Saturday, November 15, 2014

This is not the end...

I have typed this so many times. I keep deleting. I am still at the hospital with my husband. It is in the middle of the night. I am not sleeping... very little if at all. I just have to keep watching him. He asks me to "not leave him." I wouldn't even if he wanted me too. There are many tender words expressed. We always have called ourselves "besties" and "best friends." Sometimes it's a word... bestie or best friend. Right now, I tell him, "It's going to okay. I love you." When you don't know what to say, simply say... I love you. I have learned this. My mind is racing a thousand directions and emotions are tender.

 As many of you know, our family is having a hard time watching this happen. There are no more treatments. They let Ty and I know this week that nothing has worked and the disease has progressed to a point that we are facing the end of his life journey. We wanted to make sure our children knew what is happening prior to sharing. 

How do you ever prepare for this? It's 3 am in the morning and I can tell you that my heart is so sad. I try so hard not to cry around Tyler. All I can do is be strong in front of him. I can't leave his side. I have been at the hospital this entire week and cherish every moment. I wish I could sleep, but watching the person you love MORE than anything in this journey has shut me down. I am hoping that my friends who read this... my neighbors will take care of my children right now. My heart is heavy knowing they don't have me at home to love and care for them. I just realized in the middle of the night that they may need milk and food and life has to go on for them. I am thankful for many people helping and watch over my kids. With the most thankfulness my church ward has been bringing in dinners each night to my children. My two son in laws Devan and Travis are helping them. Devan is staying with my boys. I knew my youngest son needed a "male figure" because he is always best around strong men. I don't know if this makes sense. I just listened to God and knew that I had to ask Devan and Gentry to come to the home this past week. Ty reminded my boys here yesterday. The most important decision you make if life will be who you marry and have a family with. This is wise words. 

I'm sorry if I'm rambling. I am sure I am. I had lost my mother suddenly and now I am losing my husband. My best friend in a totally different way. He wants to live so bad. He has not lost his HOPE. He has spent time with the children. He is struggling in the last stages of cancer. Yesterday, he told me that I can share that they let us know that he is dying and when he goes home from the hospital, he will have hospice care.  The doctors have been so kind, so wonderful and we "knew" what they were going to tell us. I have wanted to keep things very private at my husbands request. 

So this morning, I am in total darkness and sharing my soul. I want to let you know that the last few days have been so beautiful. We are saying our goodbyes. I have laid by him in the bed and wept with him. This GIANT of a man, still has hopes of a miracle. He wants to live so bad. He doesn't want to leave me and the kids. He is most worried about our two teenage boys. He knows this is a hard age for boys. This is breaking his heart. Ty talks about his strong faith and accepts that when he dies this has been God's will. He has never been angry. I wish you could all know him. I wish you could see his dedication to me and our children.  We have two beautiful children on missions. McKay and Seth only give him comfort. He is so proud of them. They are aware that their dad will be going HOME to God sooner than we expected. I would give anything to hug them both right now and comfort them. I am most worried about our younger sons right now since there was no way to prepare them for this loss and change. Ty is the best dad. There is no replacing him and his greatness and wisdom. He told them that he will be with them. Ty reminded the boys that he will watch Zach play college baseball. He will watch Ty snowboard, and see them both graduate high school, go on missions, go to college, eventually marry and have their own children. If they are doing something wrong, he is gonna give them a little pinch. (yes, my husband is so funny too!)

I have to say that because of our faith, we believe we are an eternal family. We believe that this life is a small pinpoint in our journey. We all die and will go back to live with our Father in heaven and Jesus Christ. THIS life does not end our marriage, our love, our sealing to be together forever. I know that families are forever. THIS is what comforts me right now. I don't know what I would do if I thought death was the end. I believe that death is hardest for those left behind. Tyler keeps telling me that he is sorry. He keeps saying this. He tells me, "I am sorry, I am leaving you. I don't want to and I know where I'm going and will be fine." He told me that it will be hardest on me and our children. I know this is true. I know saying good bye is not what I want to do, even now I think... please God don't take him. I don't want him to go, but I am asking God to now let him suffer anymore.  I believe that death is a glorious reunion in heaven with God and those that have past on before us. I know his dad and grandparents are there waiting for him. I am sharing WHAT gives me comfort and peace. It doesn't and won't take away my immense broken heart. I will miss him and don't know how I will face this but I know it's part of life's plan. 

I once read a book on grieving by Russell M Nelson. It was right after my mom died and I was struggling. I needed to know it was natural to feel all the feelings I was feeling.  He spoke about it here and you can watch it: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1992/04/doors-of-death?lang=eng 

He said "Irrespective of age, we MOURN for those love and lost. MOURNING is the one of the DEEPEST expressions of pure love."

I wanted to share the latest on what my husband is enduring and our family. He expressed his wishes yesterday that it was time to share what is going on. The plan is for him to leave the hospital this Monday. Then he will be having hospice care at our home. We now know that this is God's plan and will and we are praying as a family for him to be out of pain.

When the doctors told us that this disease is winning, they mentioned Ty would need hospice care. After many tears, Ty called his sister who is a hospice nurse and asked Leann if she would and could be his nurse. As you can imagine, this is a tender mercy. I sat by Tyler as he called his sister. He had tears flowing as he told her that he was dying and would she be his hospice nurse. I can't imagine how hard this is for his "big sister" to do this for him and for us. 

Many tender tears are flowing as I see what she is doing for her "little brother." I am sure she never thought that she would be caring for her brother as he died. I know God is mindful of us in this time of need. As my heart is breaking, I can't help but think of my mother in law Carol. She moved in with us, and did everything she could to help us. I know she is grieving and this is her "son". I want her here now and join me as we take care of Tyler. I am so grateful she has been here. A mother losing a child is never easy and my heart is heavy for her and our children. In my darkest hours I remind myself to be grateful for Tyler. I must be grateful that God blessed me with him for 19 amazing years. I must be grateful for our family. I love each of you. I thank you for supporting me and our family right now. I hope I can share my story in hopes that you will see "your own story and life" and cherish every moment of it. I never thought I would be facing this. I never thought when I married Ty that he would be dying of cancer. I realize and am so grateful for the best husband and father. I am fortunate that I have taken photos and made memories that I hope will help me and the family in this sad journey. 





