Monday, April 27, 2015


My heart is seriously overflowing with emotion. Rachel Robbins Mills and her dear family hosted a farewell celebration for our family with our neighbors. It is so hard to leave everyone that I simply love so much. They have greatly impacted and influenced our lives. Their support will forever be in my heart. Thank you for loving us. We close on our new home tomorrow and have a month to actually move all out.  This is a great thing since we have almost 19 years of STUFF to go through and get packed. I know that this is not goodbye because we will always be friends. Thankfully I'm only about 15-20 minutes away in the home we are moving to.

This is Eli and Rachel. They are truly the most wonderful neighbors. They have loved us and loved our children. They will forever be our friends. A few miles distance will never impede our friendship with our dear friends and neighbors.

We are going with so much love and support. Everyone understands how hard it has been to stay at the same house. I have learned that YOU never know how life will change. This was needed for a fresh start. The boys are staying at the same school since it is only a short drive and they are both so close to graduating. 

MY girls. I have served with the YOUNG WOMEN for years and I adore these girls. I have known them from the time they were little. They have warned me that they are coming to visit me all the time. We are planning a Summer party and they are always welcome- my door is open. 

Brianny and Ashley-
WOW... my heart loves these girls. I have known them since
they were babies. I love that they wanted photos with me. Yes, they even follow me on instagram. I am so fortunate that these girls
love me. I certainly adore them!

KJ and Ty. Oh my... buddies for LIFE. They are just the funniest boys together and I KNOW that we are forever going to be "family."

This is Wendy Margetts and Tallya. When Tyler was very young, he was mad at me. It was a Sunday and I was trying to get the kids to church on time and out the door. Ty was so feisty and did not want to listen to me. He said in a cute three year old voice, "I am going to go live with Wendy Margetts, because she is nice and never gets mad." I laughed so hard and told him okay. I saw Wendy at church that day and we laughed. She fed him popsicles, let him feed her rabbit and he would walk to visit her almost EVERY day. I could NEVER keep him, McKay and Zach from going to their house. She is the neighbor EVERYONE wants. She knew Ty before he was born. She is so happy for us. She loves us and this will NEVER change.

My dear Stake President Child. Oh my... what a faithful, wonderful man. Tyler and I knew him so well. He gave me such comfort yesterday. He is so proud of me and shared his feelings with me that touched me. I was thankful that he was so supportive and encouraging me to KEEP GOING and to follow my heart. He told me that Tyler is so proud of me for not giving up, but being a strong, dedicated woman. I told him that CHANGE is so very hard, but I know that CHANGE has "refined" me and made me realize that I can face HARD things. I went from total despair to feeling that I can do this... all because of my firm belief and trust in Heavenly Father.  

My sons have been truly amazing through the last two years. They have struggled and they have grown. They have beeb hit hard by not having Tyler here. I am such a girl and their dad was so great at understanding boys. I am learning a new way to parent alone. It is a ongoing daily learning experience. It has been a day by day effort in the process. They are so strong in their faith and this has given them a perspective that has kept them happy and positive. It's amazing to see the how being faithful in tribulation can build character and purify our hearts. Though the suffering has been there... the blessings have been uncountable.  We are united and just being THANKFUL. We are so excited right now for the new baby boy that will soon be here. THIS is beyond exciting....

Today I am working from the office on videos for Canon and JoAnn and a big debut. I simply am so thankful to do what I love most. I am so fortunate and passionate about my career. It's really a family affair. I just hired McKay for the first time ever. Yes, she is coming on board. This is such a blessing to get to work with her. Taylor and Gentry are having new babies so they are not in a position to keep working with me for the time being. 

We were printing today on the PIXMA ip8720 Canon printer and literally ran out of ink. Yes, it's heavily used. Tomorrow we have to start again. This is the camera we use for project and product shots. I love my G16 for everyday usage and traveling. It's my FAVORITE because it's so lightweight. 


