Sunday, July 13, 2014

STAY with me....

I simply love Sundays. It is the one day that I try to not even go online, read an email, get business calls, etc. I do love to blog on Sundays because it's my day of reflection. 

 I love going to church with my family. It has been over a year now, that I go alone with my boys.  My deep faith is what gives me the strength and renews my spirit when I think I can't go on. Today I was just emotional and after the Sacrament meeting,  I decided to just get into my car and drive. I just needed to think and clear my head.

 I have so much on my mind right now. The most important thing being my husband. All week, I go to the office and try to keep myself positive and often avoid talking about Ty's cancer if I can help it. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me or our family. I cry when I talk about it, so I just try to avoid emotional discussions. Each day I am grateful he is here with me. That he is fighting with all his might to live. He is the love of my life and my heart is just torn apart, watching him struggle. 

I got into my car and heard this song...






ALL I could do was cry and cry.  I felt so touched by the lyrics and how they spoke to my heart and how I feel. I felt such a connection and my desire for Tyler to FIGHT so we can be together. I am not ready to let him go. I so desperately want to tell Tyler the same thing... Please STAY WITH ME... because YOUR ALL THAT I NEED. Darling... stay with me. Oh how I want to beg Ty to keep fighting for us. I am just not ready to accept that he won't be with me. I can't imagine a day without him. CAUSE your LOVE is all I need. They say LOVE is clear to see... STAY WITH ME.

I was crying so hard I could not see the road. I tried to call my daughters who were at church... and then thankfully I was able to talk to my friend who just let me CRY and talk.  I try so hard to not cry... to be a strong and encouraging wife and mother. Somedays I just have to let it out so that I am getting all that "sadness" out. I just want to thank all of you for being so wonderful and encouraging. I know so many of you are going through trials like ours and I know how it changes you and your family. It changes how you look at everything. 

Yesterday, I made my yearly GRATITUDE book with Life Emporium. I know this probably got me "thinking" and I knew I need to share and teach this project. THIS will be online because I believe in reflecting and writing our life story. I need others to document, share and celebrate the day TODAY. We have no idea what the next day, or even hour holds. 

I got the BEST letter yesterday. Our beautiful daughter McKay has her release date from her mission. She will be coming home on MONDAY December 15th 2014. I was so happy that I think I squealed. I so want her to walk off that plane and see her dad. I want her to know how much her service has helped others and that because of her and her example we have been blessed. I am a better person. My heart is grateful. I could not be prouder of her and Seth. My two kids... so love them so much.


I look at her and my heart bursts open. I honestly don't
know why God gave me such a angel to raise. She
has a way of making everyone around her happy. I hope
you someday will get to met her. I think she is someone who will change the world with her presence.
 


It's official the LETTER came yesterday and Taylor and Travis took this photo for me. I was and am so looking forward to attacking her. ha ha... I have told McKay from the moment she learned about dad... that she would see him again. He will be there to watch her arrive at the SLC airport. I know this is something that is near and dear to here. My husband may be her step dad but he is truly her daddy in every way possible. They have the cutest bond and I know she is his little girl.

OKAY... go hug your family. Go write a letter to someone you love. Call someone... SHARE your love and your heart. Tell those you love how much you love them... Don't take a day for granted.
I love you all....
 





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20 comments:

Jennyjo88 said...

Teresa, the way you described your daughter is exactly the way many would describe you. You make people happy and you have such a positive energy surrounding you that God had to give you an angel...in fact I am pretty sure He gave you several. I wish you and your family peace in your hearts.

KAT said...

You are a spectacular woman! Strong, vunerable, emotional, creative, loving - I pray that your husband will be there to meet your daughter off the plane and for many more moments to come!

Jean said...

You are a role model for your daughter

Philippa said...

Hi Teresa honey, oh my heart breaks for you so much but at the same time I am SO proud of you for your strength and the power of your love for your family. I can't find the words to truly express what I want to say but I know that you will know what that is. Hmm does that make sense, giggle?! I love you so much and send all of my extra strength, huge warm hugs and soft tissues to wipe away your tears. It's so okay to cry honey. You need to do it.. whenever things feel too overwhelming just go and sit somewhere, or drive somewhere and sit and let it all out. Your body and spirit are coping with so much right now.. crying is their release and renews them each time. I LOVE YOU xxxxx

Kelly Jean said...