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185 comments:

Theresa said...

I am so sad for you and your family. I will continue to pray for Ty and hope that his suffering ends. I will continue to pray for you and your family that you will find comfort and peace at this time.

Kathy Jo said...

I am so sorry. Please know that you and Ty and all of your family are in my prayers. For Peace. For Hope. For love everlasting. You are so strong. May Heavenly Father always comfort all of you.

kat-in-texas said...

Thanking God for Ty's life and the wonderful husband and father he is to you and your family. I will continue to lift up your family in prayer to the One who can comfort you with His peace and give you hope for a future. My heart is heavy for you, T. You are loved. <3

Andrea Cosier said...

Imagine stepping ashore and finding it Heaven, of touching a hand and finding it's God's, of breathing new air and finding it Celestial, of waking up and finding it Home xo

Anonymous said...

Teresa, praying for you all during this difficult time.
AnnK

Margie H said...

Teresa, just want to wrap my love and admiration around you and your family right now...
I continue to think of you all and pray for strength...peace...hope. Much love to you xo

Yvonne said...

Love you. So sorry you and your family are facing this. My heart is breaking for you and the whole family. love you and praying for comfort. Praying for the boys and all the kids. Kenny said to please give little Ty a hug and tell him and Zach he is sorry they are facing this but to always remember the time they had and have with their dad will help pull them through. He has taught them well. xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Teresa, my heart hurts for Ty you your kids and family. I am praying for Gods love to pour out on you all. with my warmest regards and heartfelt words Denise Dominguez

Kimberly said...

It's so hard to let go of those we love. You are much stronger than you know and Ty is proud of you and all you've done to comfort and care for him. Even with faith we hurt so deep as our love is undying and never ends. Sending you Ty and family prayers to comfort your during the difficult days that are ahead.

Anelsie said...

My sweet friend Teresa, I'm so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I just lost my hero, my dad unexpectedly 5 days ago and my heart is so sad. I can relate to what you are going through right now and I just want to give you a big hug. Remembering all the amazing moments we spent together, all the love, all the memories and the tons of photos of my beloved dad helps me to keep going. Thanks for sharing your story. I am praying for you and your family. Stay stong. Love you!

Tracey said...

I have no words. Just sending my thoughts and strength. My family just went through and is continuing through a similar journey. We lost my Mom to pancreatic cancer one month ago. It hurts. It's hard. Every day. But like you, I take comfort in my family and together we will lean on each other and get through this. Lean on your family. And love them. It is the legacy you and Tyler built together. Treasure it.

Shannon R said...

I am so very sorry. I am glad that you and your family have so many wonderful memories to take with you. Thank you for sharing your heart and thank you for reminding us to be grateful for what we have. I know you will always treasure the time you have had with Tyler and you will be with him again one day. Hugs to you during this very difficult time. Please take care of yourself!

Audrey said...

May God wrap you all in His loving arms and give you His perfect peace. Praying that in God's plan, Ty's pain and suffering will be eased. Holding you and your family up in prayer for the days and weeks ahead!

Debbie H said...

I'm so sorry Teresa and Ty and family. I am grateful for the knowledge of life after this life. Heavenly Father is watching over you all. My love to you. Call me anytime, I am happy to help in any way I can. ~Debbie Hill

Glenda said...

Wishing you love and strength at this difficult time. xx

JPScraps said...

I am so sorry. I've been praying for Ty and your family......

KAT said...

I don't know what to say except you are a courageous woman! May Ty's love, your family and faith help you through this...

Anonymous said...

Prayers and hugs for your family.

Laura Turcotte said...

I am so sorry ! Sorry for so many things. My heart aches for you and your family. You are a strong person, and I commend you for that---that is such a hard thing to do. I am praying...you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.....{{HUGS}}}

Kelly Massman said...

so sorry you are going through this; just bought one of your paperpacks-and will be thinking of you as i scrap and probably crying; but glad to be preserving memories--you have done so, too, and will be able to look back on your scrapping when you are ready!!! best wishes and prayers

Jean said...

I am so sorry for you and your family. it makes my heart break to read this. Please know we are with you too.

Anonymous said...

Praying and sending hugs! So so sorry!!!

Kirsten Juenke said...

Oh my dear girl. I am so, so sorry. Once upon a time, we lost a friend, who was to be our best man at our wedding. A story of a death of one too young. And a wise priest comforted me by telling me God did not plan for all of this to happen, accidents happen, and people get sick, young and old. And when God sees there will only be suffering and no more healing, and the pain is too much, he then chooses to bring them Home. I only wish I'd come to see you here in Monroe at the Ben Franklin to just give you a real hug in person. Please feel our love and prayers.

Lisa said...

Much love and prayers of peace during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your passion, your family, your love, your gratitude. Teaching each one of us to appreciate our lives, our story.
You have brought so much joy in my life with your art. It lifts my spirit.

Mary Sara P. said...

What a beautiful and moving post. I've never met you, but please know that my heart is breaking for you and I understand what cancer does to a family. May you be surrounded by those who love you and can help you through this. Sending you light and peace, prayers and love.

Dondi Murdock said...

I was 37 when I moved my mother home with me from out of state so she could die in our home with no tubes and as naturally as possible--her wish. I had 4 young children. It was immensely painful and so beautiful at the same time. Now it has been 30 years since that time and I would not change one detail of that ordeal. Those last few days are so precious to me and my family. Yes, painful, but still so full of complete love. We lived each minute with full intent.