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Friday, April 24, 2015


This has been a big week for my family. We have celebrated Gentry's birthday, Taylor sold her house and got home from a little baby moon trip, and Zach played baseball and Ty is doing his tennis games. We have so much going on and change is always hard.  I have been working to get my home prepared for the buyers by having a general contractor come and take care of things I can't do myself. We will close on our new home next Monday. I have the BEST church ward. They are giving our family a farewell party this Sunday at our  friends home. It really has meant a lot to us. 

I have been at the office creating lots of new projects too. Yes, on the floor and no shoes on. This is how I like to create. I am headed to the NYC National Stationery Show May 17-20th and then to The Island's Creative Escape May30th- SATURDAY- 2 workshops... one day only!!!!!

I am working on new projects with products that is finally shipping. There has been big port issues for the past few months and it has been slowing down the releases. I'm so thrilled that everything is now going to be shipping. 

I have teamed up with OUR WORLD BOUTIQUE and Denise who has been styling me. It has been fun to see her pick things that are my style. The gold necklace and pants were her pick. I am selling the BE A WARRIOR gold BAGS. They
finally came in and I'm so happy with how they turned out.

Watching Zach play baseball is a true highlight of my life.
I love watching him. He has the most amazing coaches who are truly life coaches to him as well.

It was Gentry's 23rd birthday on the 22nd. 
It was a special day to have them come up and went to the game and then dinner together. Taylor and Travis were busy packing and cute McKay is in Seattle this week. (BYU finals are done!!!)

I love these kids. They are my heart and I am so thankful that God gave them to me. I am thankful for Devan and that he will graduate soon with his Masters in Accounting. GO DEVAN!!!!!

They are so happy and this makes me so thankful they found each other and for the addition to their family.

This quote really is AMAZING!!!!!!

I recently read this and it really spoke to me: 

"Believe it or not, everyone you come in contact with has something to teach you. There’s a lesson for you to learn but also to teach. Just like Lao Tzu said it more than 2500 years ago, a good man is a bad man’s teacher and a bad man is a good man’s job.

Get in the habit of looking for the meaning behind every interaction and every experience life sends your way. Look for the lesson, look for the meaning and be willing to use every interaction and every experience to become a better but not a bitter human being.

Treat everyone with respect, love and compassion, including those who judge and criticize you harshly, not necessarily because they deserve it but because you do. Appreciate the contrast and silently thank them for the many lessons they are teaching you." - PURPOSE FAIRY

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Sunday, April 19, 2015


I am so THANKFUL for Sundays. 
I love being able to go to church and really reflecting on my life and my beliefs. I feel so inspired and motivated to be a better person. I see my life journey and I think how I NEVER would have imagined WHERE I am and WHAT I would have faced and I am full of gratitude for the experiences that have made me who I am.

I often think how we are NOT in charge of what happens to us in life, the timing of our problems and WHEN things occur. We are merely here to learn from the experiences that we have been given. I believe our trials and joys teach us valuable life lessons. We are all so different and we each have our own journey to experience.

I am so THANKFUL, EXCITED and THRILLED to share my latest  BIG DEBUT that are hitting JoAnn stores RIGHT NOW. 

               They are LIMITED EDITION
                         Teresa Collins 

This is WHAT has got me where I am today. I decided to FIGHT harder than I ever had to. I accepted God's plan and to BE A WARRIOR when LIFE literally knocked me to my knees. 

I have NEVER known such profound sadness than when I had to watch Tyler get cancer, suffer and die. These past two years literally at times made me want to give up. I had to dig deep and remember that God is mindful of each of us. God helped me see that HIS plan is not always our plan. We don't know WHY and we merely have to FACE the trials and keep going. I choose to do this and I have really worked hard to be happy and keep going.

Ty and I both knew he was not going to make it. I am truly thankful for the TIME we were given to say goodbye and for our personal journey through this time of pure hell for us. Sorry, that is the only word I can describe how it felt. He is the one who was worried about me most and encouraged and wanted me to "go on" when I thought I could not.

So I tried and I went down on my knees and prayed for Heavenly Father many times a day to PLEASE help me. Please give me the desire to go on. I was in such a dark place and GOD is the reason I am HERE and so fortunate to be HAPPY and seeing the BEAUTY in life.

