Monday, October 27, 2014

The REASON WHY....

Friday morning,  I was driving in my car. I could not sleep and so I decided get up and be productive. I am driving and a song came on from my playlist. Okay... it's called SHOWER by Becky G. It is a young dance "fun" song. I started to listen to the music. It hit me. I was driving and crying so hard I needed to pull over to the side of the road. YES, I admit, I realized that this song should not have provoked such emotion. It's the WORDS...


I don't know, it's just something about ya
Got me feeling like I can't be without ya
Anytime someone mention your name
I be feeling as if I'm around ya
Ain't no words to describe you baby
All I know is that you take me high
Can you tell that you drive me crazy?
Cause I can't get you out my mind
Thinkin of ya when I'm goin to bed
When I wake up think of ya again
You are my homie, lover and friend
Exactly why
You light me up inside
Like the 4th of July
Whenever your around
I always seem to smile
And people ask me how
Well your the reason why
I'm dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Singing in the shower
All I want, all I need is your lovin
Baby you make me hot like an oven
Since you came you know what I've discovered
Baby I don't need me another
No, no all I know (know)
Only you got me feelin so (so)
And you know that I have to have ya
And I don't plan to let you go
Thinkin of ya when I'm goin to bed
When I wake up think of ya again
You are my homie, lover and friend
Exactly why
You light me up inside
Like the 4th of July
Whenever your around
I always seem to smile
And people ask me how
Well your the reason why
I could not believe how a "DANCE" song could move my heart so much. Then I remembered the conversation with my bishop. We were discussing how in life we simply don't know WHY bad things happen and WHY we may have certain trials. 
I listened to this song OVER and OVER. I thought of the lyrics that touched my heart. I knew that TY is the reason WHY for me. He is the reason I have been so HAPPY for so many years and the reason WHY my LIFE is so blessed. Ty and I have the love story of all love stories. We were the BRADY BUNCH family from the time we started dating and then married. I remember the FIRST time I saw him. I was a divorced young mother of three very young daughters. I was NOT looking. In fact, I was dating quite a bit but marriage and love was not on my radar. I met him and my world changed. I had NEVER felt for anyone like I had for him. I was smitten- I fell in LOVE and we became best friends. We would "date" on the phone. We would talk until 4 and 430 am every night into the morning. We would FALL asleep with our phones by our ears so we were still together. We were connected and it was a "instant" love. I know we both never had felt anything like what we felt for each other. We had both been married before. We knew that it was going to be hard to have ex's and children to blend. Ty and I got married and then we had two handsome boys together right away. They are only 14 months apart. It was hard to have a large blended family and yet it was easy too because our LOVE was so strong. 
I cannot tell you how tough it was at the beginning. Ty told me, that DIVORCE is not an option. No matter what we were going to face the hard times, get over our differences and make it work. Let's just say, he was right. We have had our times. It was not easy at times. I realized that we balanced each other. I realized he needed me just as much as I needed him. I KNOW that he is the reason WHY I am who I am today. 
I am often asked and interviewed about my business and my successes. I always think of Heavenly Father and my husband. I know that my husband is my biggest "fan." I only wish other women could have a man who treats them the way my husband does. Ty is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. He can be more quiet, so when he talks- it's good. HA! I remember several years ago, he flew to California. He told me that when he was at the airport waiting to board to his flight home, that he sat there and people watched. He told me that he looked around and kept thinking, "I've never seen a woman that compares to Teresa." He came home and told me that he just feels this way and I am the most beautiful person in the world to him. He is the guy who tells me DAILY how much he adores me and loves me. He is the guy who has written me boxes of little love notes over the years. He would write one so when I woke up I would know he loved me. I always tell my children that marriage is hard. It's work and it's patient, kind and very loving. I know there is no perfect marriage or perfect person, however TY is my reason WHY I feel loved, cherished, taken care of, adored, well... you know what I mean.
Many of you have met Ty over the years. He can work the bind it all, the TC cut n boss, and he really has helped me as my business and brand grew. He was the one who has held my hand and helped me get through tough lessons in business. So today I hope you will think of your REASON... your WHY in life. We all have a WHY... WHY are you you???? Everyone has a WHY. 
Tyler is my WHY and so it's hard right now. The oncology specialists cannot do more chemo or another transplant until at least 6 months. His body cannot take anymore and so that option is not being discussed right now. They are having him come in twice a week to carefully monitor his test results, watch for graft host issues, watch his counts, and access any changes so they can be on top of everything. Right now, his mom is living with us and cooking with no sugar/carbs and juicing lots of carrots... eating green. The doctors right now are just watching Ty and making sure he is not in any pain or symptoms come up that need to be addressed. 
I have not blogged because my heart is just tender. I cry so often that I have to get in my car and drive. I had a tough time in church yesterday and I feel "weak" that I can't seem to stop the tears. People ask me about Ty and instantly the tears start coming. This makes me sad because I want and need to be stronger for Ty. I don't want to break down around him and others. He needs me to be strong. He needs me to be the anchor right now... so just know I am trying really hard.  
I can't thank my sweet and kind neighbors, family and friends who are there for us. I know the positive love and support is what is needed. He is homebound and can't go out because his counts are still so low and a simple cold could be devastating. We appreciate the notes, emails, things in our LOVE BOX, etc. I have not been able to respond to any of them. PLEASE know that they are appreciated. 
I have a dear friend who told me that she is struggling and SAD right now. She felt it's hard for her, because she comes to my blog and that it makes her SAD to read my updates. It hit me hard. I was like... PLEASE don't be sad. IF anything, I want her and each of us to LIVE life NOW... my friend Tim Holtz and Mario say... REMEMBER THE NOW. This is true. Don't be sad... be HAPPY it happened. I am thankful and happy every single DAY that I wake up and CHERISH the good that surrounded me. Yes, life is hard for me and others right now. I cry many happy tears too. I am a WARRIOR in life. I believe that hard times help us to SEE more clearly. We have to appreciate what we have and just be MORE grateful. We can't question God and his plan for us. We would go insane. I have a firm testimony of Heavenly Father and I believe that my husband and I are going to be with each other for ETERNITY. This is what keeps me going. I don't question God's will. I will not be bitter, but thankful. I hope by being so honest that it's only to share that GOOD prevails, LOVE prevails, HOPE prevails and I will cherish every moment and memory along the way. 
SORRY... longest blog post ever. I never plan what I will share. It just happens to come to mind and I write from the heart and then I hit publish.  