I grieve with you and your family now. I understand at least part of your pain. I know many tender mercies will come to you. You will be able to endure this pain or Heavenly Father would not allow it to happen. He will never give you more than you can bear. Just breathe one breath at a time. Fill your lungs with air, exhale and do it again. Hug your children. Fake a smile if you can at the worst moments. Just keep going. Laugh at the joy of the past.

Again, I am so grateful for all you have shared with all of us. You have been so amazing. YOU are a strong woman of faith. There should be a Book of Teresa written some day so that all may learn of your wonderful strength and courage.

Anonymous said...

Oh-my heart is breaking for you and your family. I have only started following you this past year-only to realize what a truly strong woman you are.It is just so hard to imagine the loss of Tyler for you and your family-but know that your family out here is also praying and loving on you all too. Praying for peace. sherry107

Nurse Nancy said...

All I can offer are constant prayers for you & Ty & your entire family...for peace and comfort at this most difficult yet very sacred time when you are all being held in Heavenly Fathers hands. Getting Ty back to you home for his final days/weeks will be meaningful for all as he transitions back to his home in heaven. Love to all of you and may many more tender mercies be given in this time

Tammy said...

Dearest Teresa,
I have never had the pleasure of meeting you, but I feel like I know you. You have brought such beauty to my life and my memories that I feel you are a part of my life. It is so hard to believe that such a beautiful soul has to go through so much pain. I still have not made it through this entire post, but I will. It breaks my heart for you and your husband and your family to have to go through this. Ty is very lucky to have all of you. About 2 years ago, I went through this with my brother-in-law, Paul. We had already lost my sister 4 years before. Paul was always a big, strong man and was a father figure to me. When cancer hit, it just took him out. Watching him die was the worst thing that I have ever witnessed. I am sure my experience pales to what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this stressful time of your life. With love.

tndj said...

Praying for Ty, you and your family. Sad what you are going through. Went
through this with my Grandpa and as the time got closer - he was more and more
at peace. It was such a sacred time - he told us that he could see my uncle who
has passed many years before and he was waiting for him. He just smiled and
was so at peace.

theresa said...

Dearest Teresa... I have followed you for several years and I feel like this is my family you are talking about. I'm sure many out in "teresa land" are feeling the same way. And now at the toughest, hardest part you are still letting us in to share. Your and Ty's example of faith, hope and love is reaching many people and I'm sure people are coming to know God better because of it. Please tell him that. I am praying for strength for you and your family.And sending much love and hugs and tears to you. You and Ty are an inspiration to us all. This verse helps us when my mom passed away. I pray it brings you peace as well. Peace I leave with you; "My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid: John 14:27

april vance said...

Teresa and Ty, my heart is breaking. I loved getting to know both of you at the baseball field. You are the cutest forever family!!!! Just know there are alot of people praying for your family at this time. love ya

Janice Jung said...

Teresa, My love and prayers go out to you , Tyler and your sweet family as you face this unimaginable time. It is so hard to face but with your faith in God you will find strength.

Ms. Lucie said...

Teresa, just joining in with the hundreds who are fervently believing for miracles for you and TY, and continually praying for you through this incredibly difficult journey. (((((tight hugs)))))

Jen LoSchiavo said...

My heart breaks for you. I went through this with my dad. You are completely right that we will be together again. Many prayers of comfort for you and your family. <3

Nancey Thomson said...

I have walked in your shoes. I know what you are going through and more that you will go through. It's OK to cry. My prayers are with you.

Lisa said...

Sending love, prayers, peace and grace.

cathy< jt said...

My heart hurts so bad for you !! Praying for our Lord to wrap His Loving Arms around you and comfort you ..

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry, Theresa. God is watching over you all right now.

Аня said...

so very sorry.... i can't find enough words. may God love be with you

Emma Sacchetti said...

Dear Teresa,
There are no words to express how honored I am to know you.
I pray that God continues to strengthen you and give you both peace. Thank you for sharing your life with us. John 14:16 - 14:17
We are praying for your family
Emma & Tony Sacchetti

Scrappin' Diva said...

Teresa, my heart is breaking for you and your family but you are strong. I am sending all my love and prayers to you, Tyler and your family during this difficult time.

kay(texfolkart) said...

I know how hard this is...I just went through it with my husband of 43 years...my thoughts and prayers go out to you

Stacey Michaud said...

Teresa....I have had the honor of getting to know you over the years. I know how important your family and husband are to you, how in love you are. I am praying for all of you as you take this journey. You are the sweetest, most positive person and I believe that will help you through this. Many prayers...

brenda said...

I am so sad that you are going through this, sending prayers to you and your family!

hotpotato said...

Thank you for sharing this with us, I did think that your last post gave a hint that the end was near although the beginning for Ty. Hospice at home will be the last loving thing you can do as a family for Ty, you need to reassure him that he can let go and he has nothing to feel quilty about. His sister will give him the best care possible and his passing should be painful and peaceful for him. Being at home with a loving family around him will help Ty. My heart goes out to you. xx

Scrap Addicts said...

Lifting you and your family in prayer. May God's loving presence surround you and carry you through the hard days ahead.

Laura Mccollough said...

You and Ty are in our hearts and prayers. We love both of you and are so thankful we were able to have such a great time with both of you in Italy. We will remember and treasure that time forever with you two. Praying, praying, praying… <3

Ana said...

There are no words that anyone can say to ease your pain, I know what it is to care for someone with cancer. I had always prayed that when my mom ever pass away I would be there by her side. She was diagnosed with cancer and God grant me my prayer 10 years ago on Christmas Eve on my father's 80 birthday, my mom passed away while I was holding her hand letting her know that it was ok to let go, that we will be fine. The doctors had said that cancer is painful but my mom never took any medicine for the pain, she wasn't hooked up to any machine, I believe she offered her pain at the feet of Jesus Christ and he must have eased her pain. It is painful to see someone you love take their last breath but at the same time God fills you with strength and a sense of peace because they have gone to a better place. May God fill you and your family with peace and strength on this difficult time, my prayers are with you and your family.