 You are NEVER ever ready to go through what we have been through the past couple of years. I will NEVER ever be the same person. I say this knowing that my HEART was changed forever. 

  I know LIFE is so precious and we have limited TIME here with those we LOVE. Don't ever spent a moment regretting, feeling hate, judging, but simply LOVE LOVE LOVE. 

I am going on.
I have amazing BIG things happening in my design business. 
My heart is FULL of gratitude. I have found the desire within myself again to DESIGN and LOVE my life again. I am truly feeling thankful that I am full of inspiration again. 

This is my new PSA Essentials TC products. I am so thankful for this big debut into the Stationery world. Yes, they are WHITE and GOLD...

I am loving my "LIFE" of being with my two handsome boys. My heart breaks for what they have lost in their life and my other children. I can never ever replace their dad and what an amazing father he was to the them. Ty was so close to them and called them "his buddies." Zach and I went on a date night this past week and I am so proud of this boy. I see the growth within them and how losing Tyler has made their faith stronger. He told me that every day he wakes up and "I pray everyday for the opportunity to help someone."
THIS is truly what life is about. 

I filmed a new video for Canon and JoAnn this past week too. THIS is something AMAZING and good and will be debuting exclusive to JoAnn stores too. I see this as a way to KEEP documenting and capturing MEMORIES. It's so important!!!!!

 I am blessed to get to watch Zach play baseball twice a week now. He is doing amazing and hitting some amazing BIG hits and catching so great. He broke his bat on Friday with this home run hit. GO ZACH!!!!!

I believe that we must FOCUS on the good in life and we truly just don't know where our life journey will take us. I have found this to be so true.

Last night, we went to the REAL soccer game and it was really fun. Tyler took his "girl" Tallya. 
Oh to be sweet 16 again!!!!

I have been blessed to have met an amazing person. This decision to date after the death of Tyler is  deeply personal. It’s a choice many of us will face. I never thought I would EVER face this to be honest. 

The grief and sadness of losing a spouse can never be explained unless you have been through it. There are so many emotions and things no one will understand but YOU and you alone. There is a huge void in your life. When your partner dies, you know what deep grief it and what its truly like to be alone. 

I have learned that each of us has own unique grief process and that it's all complicated. It's deeply personal and this is my new journey. Starting to date again was scary. It was not in "my life plan" at all. When things happen in my life I am a firm believer that God is mindful of me and each of us and our needs. HE brings people into your life. I see the new possibilities as I have begun this next chapter in my life journey. 

This person has brought me so much joy to my life right now. I never ever thought my LIFE would be where it is RIGHT now. 

I decided to allow myself to experience the happiness and not DOUBT God's plan for me.  I am doing what I always say- KEEP GOING

Yes, it's NEVER easy. Tears come easily and change is so very hard. It has not been easy to do this because there's absolutely nothing scarier than starting over. I realized that happiness can be found again. It has for me.  I have had to push all the worry and doubt from my mind and just FEEL it- TRUST it. My journey is just that... mine and mine alone. I have learned to never judge or question anyone else's journey and life. I am confident in my heart and my desire to always be a great mother, woman, and friend. 

YOU truly never know that anyone has ever experienced or what they are going through. So today.... I am going to remember this-



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Sunday, April 12, 2015

LAST day in ROTORUA NEW ZEALAND... heading home

I'm saying THANK YOU for this amazing time here in NEW ZEALAND. I leave tonight to head back home. I have a massive  overflowing heart of GRATITUDE . 

My life has been enriched and forever blessed and changed from the KINDNESS and love these beautiful women have given me. A great reminder that we are HERE to help others.

TIME is precious and being away from home has given me such an appreciation for my life journey and those that mean the world to me. I am the biggest emotional girl. I admit, I hate leaving home. It's hard for me, but it also has allowed me the richest experiences, friendships and allowed me to grow stronger. In a few short FOUR weeks we will be welcoming a brand new little baby into our family and hearts. My daughter is having her baby and life could not been any more miraculous. I see tender loving mercies around me and I am simply BLESSED. I realize who I can depend on and who loves and supports me. You realize who is really there for you. It has changed me to want to do and be MORE for others myself. It truly is about helping each other. 

