We are so tired in the daytime it is killer. I am feeling like a walking zombie and have little energy now. We are on day 5 here and we have 7 more to go.
I am having a hard time being away from my family today. I have a hard time being away from them especially when it's this long. This is my longest trip ever. Tyler was always the one who would be home with our kids so I did not have to worry. I always worry, but there was so much comfort. It has really been hard for me to try to balance and do it on my own. I know that I never thought this would have been my reality. It is much harder than I ever thought.
I have tried so hard to go on... try to remain happy and positive and deal with Ty's death. I don't think you can ever prepare yourself ever to deal with the emotions and loss. I have to say talking about your feelings with someone is really important. I have talked and talked. I have learned that everyone deals with death differently. I have learned there is NO manual and NO timeline on how and what to feel. I have learned this is my journey and so is my children's. I visit Ty's grave still every Sunday before or after church. Sometimes my boys want to go with me, but mostly they don't. I realize that they are having their own journey too.
Mostly, I am grateful for Heavenly Father who has blessed me to feel peace. It's vital to remain thankful for life. I am so thankful for the blessing of what Tyler taught each of us. Tyler is forever a part of our family and life. Each day there are reminders and it is often hard to articulate the feelings. This is a journey I would not want ever wanted or asked for. Many of you still email me and ask how we are doing. When Tyler died last year, it changed our family forever. I know that for me personally, it has been through Heavenly Father and prayer that I have been able to get out of bed, go back to work, and somehow remain positive, thankful and feel happy again. I know many widows who I'm now friends with that I talk to often. I am so grateful for all of you. Mostly, I am thankful for those of you who are there for my kids too. They each are unique and deal with their dads passing differently.
Today I just want my kids to know that they are EVERYTHING to me. I am so proud of each of them. I am so excited for the gift of a grand baby in May. This is making me giddy. I am blessed with the best of friends that make life so wonderful.
Now I thought I would share photos from the show.
My new line- COLLECTORS EDITION- loving the beautiful gold foil with mint!!!!
She runs a LARGE online site in the Netherlands. She carries everything of mine!
So loved seeing her again. She is always SMILING. I love my German friends so much.
My friends from Como, Italy. I am definitely wanting to make it back there to visit and teach.
I definitely love seeing my stores from Spain here.
My friends from Switzerland. Thankful for their support of my product too.