Cindy Steenblik said...

I am so very sorry for you. I cannot imagine the depth of sorrow you must feel. Thank goodness for the restored Gospel. May you and your children be filled with heavenly comfort. I will pray for you and yours.

Jocelyn said...

I also am so very sad and sorry to read your post!!!! How do we walk this path, with dignity and love as you and Ty are showing us! Please know that I keep you and your family in continued prayers! You are loved by so many!

Anonymous said...

My heart hurts reading this. Praying for God's arms to uphold you and your family during this time. A friend went through a similar experience with her husband's brain cancer. She blogged about it here (finding out - after) http://youngchristianwidow.blogspot.com/ She also lists resources she used with her kids.

Create Arte said...

Dearest Teresa,
I am truly so very sorry. I continue to pray as often a possible for you/yours. We've spoken a few times via email about our boys and baseball and you've always been so kind and thoughtful. I just spoke to my son about what has happened, and we both cried and prayed. You are truly loved by so many! You are truly a courageous woman. May God continue to give you the strength and fortitude to be a pillar for your family. I've taken to heart your words about taking more pictures and sharing my story. I pray that our paths will one day cross so that I may give you a HUGE hug. Dios te Bendiga(God bless you)

Kerri said...

Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking but real journey with us. You are an inspiration to me and all those around you!! Sending you and your family many hugs of comfort.....

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry and sad. I lost 65 year old mom last year. Saying goodbye was the hardest thing. Faith and prayers help us. Just wanna say that mayGod Almighty help you and you are in the prayers of a total stranger from Turkey

Madalena Pina said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. You're in my prayers from across the ocean.

Anonymous said...

This is so heartbreaking to read, having met you and your lovely family many years ago at CHA I always looked forward to catching up with you all on many subsequent years in Anaheim. I have been following your blog and fb updates hoping upon hope that Ty would recover, I feel so dreadfully sad for you all. There are no more words to say right now, thinking of you all at this terrible time - I hope Ty is as comfortable as he can be and I know he will be surrounded by his loving family xxx Lyn Craft Emporium UK

Kaneka Chhim said...

I'm so sorry Teresa, heartbreaking to read this and I"m crying too. Sending you and your entire family loving and healing thoughts.

Lori Apgar said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!! (((HUGS)))

Nancy D. said...

My heart is breaking for you all as I sit here with tears in my eyes reading....so glad for your strong faith & knowledge in God he will be your rock....my love & prayers are with you. I've had the great pleasure of meeting you at several CHA's & other events

Amy Wada said...

Thank you for sharing your life with us Teresa. I am so deeply sorry Tyler, you and your families are going thru this. I could feel the amazing love you and Tyler share for each other and your children. I will be thinking of you all often and praying you find strength and peace and sending hugs of love and support.

Mary said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Norma Pechir-Holland said...

I know exactly what you are feeling now, The only thing that I can tell you is that I learned that for me love, means that I prefer to suffer for your absence than see you suffer and not been able to help you. God bless you and your family. A big hug for you.

Gloria Stengel said...

I have nothing to offer except my prayers for you, your children, your extended family, and your husband. May you gain the strength you need during this time.

Amélie said...

All my thoughts are with you and your family and send you all my prayers...♥♥♥

DebC said...

I am sitting at my desk and tears are flowing down my face. I know I do not know you personally but I feel the sorrow you are facing and it makes me cry. I am so sad for you and your family and most of all your husband who wants to continue to fight and live life and has been told something nobody would want to be told. All I can say is what you probably hear on a daily basis, see written here multiple times is that I am praying for you and your family. We have all seen your pain and we pray for you to have the strength you need for you and your family. Bless you all
Deb

Teresa said...

I like so many others write this as tears are flowing. Later, you will read these as God seeks to send you peace and comfort thru angels. What a testament and legacy of your love for each other and Ty's for you and his family. Such a role model for all of you. And such a role model to all of us as to true faith. Prayers and hugs for you as you travel this path. . I have been there . . Love Teresa in MS

Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking for you and your family right now. I think you two met 19 years ago because God knew you would tell Ty's story the best! Your children & grandchildren will remember & get to know him through your stories & photos. I will pray for you & all of your family. XOXO

Mary Gillmarten said...

Teresa, I'm sure you've at least heard of Brene Brown and her book "Daring Greatly." She writes about the courage of Daring Greatly to share our vulnerabilities, which you are doing in great ways. With so many others I will continue to pray for you and Ty and your families; Ty's mother, your boys -- you are so right about them being at a very vulnerable age to lose their father - may God give you all the strength, the courage, and the faith to surrender to His will, to let go and let God. There are those days when I find comfort in the words of Mother Theresa -- "I know God won't give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much." XO, Mary

Melody said...

I am so sorry Teresa. Thinking and praying for you and your family in this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

I cannot find the words to describe any better then the dozens of others already have, as to how sad I am that you and your family are going through this. It is truly heart-wrenching and the only spark of light I can reflect on is the utter and complete love that shines through your words - that you had such an amazing love & life together. May those memories give you strength to see you through the tough times ahead.

Anonymous said...

Oh Teresa I am so sorry that Ty's journey on this earth with you is coming to an end. I have no doubt that you have great love for each other and that this love will be a great comfort to you both. So eventhough I have never met either of you in person I feel like I know you because of this blog and your courage to let us into your life. It is not a blog full of fluff but one full of real life and all that it brings. From watching your children choose their partners, hearing of the birth of a grandchild to saying goodbye to your best friend you have taken us on this journey with you and I for one am so forever greatful. You have taught me so many lessons about true courage and faith, thank you for that. Sending much love from my family here in Canada to you, Ty and your children and praying that you all find peace and comfort in this difficult time.

Linda Schaaf

Gina said...