Ty is the reason WHY that no matter what I am the luckiest, happiest woman. He is the LIGHT that keeps me going and this will be true forever.

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30 comments:

sunflowerlori said...

God bless you and Ty! You both are so incredibly strong. Amazing couple! I pray for his health to stabilize. :)

hotpotato said...

Beautifully put into words. xx

Anonymous said...

I know you are grateful to have your MIL staying with you now - she can minister to Ty in ways you cannot. Moms are like that... Praying that you all will recoup some strength during this time both physically and emotionally. Loving thoughts and prayers from Tennessee.

Anonymous said...

You are simply anazing..you lift my spirits ever time I read your posts...God bless you all...sending hugs ♡♡

Vanessa McKelvey-Smith said...

Amazing post from an Amazing Woman! You give your all to everything and everyone and I appreciate that so much. You and Ty will make it - you are each other's rock and inspiration! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...

Teresa, you are such an inspiration to me...I truly have learned so much from you, and I believe that you are teaching all of us about grace and joy, even in the most difficult times imaginable. Your love with Ty is something to be treasured, and for you to remind us readers of how to focus on what's important in life, is our blessing...May God grant you the strength you and Ty need, and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

R. said...

Sorry, my English is not good enough to express my feelings whenever I read your posts. but I want you to know that I think of you and your family each day. What you wrote about your love to Ty is so special, it touches me because it's what I feel when I think of my husband. He's my Why. He means everything to me. Sending all my love and prayers to you. Hugs from Germany
R.

Jean said...

You are brave and strong and so is Ty!

Michelle Clark said...

Still praying for your family! It's ok to have down times and feel helpless! I know God can strengthen you during those times.

Jackie said...

I love your love story. Your hard work and dedication inspire so many people. Stay strong and cry those tears when you have to. Life will go on no matter what happens to us. If only we had control but then if you really think about it that would not work either. So we go on, each day the sun rises and the sun sets and we can't stop it, but we can choose how we handle it. And that my friend is the only thing we do have control over. You are a warrior and you are handling things the best you can, and that is amazing for one woman amid the millions on this earth.Hoping for the miricle everyday, hugs, jackie

gela said...

I so admire your faith. Ty and the whole family have been in my prayers since this whole journey began. That is all I can do. So many people spend their whole lifetime looking for THE ONE. I am so glad you found him. God Bless.