I'm so happy you K own that crying is okay. That it is okay to be vulnerable and sad. We all need a good cry. Your daughter coming home will be such a good blessing. Keep going Teresa. And keep inspiring others. You simply NEED to.

Kelly O said...

Teresa, one of my favorite things about you is how real you are… met you in person in 03/13 in VA (remember Oprah and Gayle…. HA). You are so amazing in how you encourage others… even when your heart is breaking!!! Our God is bigger than any health issue or problem here on this earth!!! Continue to cling to him for your strength in this storm!!! You have many prayer warriors out here lifting your family up!!! We have fallen in love with your family through you!! So praying you feel all our love!!!

Gram Es said...

May today's good cry bring you a stronger and happier tomorrow. xoxo

Patty said...

You are so inspiring! My prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time! I'm so excited your daughter is coming home! I love all your new products!

Claire Spielman said...

Now, I'm crying..... Hoping and praying Ty makes a strong recovery.
YOU really do inspire all of us and that's why that photo we took is so meaningful to ME! You are stronger than you know and will pull through this dark time.
If you get a chance, take a peek at the flip book I finished from your fabulous class @ The Villages. YOU INSPIRED me to CREATE a memorable time with all of you.http://www.scrapmyway.blogspot.com/2014/07/create-flip-book.html

Warm HUGS from Florida...
Claire

Anelsie said...

My heart breaks for you, dear friend but I know God will guide you and support you through this process. Stay strong, keep your faith and let's praise the Lord! Sending you, Ty and your beautiful family all my love! Praying for all of you!

Emma Sacchetti said...

❤️

hotpotato said...

BIG HUGS xxxxx

LisaSoares said...

I'm so sorry this nightmare continues for you. It seemed so hopeful earlier in the year, but just stay as positive as you are that it will turn back that way again. My prayers are with you, your family and especially Ty.

Paula said...

Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Love you even though I don't know you and will always support your beautiful work. Praying for your husband and your family, going through something similar in our own home, and the fragility and strength that the human spirit possesses is a gift from God.

Kathy Brockman said...

You may feel overwhelmed and lonely, but you are not alone. There are so many people lifting your family up in prayer. It sounds like you are scared, but God is in control. Praying for you!

Dria said...

YAY!! So glad you got such great news about your daughter coming home! I didn't realize she couldn't just say, "I need to go home now". Sending more prayers for Ty. Yes he needs to stay with you. Miracles do happen , he has fought hard and deserves to be healed. I m loving your new lines! Keep them coming.

Vanessa Heinzer said...

Teresa - Dieter and I are keeping you, Ty and the whole family in our thoughts every day! If you ever need to talk, you have my number! I know how important it can be to be able to talk through the emotions. I would not have survived our loss without my family and friends around me.
McKay is an inspiration to all, as are you and the rest of your family. I can't imagine how much you must miss her. Glad she will be home for Christmas. Stay strong my friend, we are all holding you close.

Kim Traylor said...

Teresa, my heart gies out to you and your family. I know that when you are a strong person it's sometimes hard to break down but even we strong people need a good cry from time to time. It will rejuvenate and give you strength to continue. My neighbor lost her daddy to cancer 2 years ago. He built the house for him and his wife. Long story short, she remarried and moved. Their daughter moved in because she wants to keep the house. She found a brand new pair of sneakers last weekend and broke. I was glad she felt she could come over and just cry it out. When she left her spirits were lifted. You need a good friend who will just let you cry and get it out, otherwise we will simply burst. God is using you right now. You reach millions and are able to share his love with all that you are going through. I know he works miracles and believe y'all will get one too. You have a huge group of people praying for you. You cry when you need to and know that we are all praying for your family and God hears every single word. He will deliver. McKay will be a huge blessing and gives everyone something to look forward too. I'm glad she will be home for Christmas. Keeping y'all in our prayers - Kim

tndj said...

Crying relieves our soul and hearts - if only for a short while it does help. So happy you had a friend there for you when you needed it. Your positive thinking and your faith will get your through. You have family, friends and lots of us supporting and praying for you. Hang in there girl! Your writings inspire others who are going through trials and tribulations of their own - they see that they are not alone!

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