Teresa...the tears are streaming down my face....I know how difficult this must be for you, Ty and your family. I know that God has plans that we can never question, we only know that they are for a greater good. We also know that God will guide us through any situation we have to face and combined with love of family and friends you will make it through. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. I love ya Teresa

hugs
gina gina gina

CA Scrapper said...

I cannot express how sorry I am. You have been open and honest about your husbands cancer and what is happening. Thank you for sharing your life with us. God bless all of you during this very difficult time. I have lost friends and both my parents to cancer so I know how hard it is on everyone. You have been so strong for Ty an your whole family. Remember to take care of yourself too. Cherish every moment with Ty and keep all your beautiful memories in your heart until you are together again.

Hugs,
Leslie

lost coast scrapper said...

Teresa, I'm so sorry for you and your loved ones during this sad time. I've seen what a beautiful and loving family you have and I' praying for you all during this difficult time. We all love you and have been by your side in spirit..Blessings to you all

Karen Zueger

Scrapbooking and Stamping with Michelle said...

I am so sorry and my heart aches for you. My prayers are with you, Ty and your family.

Much love and God bless.
Michelle Coleman

Gabe and Libby said...

Sending prayers of comfort for you, your husband, and all who love him.

Vicki robertson said...

Hugs and prayers for all of you. May you find peace in knowing that there is so much love present and surrounding Ty and all of you during this sad time.

Christina Betts said...

My heart aches for you Teresa :( All I can give you is my love and prayers and know that so many many people are holding you and the family up in prayers. We love you ♥

Christina Betts
BC, Canada

Céline said...

So sorry to hear this, wishing you strenght in this difficult time now and the time to come.

Chere said...

Teresa, I lost my Dad last Jan. All of my life he never said good-bye to me but see you later. The last time I saw him, as I was holding his hand, I said "I will not say good-by but see you soon". He was so correct in the fact that he lives on in all of our lives. My Mother and I talk about him often. It is hard and we miss his physical being but his spirit lives in us. Ty will never leave you. He will always live in your heart and soul. You will see him again in heaven. My love and prayers are with you, Ty and your family. Ty will be with our Father who loves him more than any of us. Be strong and hold on to your faith. It was a joy to get to know Ty and your on a cruise and you in classes.

gela said...

I am crying with you as I read this. So sorry. I know you are not Catholic. I find that many faiths are more similar than different. Here is a prayer:

Prayer to Saint Peregrine
For One Suffering from Cancer

Dear Saint Peregrine, I need your help,
I feel so uncertain of my life right now.
This serious illness makes me long
For a sign of God’s love.
Help me to imitate your enduring faith
When you faced the ugliness of cancer
And surgery.
Allow me to trust the Lord
The way you did
In this moment of distress.
I want to be cured,
But right now I ask God
For the strength to bear the cross
In my life.
I seek the power to proclaim
God’s presence in my life
Despite the hardship, anguish, and fear
I now experience.
O glorious Saint Peregrine,
Be an inspiration to me and petitioner
Of those needed graces
From our loving Father.
Amen
Cancer is limited
It cannot cripple love,
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith,
It cannot eat away peace,
It cannot destroy confidence,
It cannot shut out memories,
It cannot silence courage,
It cannot invade the sour,
It cannot reduce eternal life,
It cannot quench the spirit,
It cannot lessen the power of the resurrection.

God Bless

TraciA said...

With all of my heart, I am sending you, your husband and family many prayers of comfort at this time. I am so very sorry that this is happening. I have no words. One of my favorite quotes is by Bruce Lee: "The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering." It sounds like you and your husband have done just that and I pray you always have comfort and peace.

Better Scrapbooking Ltd said...

I cannot help but be in tears as I read your post today. My heart is breaking with you. As mentioned by so many, you and your family are being uplifted in prayer and will continue to do so through this sad sad time. I hope your family will be altogether soon. You have a very special man and it is wonderful to hear how much he loves you and the family. Thank you for have the courage to share this time with us. You are so beautiful and so is your family.
Love, hugs and prayers <3

scrappysue said...

sending love from new zealand teresa. i'm good friends with mandy blake whom you met recently at lisa's. we're with you in spirit and are holding you close in our thoughts.

mari.g said...

I wish there was something I could say or do to make this all better for you. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.

Shelly said...

As I read this my heart is hurting for you. Praying for strength and peace for you and your family.

Sara Andrews said...

I have no other words than to say I am praying for you all.

Missy said...

Prayers from Tennessee. Each day please know there are people from around the world praying for your entire family!

Tammy said...

Teresa its so hard to go through any end of life journey, but I can't even imagine the sadness you are feeling losing your "best friend". My prayers for a wonderful journey go out to Ty and to you, prayers of peace and healing. Know there are hundreds if not thousands of people here for your to pour your soul out to, but when it comes down to it, take the time for yourself, alone! Hugs to you and may the Lord be with you and your husband through the end of this very long journey. I also pray that you lay your head on the shoulder of your friends and rest, knowing you are loved.

Izzy Anderson said...

It is so hard to read your post and yet it is so unbelievably raw and beautiful. You are so brave. Tyler is lucky to have you. You are doing all the right things. Thank you for sharing your journey, your faith. It is amazing and humbling to witness. Wishing you love, strength and grace. Big hugs!

Anonymous said...

Thinkin of you all
love tracey mac x x x x your faith is amazing your all so special x x

Sarah said...

Love you, praying for you.

Cheri Piles said...

I love you!!!!! Our thoughts and prayers continue for you, Ty, your family and all those that are able to be with you, help you and comfort you all through this journey. ♡♡♡

Ildiko Miskell said...

Sending prayers for you and your family.

Denise Spicer-boyes said...

Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and your beautiful family as you go through this difficult transition. And it is just that, a transition. Ty will be with you forever, your love for each other will never die. I feel so privileged that you have shared this most intimate part of your journey and my heart goes out to you all. Big hugs Teresa.

