Tuesday, April 7, 2015

It's been a while

Time is precious. I have been going nonstop daily trying to balance all that is on my plate. I have the biggest appreciation and admiration for single parents. I have found so much growth within myself. I have worked and continue to work on my shortcomings too. I am taking it day by day. I have two handsome boys at home who are truly great young men. They are continuing to excel at school.

 I am working hard to get the house in final preparations to move. I move to another home May 1st. It is about 15 minutes away, so the boys will continue to stay at the same high school. Zach has one year and Ty has two more years. Zach will go on a mission right after he graduates and is so excited for this. I met the new buyers of my home and they were an amazing couple. It is a long process and one that definitely can be very emotional. Not only am I moving but Taylor is moving into a new home too. Her home sold in 3 HOURS. Wow!!!! PLUS, she announced that her and Travis are having TWINS. A boy and a girl. This is such a HUGE blessing. My realtor Scott is amazing and I introduced him to Taylor. (scott harvey- if you are in Utah and looking)

 It was spring break last week and my boys went to NYC and the Dominican Republic with our family friends- the Mills family. Thank you Mill family for this wonderful week and blessing. I was at the SLC expo- Let's Create Expo and really enjoyed teaching a workshop and having a booth there. I went on Good Things Utah with Michelle Money and did a weather  segment with Dan Pope later that day LIVE from the Sandy Expo. It was a fun weekend and I really enjoyed seeing so many of my friends. I appreciate the support!!!!!



I am at the airport right now preparing to head to Auckland, New Zealand for Autumn Escape.  The flight time alone is over 18 hours. I cried and cried and thankfully some of my kids called me and told me how much they loved me. They know I HATE leaving home and get so emotional.

I spent 4.5 hours yesterday talking to my cute daughter Taylor. My family and closest friends know I get so worked up when I leave. It's so hard. I am so thankful for my business, but my
family know that they are always my first love. Even though I love what I do, it's not easy to be away from those that you love.

I have felt so torn to balance being a single parent. It's hard to know what to really share at times on my blog. I have struggled with this for years. I have shared things and decided not to share other things. I always want to be positive and yet life is LIFE. Life is not always pretty. Reality is that all of us has our own trials, fears, problems and often they are meant to just be "our own and private." I have felt this and deal with this myself. I have felt the feelings of not knowing how or what to share when it comes to my life. Also, I feel that my blog is not a place that I should share about someone else. This is their story and I respect that as well. The good certainly outweigh the bad and I've thought for some time, how no matter what I share- there is always more that I will always keep private.

There are private and personal matters that have and will always remain this way. No one really knows what anyone else is going through. My daughters lately have expressed this concern with their upcoming births. They want  social media to be scaled back. They want the privacy of these special photos and moments to remain private within our family. Choices have been made by some of my family members to close up their online accounts for privacy. I am now seeing more and more the need for this... for them and for our family.
  Over the years, I have had times that my family and children have asked for me not "not share" something. I see more than ever that it is important and as a family we will be more cautious and careful to our posts and our privacy.


I love this sign at Alice Lane. It is a wonderful furniture store in  Utah.  HOME and our FAMILY is truly the most important thing we have in life. It is our private refuge from the world. It is the place where we can be ourself and with those that we love. We are imperfect and "imperfect people" that struggle at times, but we have each other and the refuge of home and family to keep us feeling safe and loved. 
Oh how true this quote is for me. Many of you know that I have written a book. It has been a work in progress. It will debut in October of this year. There are many things that I have shared that I have never shared before. It was with much thought and prayer that I decided to share SOME OF IT  within the pages of my book. It is much more than a business book. It certainly has that, but I have shared some stories of my life from the time I was born. It has made me the person that I am today. I am STILL  happy and thankful because I choose to be. I am full of GRATITUDE and the struggles I have faced and will continue to face will only make me a better me. I am human and hope that by sharing and being at a place where it is TIME to share more, I hope in some small way that I can help others. I had finished the book and then asked to revise and add to the book due to my desire to hopefully help someone else. You simply never know what someone else has gone through. I am a SURVIVOR on so many levels. I am STRONGER for my trials. I have a thankful heart and one that sees the good in the everyday "imperfect" moments. I also am a person who has made mistakes and own them. I have learned and will continue to learn from life lessons. We can be BITTER or BETTER. I'm never one to dwell on the bitter but will choose to see the good. I don't believe in tearing down another person or questioning their life choices. Seriously, I have my own life and decisions to deal with. 


