present at the Home & Garden show so please come if you can. 

I am in St. George Utah right now with my cute hubby. We are working from here and having a mini vacation at the same time. He is attending a law conference. I went to JoAnn Fabric and Crafts store today and decided to LIVE social media GIVE away. I am giving every single sku of my entire B Journal collection to one LUCKY fan.  Over $200.00 retail value. Make sure you are following me on instagram and Facebook to win. I posted how to win the ENTIRE new program. 

B Journal will change the way you journal, plan, document and organize your life. It's all undated. Yes, it's simplistic and forgiving. It can be anything you want it to be.

(Jennifer Haggerty photography)

I'm here in St. George and I'm literally eating out every meal and I'm still on my plan.

It's been 8 weeks now...
I lost 4.6 lbs this past week.
Hmmm... I am right at 37 lbs LOST.
So many people have mailed, texted, messaged me and asked me to PLEASE share what program I am doing.

I never intended to share it. 
I am not sponsoring or posting in any way to SELL my program to you. I am in no way profiting on sharing or feel THIS program would be the RIGHT one for you. I hesitated to share because I don't think this program is for everyone.

So I decided to share what I am doing because I am going to be TRUTHFULLY blunt on my thoughts. I am going to share the good and the bad with you. 

I am doing a program called Medi Weight Loss.
It is located in my state in Riverton, Utah. This is a little bit of information I found online to explain it.
                                            13348 S Market Center Dr #200, Riverton, UT 84065
                                                                      Phone(385) 887-7120

The Medi Weight Loss system does not like to be associated with the term “diet.” They rather claim to be a lifestyle-changing program, which will try and get you on the path to sustainable weight loss.* This medical program is under professional supervision, and it is going to require an ample amount of work from the customer to see any results. There are physical locations the customer will need to go into, and in order to get started they will need to book an in person consultation. When you begin the program you will receive a complete medical exam including blood panel and EKG. You will receive weekly consultation meetings with a medical professional regarding your progress and or lack thereof, nutritional plans and education, access to websites, and access to signature supplements.

So here are my honest thoughts:

This program is NOT easy. 
I adhere to it to the T. I have not cheated once. There is no days or meals off. 
I drink over 120 oz of water every day. 
You are accountable every week when you weigh in.
It works if you are committed to the program.
I love that I eat REAL food and I'm learning to make wise choices. I eat out a lot and I special order everything. 
It takes about an hour every week with my appointment. It's more than getting weighed and measured every week. I can see my blood pressure going down and my fat loss going down every week. They take my measurements every week too. I get the B12 shots every week. I talk to a nutritionist and counselor every week. I am working on eating when I am HAPPY and when I am stressed and understanding my triggers. I find their advice and message every week VITAL to me. I know for me the accountability is essential. 
I give it my ALL. 
The program was not cheap but I eat so much less and I think I am actually coming out a head in many ways. 
PLUS, my health is WORTH every dollar I spend.
FOOD is not a REWARD in my journey.
Today we went to a massage school here and I paid $34.00 for a HOUR massage. Yes, rewarded myself.
I have a NO FAIL attitude and am POSITIVE in that this is going to help me be HEALTHY again.
I was waking up every night with numb arms, hands and fingers. I was not sleeping. I can honestly say I have had ZERO numbness in over a month now. 
This program is HARD in that you are eating CLEAN and based on your weight you will be told how many protein calories to eat each day. I was higher with 800 calories during the first couple of weeks. Now I eat 700 calories of protein a day. I also eat vegetables, 1/2 avocado or nuts, EVERY day. I choose to give up fruit and diet soda. I can add back fruit any time I want and exchange it for my vegetable calories.  You also can ask for appetite suppressants if you feel you need them. It's really up to YOU!
The food program is customized to you personally.
You can tell them what you like and want to eat. 

I read about this program for a few weeks before I called and made the appointment. I read bad reviews and I read great reviews. I thought and prayed about it. 
Was it right for ME?
I decided it was. 
I have ZERO regrets.
It works because I work it. 
There is no magic pill or shortcut. 
It's daily adherence to the program.
It's weekly weigh ins. 
It's right for me.
PLEASE remember I am just a patient and I am in no ways
PAID to support or promote this program. 

If you have any questions feel free to contact me.

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