Trina said...

Teresa and family, what words suffice in your time of goodbyes and grief? I'm sorry, I wish this wasn't happening to you doesn't seem enough for what you are going through. My thoughts are with you all as you travel a journey you wish you weren't. Hugs from NZ.

IslandV said...

Teresa I have no words as I read this post...just tears in my eyes for your family and deep admiration for how strong and positive you all are being and have been during this painful journey! My prayers go out to Ty and you all and know that you have many fans and friends praying for your family. You all shall weather this storm! Remember God doesn't give you more than you can bear....and God has said did you think I would not test you with trials? All this brings you closer to HIM...and remember this life is just a moment in time...the goal is the hereafter which is everlasting...where we will be reunited with loved ones for eternity. Stay strong my friend! Sending tight warm hugs and love your way!

Anonymous said...

I am so deeply deeply sorry for your husband, you and your wonderful family. This horrible disease still takes so many lives regardless of age, faith, hope or the best in medical care. It truly breaks my heart to hear what you are going through....but I thank you so much that in your time of such great sorrow and sadness you still think of others and share your heart and soul, you are helping so many people........ and in the most powerful way you remind us to cherish every moment. I am thankful for the great faith you and your family share...HE will carry you through..HE will lift you up!

Krista said...

Thank you for sharing your heart wrenching journey. Prayers and God's Blessings to you. I've lost my husband at a young age as well. Stay strong and continue to lean on God for comfort!

Kristen M said...

Teresa, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Wendy S. said...

You and Ty and your entire family are stronger and braver than you may ever realize. Praying hard for all of you. Sending you all love, peace & strength.

KathyGielow said...

There are no words. I have lived this. 5 years ago today my husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma brainy cancer. He died in 10 weeks. I still mourn but we both have had a very strong faith and I feel my husband with me every moment. I share your grief and wish none of you were living this grief. You are doing everything right and savoring every moment together. God doesn't make mistakes. That is what I know for sure. I was married to my husband for 36 1/2 years before he died. God blessed me with the greatest gift and I still thank Him every single day. I will pray for all of you and for the strength and grace you already have to continue. Sending you huge hugs and much love.

BethW said...

My heart and prayers are with your and yours always.

Misty said...

My thoughts and prayers for you and yours. I laid in bed with my 3 year old son as he fought his last his battle with cancer since his birth & told him it was OK that he goes 'home". After I said that he went home to Jesus. The pain was gone for him. I pray one day you will find comfort in letting him go to Jesus.

Jennyjo88 said...

Teresa there are no words that can help you, but I am sure you know how much you are admired for your strength, courage and faith. Prayers are being said for you, Ty and your entire family that God takes away Ty's pain and eases your hearts and souls. So sorry.

Jean Bullock said...

I have no words. I can only pray for all of you and ask the Lord to send you comfort.

Lizzie Sanchez said...

Many hugs to you and your family Teresa all the way from Texas.

LauraL said...

My heart aches for all of you. Please know that Ty, you and your family are in my prayers.

Robin/ alarmrx2/ RMR said...

Teresa- please thank Ty for letting you share this journey with us. My heart breaks for all of your family, your MIL, SIL, children, pets if you have any, & especially for Ty & you. Please know there are prayers being said around the world for Ty & your family. The days ahead of you will be hard, but your faith will get you through it. <3

Luann Ostrom said...

Prayers for peace for you, Ty, your children, and all family/friends. Please take comfort that he will be restored and pain free. Much love.

Astrid Zwaan said...

This is so heartbreaking to read, I have no words,
my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

brjenka said...

Oh Theresa my heart is breaking for you and your family during this most difficult time. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and know you will be with him again... <3 <3 <3

Michelle said...

Oh Teresa, I am so so very sorry. My heart is breaking right now for you, for Ty, for your kids, for his family. Many, many hugs to you. <3

Kristina W. said...

Prayers to you and your family. May you find comfort in God's love.

Stephanie said...

This was so heartbreaking to read Teresa. I remember the shock and grief that hit my family when we were told my father wasn't going to win his battle against cancer. Praying for you and your family during this trial. Know that the Lord walks with you and will carry you through when you are overwhelmed and feeling weary. xx

Philippa said...

My gorgeous Teresa honey, I hoped never to have to read this post. My heart and soul go out to you and your lovely family now and always. Thank you and Ty so much for sharing this. Your words have made such a difference to the way I look at my life. Every second of every day is so precious with the ones we love. I hope to be able to get my husband to look at things that way too, instead of always ''wishing for something better, or something he doesn't have''. Life is SO SO short, every day is a gift. I love that you are sharing such beautiful moments with Ty right now. I also know without a doubt that you are making the end of Ty's journey incredibly beautiful just by being the incredible woman you are. I love you honey.. thinking of you all every minute. xxxx

tlw111 said...

Teresa, I am so sorry. Cecil and I have you, Ty and your family in our thoughts and prayers. Sending all of our love, Theresa White

Jennifer said...

I have no words but wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. With love and hope.

Denverkat276 said...

Oh Teresa, I'm so sorry for you and your family. I know how Ty feels that he's just not done here yet. God bless his heart. You are so wonderful, you and your family, showering him with all the love you all have for him. I know that you'll treasure each second that you have. You keep being strong sista!! It is because of Ty that you and the entire family is so very strong. Know that there is a world out here that love you, support you all. We all pray for you and think of you. Hugs to his mother and sister. It's hard losing a sibling, but I can't imagine losing a child before me.

Ty, well, he's getting himself ready to walk a different path and be with those that paved the way for him, then..... He'll be waiting and watching out for you all.

I know you will, but my heart always says. Keep the faith. (((((HUGS)))) to you, but a big one for Ty. God bless to you all.

Anonymous said...

May God wrap his loving arms around you,your husband and family.Sending love and hugs to you and your family.Jeanne Shipman

Julia Cheang said...