On the day- Sunday-that this photo was taken, I was just getting home from church. I had been pretty much a mess that day. I have and will continue to struggle with my ongoing journey. I am finding each day a "new" day in THIS new journey. I have reminded myself often that it's OKAY to be happy. It's okay to find joy and it's OKAY to have really sad days too. I was at the lowest of low. I begged God to help me to feel happiness and peace again. I can honestly say that I am feeling the blessings from Heavenly Father more than ever. HE loves each of us so much and God wants us to be happy. It's that simple.  I am accepting and reminding myself to be more GENTLE and simply trust my heart more.




So I am going to trust my heart and soul. I am going to keep going and TRUST that I can do this. NO one can honestly ever know or experience what someone else is going through. That is exactly what my family and I am doing. It's private, personal and real. We are a real family with REAL feelings and there is so much that has never been shared or will be. I am a firm believer in "kindness matters" "people matter" and being positive in life is important. It does not mean that hard times and hard things don't happen. They do and I have chosen to keep this part of my life as such. I was married to a man that I loved and adored. We had a beautiful blended family together. We had our struggles and hard times like EVERY single marriage. We drove each other crazy at times. We fought like every single couple. It was a REAL marriage and it was ours alone. We had our private marriage and our public marriage, like every single couple in the world. We had a beautiful "imperfect" marriage and yes, we had struggles and we had great moments. 
 


This is my LITTLE boy. Yes, Ty is the baby. He is 16 and I am wearing heels. He is so tall and I adore him. He sends me love texts. He calls me his "babe." I am so especially grateful for the tender love and mercy that Heavenly Father has given me. I know that in starting a new journey and with so much change in my life that I am more than ever in need of this. This cute boy took me to the airport and SHOCKING... kissed me on the cheek. I am pretty lucky. 






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26 comments:

Stephanie said...

You have such a strong soul!!! You are doing what is in the best interest of your family and no one can fault you for that. Step by step we move forward. Happiness comes in all forms large and small....embrace it fully!!! <3 you!

teresa collins said...

Thank you so much!!!!!

Vickie Jarvis said...

Tender mercies are all around. Follow your heart...it hasn't steered you wrong yet.

teresa collins said...

Thanks Vickie- YOU know that I firmly believe in this. God knows each of us and the intentions of our heart. This is all we can do. I miss you!!!!


Debi tullier said...

Know you are loved!

Patti J said...

Sending you love and prayers! You are an amazing mother, and it always shows in the faces of your children. Thank you for sharing with us. You are loved!

gela said...

Thanks for reminding me to be grateful everyday. You blog is an inspiration to me. A big cyber hug to you and your family.

scrapwordsmom said...

Lots of love sweet lady. Honestly I LOVE reading your blog. You are so very positive despite everything. BIG blessings!!

MarcMeka said...

I may not comment often, but I read and I look. Keep on smiling. You'll get through everything.

Lori Apgar said...

I think of you often. The pieces of your life that you have shared make you seem more human and less celebrity. You share what and when YOU and your family is comfortable with. I love the photos of you smiling even though I know you sometimes want to crawl back in bed or have a good cry. You have been through so much and have a wonderful family to help you stand up when you need them! I wish you nothing but the best!!!

teresa collins said...

Lori, thank you. YOU are exactly right.

Philippa said...

Teresa honey, you are so special to me even though we've never met. You are sensitive, strong, funny and just wonderful. I admire you on so many levels and especially for knowing when to draw boundaries re what you post here on your blog. Your family is beyond special in SO MANY WAYS... All of you as a unit are such an inspiration to many and we love you so much for that. Have a wonderful time in my home country of New Zealand and oh how I wish I could meet you! Sending you a big ''virtual'' hug with lots of smiles and much love attached. You are SO SO special! Love you to pieces just for being the person you are. xxxx

Michelle Clarke said...

You are truly an inspiration Teresa and I understand the having to remind yourself that it is okay to be happy. Someone once told me Everyone grieves in a different way

Never think that the length and breadth of your grief reflects the depth and breadth of your love. People who grieve for a year don't love more than those that grieve for 6 months. It is different for everybody.

I look forward to your book and I also look forward to you coming back to Sydney next year. Remember when you are ready to start your 100 happy days as that helps even on the darkest day!!
From Michelle (aka 'N' )

Jean said...

I understand and respect your keeping parts of your life private. You and your family have a special bond. COngrats on the new grand babies. Look forward to the book.

Laura Turcotte said...

{{{HUGS!}}}

cathy< jt said...

Love your honesty and for sharing your life . It's Real like everyone else's. Continued prayers for your lovely family!!
Love and hugs
Cathy Thompson

Dondi Murdock said...

You are simply amazing, Saint Teresa! I know you aren't quite perfect yet because you are still on the planet, but you bless so many lives by being just exactly who you are.

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