Fritzi said...

Hon, just never forget that Ty might enhance your light, but you got so much shine all by yourself, that you simply dazzle anyone who is blessed too meet you. You are such a gift!

Scrapfaire said...

I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now, please don't feel weak, just let God take over when you feel weak, our heavenly father will just fold you into his arms and lift you up. I feel so close to you Teresa and I've never even met you in person, know that your light shines so brightly through the internet and you are touching the hearts of so many people. Your strength and devotion are amazing and you are so loved by so many. God is also showing his love through you. So many things in life happen that we don't understand, but it is all a part of his great plan. Love and prayers for your whole family sweet Teresa.

tndj said...

I have been praying for you and Ty and family every day. My husband
has been in the hospital since Friday night and as worried and upset
as I am I think of God and he is there for me. I also think of you and
know that I have to be strong like you. My faith will see me through.

kathy jo said...

You keep close to Ty and God. Praying for you. And sometimes the tears are just memories that sneak out of our eyes and roll down our checks. You are strong. :)

some kind of wonderful said...

God bless you and your sweet family. Continued prayers. Never apologize for the tears. Without them we wouldn't have the ability to feel. Hugs!

Ana Roat said...

I turned to the word this afternoon and the Lord lead me to this simple but power statement; Psalm 27: 13-14. He also wants you to know that crying is okay. It is not necessary to always be strong. That is His job-- "...in the release of control, I have found humbling power. In the chaos, I have found moments of sustaining peace. God gave no answers , then, just his presence. Just that. And his grace was sufficient." We love you!

jcobb said...

Please don't think of yourself as weak when you cry. It is because you love so deeply. If you try to hold the hurt and fear in it undermines the hope. Our Oncologist told us once that it was because we were able to cry together and separately that enabled us to hold on to our faith and determination to beat my husband's brain cancer. Just remember that when we all pray for Ty that you and the family are a huge part of those prayers, also.

Christie Bryant said...

Teresa,

Your words about Ty are so sweet and tender. I immediately thought of a song when you talked about being his anchor. I know he is also yours.

I love this song by Mindy Gledhill. Her albums help get me through tough times:

http://youtu.be/4AWRHBHDVlQ

You and your beautiful family are in my prayers.

XOXO,
Christie

Dria said...

Prayers, hugs and strength for you, Ty and your family. You all have a very tough long bumpy road ahead. I hope it goes right under a fabulous double rainbow and in-spite of how things look right now you have lots of long happy years together.

Ian's Girl said...

You, and Ty and your children are in a prayer circle throughout several churches in Arkansas... there is never a time when you aren't being prayed for, and blessed with love and healing thoughts.

Julie Ranae said...

Thank you for being such an inspiration....I can't imagine being in YOUR spot, but I do know what it's like to be where I am and I can identify in so many ways, including losing my mother after a long fight, just 7 weeks ago.
You are in my prayers and I can't thank you enough for the inspiration you continue to bring through your blog & creatively....Studio Gold has become my EVERYthing in creativity!

Anonymous said...

You have filled my heart with so many thoughts. God bless you and yourr family. You and your family are in my prayers. Kathy Orta Files

Debra Roberto said...


"Never in my life have I seen magic work so fast. I ordered a love spells from kizzekpespells@outlook.com because my man was acting like he didn't want to be with me anymore and spending less time with me before we broke up and i ask Dr. kizzekpe to cast a love spell on him to make him love me again and come back to me which he did and in the next 24hours after the spell was cast my man came to my house to beg for forgiveness and ask me to accept him back. Thank you Dr. for your help...


~Tammy~ said...

Blessings, prayers and much strength for you and Ty!

scootingranny said...

I have been impressed with your products and talent for a long time but ever since I met you at the Cricut Stampede in Dallas a few years ago, I have been impressed with you as a person. Every time I see you at CHA you smile so sweetly and always take time to stop and talk. I am so sorry that you guys are having to go through this but your love for Ty and your family and your faith are definitely a testimony. I pray for God's will, for your strength...and it comforts me to know you are surround by love, good friends, family and prayers from so many. Sending cyber hugs.

Tracey McNeely said...

Teresa I have been reading through your blog posts this morning and crying along with you. My brother lost his battle with cancer 7 years ago, but his cancer was untreatable from the start. I am sending you and your family prayers, your attitude is fantastic--keep it up. The power of hope and love is strong~hugs

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