Wishing you and your family love and strength in this difficult time and praying that God eases Ty's pain.

Susan said...

My heart is breaking for you, Teresa, as you deal with Tyler and the end of his life. You have expressed your feelings so beautifully I feel like I know you and your family and feel the pain you are going through. My prayers will continue daily for all of you and that God will give you all strength to endure this horrible time. Best Wishes

Darcie and Johnna said...

Oh Theresa, we are so sorry. We are even now asking for a miracle, but knowing every moment you have with Ty is still a gift. We are praying for Ty and your family at this sad time.

DeeDee said...

I have no words. But gentle hugs and full time prayers. May you find a bit of sleep and him strength ...

Marelle Jackman said...

Dear Theresa, I had the absolute pleasure meeting you a few years ago at CHA (my first visit to USA) I am praying for you and your family
Much Love
Marelle
Australia

Scrappin Cheryl said...

Teresa my heart is so heavy with what you and your family are going through. I pray for your continued strength and peace. You have told your story so bravely and throughout it all have kept your beautiful faith. God Bless you!! <3

Jill Norwood said...

Theresa my heart is with you and your entire family!! Your heartfelt words resonated with me since my son and I walked the same path when our beloved Papa Stuart went home to God 2+ years ago due to brain cancer. I pray grace and peace in your hearts and in Ty's as you go through these next days together! God Bless And keep you ALL!

Sonia said...

Dear Teresa... i have no words. I am so sorry.
My thoghts and prayers to you and your family. Blessings
>Hugs<
Sonia "Sony"
Puerto Rico

Courtney Walsh said...

So so sorry to read this, Teresa. We are praying for you and keeping HOPE for a miracle for you, Ty and your whole family. <3

Vanessa McKelvey-Smith said...

Praying for your miracle, praying for everyone. Praying and sending you much love!

Jean Dolan said...

Teresa it is with a heavy heart I read this. May God wrao his arms around you in this time of need. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all x x

Siobhan Burtlow said...

My heart and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for sharing your journey with us ~ Much Love to you!

Anonymous said...

I think your strength is amazing. God Bless You.

Pieces of me said...

As I read your post my heart just broke for you and your family. I wish that I had words that could bring you comfort but I don't. But I know that our heavenly Father can. I pray that you and your family find the comfort and solace that only the Lord can bring.
God bless you and your family!
Rose

Muh said...

I am so sorry for you, Ty and family. Your faith will help you in the days ahead. It is so sweet of Ty's sister to come take of him and yall too. You will be in my bought and prayers in the days ahead. Thank you for again for sharing your life and difficult family times with us. Blessings to yall.

ladyrafols said...

I am so sorry. I have words, just playing for strength and peace for you and your family. L Rafols

Lisa Scott said...

So thankful that you and Ty know our heavenly father and have Christ in your life. My deepest thoughts and prayers are with you Teresa. Keep the faith.

Belinda Wiggins said...

My heart goes out to all of you! So thankful that you all know the Lord will see each other again one day.

Sandi said...

I have no words that could comfort you as you travel this path with your husband. Be strong and savor each moment.....take comfort in your faith. I will be praying for all of you.

Anita Houston said...

My prayers are with you. So deeply sorry.

Traci B said...

I'm just so sorry. I can't imagine. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Debbie said...

Thank God you have that time to say goodbye. Your faith in the Good LORD, will carry you. I will continue to pray for you and your family.

Debbie

Lola said...

I'm so sorry Teresa. Sending many prayers and hugs to you and the whole family.

Linda said...

Teresa you and Ty have both fought so hard - I am so sorry that Ty will be taken from you. I can't begin to imagine your sadness. I pray your family and friends will help you get through this devastating time and give you strength to carry on.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry to hear this news, please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I have lost my mom and mother in law this year within 3 months of each other. It just stinks. Our faith in God has carried us thru these last few months. I believe we will see them again in Heaven. Sending hugs and love and prayers to you.

Marilyn C.

scrapcreator said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Adrenalina said...

It is so sad to hear about your husband.. God Bless you and your family. XOXOXO
Magda Cortez

arlsmom aka Lynda said...

Holding your family in my thoughts....peace be with you!

zuzia620 said...

Words cannot describe my dipest sadness for you and your family ;((( following you and your journey with your husband whom you love so much and seeing him wanting to beet his horrible sickness and loosing .may your heart find peace and your family bring you strength while you all go through the most difficult time anyone can imagine . With broken heart your biggest fan Agnieszka

JanetDee said...

So sorry. These moments with your husband will be precious ones and will help you heal. There is something about holding your loved ones as they pass that gives you comfort and strength in the future. Bless you and your family as you trade this journey. Prayers for strength, courage, and perseverance during this time.

Kelly said...

So incredibly sorry - so few words at this time of grief for you and your family. Our very deep sympathies to you all . xx

Anonymous said...

Teresa, as we are thinking about you and your family and all of our memories of Ty, words can't express our sorrow. Ty, or as we know him 'Doc', will always be in our thoughts. We will always remember him when we play baseball, and will always wish he was with us at the tournaments. He was a wonderful uplifting person and while we will miss his physical presence, we will always remember the wonderful memories and laughter he brought to life. We love you, and want you to know how much we are here for you. Love always, Jeff, Michele, Abby, and Matt Smith.

Dee Fisher said...

So terribly sorry that your family is grieving so. Losing your mate is so sad to accept. I know Ty is with our Father and his body is healed. I pray for healing for your children and you.

susan coleman said...

Hi Teresa I am an R.N. In my career as a nurse I have witnessed gods mercy , miracles and kindness and all I can tell you and your family is to BELIEVE , for he is lord . He will comfort you all and he's always with you just remember that you are blessed. Good bless you

Karen said...

So sorry that this is happening. Will keep your family in prayer.

Anonymous said...