Words cannot articulate the feelings within my soul for all of you who came to the event and enriched my soul. I made connections for life and that is what I am about. I realize that LIFE is never to be taken for granted. LIVE EACH DAY with absolute LOVE & APPRECIATION for that day. So many women came and mentioned that they follow my blog and read it daily. They see that I am living life, and being full of gratitude. Life has a way of refining us. We each face the consequences for our own choices. We are here to not judge but LOVE. I see the love that I have from you when I attend these events. I get opportunities to share very personal and private conversations. I was given so many special hugs. I see that as human beings we all have the SAME feelings and desires. 

“Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” – Marcel Proust

 I will never settle for living a life that does not let those around me know how much I adore and cherish them. My imperfect life and moments are so dear to me.  So know that I am grateful and humbled from this experience again. I can't wait to come back. 

This was two years ago. McKay is quite sad to not come this year. We went zip lining last time. It was AMAZING!!!!! I was so scared but it was truly amazing.  McKay is attending BYU right now and the semester will soon be over and she is preparing for a Summer away in Peru. She is doing a service mission there. What a blessing that she in now fluent in the Spanish language. I encourage her to experience life in it's fullest at her young age before she graduates and life demands get in the way. This girl was emailing me this entire trip and kept me updated on Zach and Ty & home. I can't express how much I adore this cute girl. She reminds me daily of a young woman of great faith and love for God. 

We left Taupo and it was time for a GIRLS road trip to Rotorua. 
It is full of Maori culture and thermal pools. This is really one of my coolest experiences EVER. It is BUCKET LIST worthy. 

Nothing like a Sunday drive in New Zealand. This beautiful place is a true testament of God's creation. We laughed, joked and the time flew.  

One of my all time favorite things is road trips. I love to see the scenery and just reflect on the goodness of life. I am so happy and fortunate to be here again. THIS is pure thankfulness on my face.

We had to stop at a thermal pool. We were so scared to fall in. It was hilarious. 

Michele is the best tour guide. She is such a wonderful friend. I adore her and love that she takes the time to make sure it is a EXPERIENCE for her guests/friends.

This is what we did. HOT thermal pools feel AMAZING.
My feet loved the warmth. Yes, my feet are the ones with WHITE polish. It felt relaxing and refreshing. Next time, I will bring a swim suit. 

Is this not really cool?????

Let's see... DANGER... yes, I only put my feet in. I am told this is NORMAL to see at all the thermal pools. 

We finally made it to Rotorua. I was not used to the STRONG smell of Sulfur (rotten eggs). I was even lightheaded. We drove across the lakeside and took a few photos. We checked into our hotel and enjoyed the Maori culture. We had a yummy Italian dinner last night. (McKay you are so missing out!!!!!)


I still am getting up at 3:30 or 4:00 am. It's pretty much what I am used to. I use this time to design, listen to music, exercise, email with my realtor and blog of course. I am headed back home later tonight. Did I mention I have to go home and pack for my move?????

It's a good thing I have my hotel room by myself. I get up way too early for most people. I woke up with a massive backache so today "might" be a challenge. I could not sleep and gave into this fact and just got up. I think it is my curse to not be able to "not" worry about my family and life back home when I'm away. 

We are going HIGH ADVENTURE today. My last day here in NEW ZEALAND!!!!!

We are checking out soon and going to shop for souvenirs and go to a lift to the TOP of Rotorua. I am pretty sure we are on a mission to find Coke Zero too. We are going to bob sled down the mountainside. Yes, I am up for it!!!!! We talked about going Zorbing too. You never know what Michele will have us doing. I am sure we will be doing LOTS more fun things today before our several hour journey- drive back to Auckland. 

I am so excited to get home and can't wait to be with those that I love so much. Being away from home will give you perspective on what matters most. It's all about appreciating those people in your life who are your FOUNDATION and love you more than anything.  I know for me my heart is always profoundly thankful to go back to them. 

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