Sunday, November 30, 2014

HELLO SUNDAY




Truth be known, my kids are "trying" to baby sit me. I know what they are doing. I know that they are trying to keep me busy. Today church was hard. I woke up and got my boys ready to go. As we left our empty house, it hit me that Ty would never be going to church with us again. I would sit alone with my boys. For many months, I was excited for the Sunday that Ty could finally go back to church with us. I went to church each week alone with the boys. As I walked in, I realized I was going to have to be strong. Everyone is so sweet and I sat alone as my sons blessed and passed the sacrament. Then they joined me. I thought what a blessing it is that they are at church with me. I have a HUGE responsibility to raise these boys alone now. They are in high school. This is such a important time in their life. Choices now will dictate the direction of their life.

I sat and immediately felt the strongest impression that someone was on my left side. No one was near me. I felt and knew it was Tyler. It was so strong... so intense that I sat still. I was scared to move and it was so intense that had it been a person sitting by me, I would have probably asked them to move and give me some space. However, I felt it was a blessing that I was feeling this. I sat and was afraid to move in fear it would go away.

Then my daughter Taylor, Travis and Jaxon came to spend the day with us. It was perfect. I even had a break down and they understood and loved me through it.  I left to go visit Ty's grave. I do this almost daily due to so many thoughts and emotions going on in my head. It is where I go to be alone and yes, I am that crazy girl on my knees praying and talking to Tyler. I came home to a great dinner that the kids made together.




I love that Taylor taught Zach how to make her "special" rolls. I think TIME together is just what is needed. TIME together and I wish the entire family was here. I realize more than ever that I am blessed to have Ty's family so close.
(lots of beautiful vases from the flowers sent)

I am going to work tomorrow. The kids will go back to school. I am nervous. I know that sounds silly. I am so blessed to have the most wonderful team. They have went above and beyond in taking care of everything.

I am just more than ever thinking about how precious enjoying life is. I am reminded that it's not ever WHAT you have but WHO you have that matters. It's LOVE and making memories and that is  why I choose the song- Don't Blink by Kenny Chesney in the video for Tyler. I am going to do everything I can to make LIFE special for my children and family. I want to FOCUS on what matters most and never forget how very blessed I am during my trials and during the happy times.

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9 comments:

Anna Curtis said...

Teresa, I am so sorry for your loss! I lost my mother 3 months ago, and cannot even imagine losing my Best Friend and Husband. I haver been following your blog for over a year, and just found out you are in my stake. I would love to be able to help anyway I can. I know it is hard to ask for help, but if you need someone to grocery shop, help decorate for christmas, bring in some food, or anything, let me know. The best gift is one of service, and that is what sisters are for! I live right behind the grade school. My heart is breaking for you and your family, and it will take time to grieve and heal. You are one of the strongest women I have ever seen, and the most positive and beautiful women inside and out. Thank you for the inspiration you given me in all your blogs, and please don't hesitate to let me know how I can be of service to you and your family. Anna Curtis

hotpotato said...

While you are doing everything to make life good for your family just don't forget about yourself. x

Kathy Jo said...

You are amazing. Thank you for sharing your heart. You have made me remember just how special each and every day is. Praying for peace and comfort for you.

Wilma said...

Wow. what a great moment you had in church...feeling Tyler near you.
You have great kids.

Paper Sewn Visions said...

You are truly amazing to share with us something so painful to your heart. I can't say that I truly know how you are feeling for I still have my spouse but my heart aches for you and your family. A beautiful blessing that your husband supported you in your business that you are able to support yourself and your family. That doesn't happen often in many womens lives. You are so inspiring and caring about others just don't forget to take care of your self. Prayers for you and your family for comfort and peace.

Leann said...

Sweet post, T. You are doing great! Love you the most!

Philippa said...

Hi Teresa sweetheart, oh your children are just SO, SO special. They are this way because of their wonderful role models. You and Ty have done a fabulous job and you will continue to do so - I know this deep within my heart - because you are an amazingly inspirational, loving person and Ty will be right there with you, to guide you. Love you muchly xxxx

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