So sad to read that. Will pray for miracle. Hugs for all of you. You're not alone. Share your feelings if you want to, if it helps you. Thanks for every post you shared with us, it's slways inspiring. Never give up. Love

Sharm Nidyanandan said...

Dear Teresa, as i read your post i felt tears in my eyes.. My heart goes out to you and your family in this difficult time.. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.. Xoxo

Tracy said...

Your words are so beautiful for your love of each other and those surrounding you...sending much love and strength to you all...♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

LindaW said...

My heart and prayers go out to you and our family. When I lost my son I just went thru the motions of life, but as I each day goes by it is simply is one more day I know we will be together again. God said that we all will be together again. And I strongly believe in the Lord. God bless you and your family. Maile Lei

Mieke said...

Thank you for sharing your sad but beautiful story, my heart goes out to you and your family. He will always be with you and your loved ones in spirit.

Theresa Richard said...

Prayers and tears for you and yours, so very very sorry for your loss....

Francine said...

Theresa, PLEASE, have you searched for alternative treatments? There are ALOT, some is trash, but others are really helpful. Try everything you can, I've seen miracles happen... I know It's hard, my husband had cancer and went through a transplant, he's great now, but during all the treatment we did alot of research and found that you don't always have to believe when the docs say it's the end. I have a friend that his father was sentenced to death by the docs, they said he had a few months and now he's been alive for years... I may be saying shit cos I don't know the type of cancer of your husband, don't know if he had metastasized in a very bad way, anyway... Don't be fooled by hope, but don't give up either. I know It's hard but try to keep your feet on the ground and fight! I'm from Brazil and sending all my love to you and your family. I know you don't know me but if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Blessings to you and your family!

Donna said...

Continued prayers for you and your family. As one who has lost a husband, my heart aches for you.

Shirel Catherine said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family. Prayers from Switzerland, you're not alone. Be strong ...

crab said...


“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.”
My prayers and thoughts are with you at this time

famillemarleau said...

I'm so sad to ear that. You'll all be in my prayers. Johanne Lacombe

Rhonda Van Ginkel said...

Praying on you and your entire family. There are no words, just praying God wraps his loving arms around you all.

pickles99 said...

Precious, precious girl you are so loved as is your darling husband and children The Lord is faithful and His love endures forever. Through prayer the many of us in blogland accompany you during this time.

thestampingbug said...

So terribly sad to read Tyler has gone Home. Praying that the beautiful memories you created together here on earth will comfort and sustain you until you meet again. God's blessings to you and your loving family during this difficult family transition.

Freddie said...

Sweet girl and kids,
I ony read this post after knowing Ty went Home.
I had procrastinated for days reading the blog or commenting anywhere. To be specific since the babypost. I was afraid of voicing a belief I have since I saw it happen so often. When one leaves one comes into this world. For every loved one you lose you get one more. So since you posted Gentry´s having a wee one I was scared of reading about Tyler getting even worse. Now I hope the thought of the Baby will console you the slightest bit in your grief. Nothing and Noone will ever be able to give you back what you had with Tyler, noone will ever take his place. But Nothing and Noone will EVER be able to take away your memories and the history you created with him ad the Love you shared. Only that can sustain you and it will. Love you from afar!

ArteDar said...

I'm sending loving Angels to your sides. I can tell you from my own experience when I lied in my beloved husband bed and watched him pass that LOVE NEVER DIES. He did not want to leave me and moved significant items in my bedroom to let me know he was still with me. I talked to him continually and tried to make him understand that I'll be okay....and would tell him it's time to rest...go to heaven. He's at peace now, and even so, I still feel him....I hope this can comfort you in some way....LOVE NEVER DIES. God bless us all. Tell your husband now that you and the family will be okay without his physical presence and know his spirit and love will always be with you. GOD BLESS

BettyMae said...

Sweet Teresa, I was in your class at Monroe, WA and I was so amazed at how you encouraged us even in the midst of your own trials. You gave us a few precious hours away from our own trials to laugh and enjoy crafting with you!! Just know that you are loved by many as is your family. We grieve with you dear friend. I hope you will feel our hugs and prayers holding you up through this time. Our Heavenly Father will walk with you on this journey as you say "see you later" to Ty. You are so right, this is not the end!!! Blessings and peace to you all, dear one.

Debbie and Karrin, scrappin sisters said...

I am so sad for you and your family. You are so strong and have a great faith. I wish I could have met Tyler, he does sound like a wonderful friend and father. I love that he supported your passion and talent. How lucky you both were to find each other, if only for this short time. Prayer and comfort to you and your family.

SharonCallisCrafts said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

our family sends prayers for the entire Collins family. Teresa has given so much to so many, we can only stand by and send words that will mean so much in the days to come. We your extended family of crafters are all thinking of you at this time. God continues to bless each and every day, and will always be there
even at this dad time Kelleyscraps

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry your family is enduring this. I lost my mother as a teenager, I know its hard to lose a parent at any age but especially as a child or teenager. Its so very hard. God loves each of us and He will be watching after your family. I am glad your ward is there for you. I hope your boys on their missions can be ok as well. You and your husband have a lot to be proud for. Keeping strong at the end of this life's journey is not easy, but having strong faith and loved ones near helps it to be an easier process. You guys are in my prayers.

Enjoli Collums said...

praying for you and your family

Anonymous said...

Prayers of comfort and peace for Ty. Hugs and prayers for you and your family during this time.

Lynda Jeffs said...

I scroll, and scroll, and scroll some more - all to see these amazing comforts of love and prayers to you and your family. I just have no words for you, "I am sorry for your loss" seems so lame... I lost my ex-husband to suicide and I know how that made me feel, I cannot imagine or comprehend what you are going through right now, but I just keep hearing "you've got this girl" in my head, so you know what - you've got this one... With everyone else's help - you've got this! I wish you well!

Anonymous said...

I am so very very sorry for your family's loss.

Wendy said...

I am so very sorry, prayers and hugs to you and your family.

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