Tuesday, June 30, 2015

LOVE AGAIN... in the everyday

The REALITY is that life is really about the everyday simple moments. Many of my friends have asked how has the adjustment been for me since I remarried. Was it awkward? How is it living with Brian after being married for so long to my late husband? How has Brian adjusted? How are the boys who live with us? 

 It is something that you really have no idea WHAT the reality will be. I knew that I loved Brian and I knew he loved me. I knew we were committed and loved being together. We made decisions prior to marrying that were important to us. We both felt strongly that we did not want a "physical" relationship until we were married. Many close friends and my sister thought we were crazy. 

Our wedding day was beautiful. Then we went to Cabo for a week for our honeymoon. The best thing was that we had no internet or social media to distract us. We spent many hours talking and by the pool side. We walked by the ocean and everything was magical. 

This was our favorite photo. We had been walking on the beach on a windy evening. It was getting dark. The best thing about our relationship is that we both spent hours every day for months getting to know each other.

Brian had been married once before for over twenty three years. I had been married to Tyler for almost nineteen years. We both had been in long marriages. This meant we both brought differences into a relationship. It amazed me how similar we both were and wondered if marriage would change anything. I met with his ex-wife and this only confirmed my feelings for Brian. I knew and trusted my heart. I am a firm believer in listening to your own spirit. If someone ever tries to tell you something differently, than I would suggest you find out yourself what is the truth. Follow your gut. Seriously, I am so thankful that I did.
Always make your own decisions and know that every relationship is new and will be different because its with two different people.

So now we are married and I am so thankful that Brian is so loving and kind in the everyday moments. He loves to cook for us and this is just one of his love languages.  He will come home from work and call to ask to take me out on a date or stop and buy me my favorite SWIG soft drink and sugar cookie. His natural thoughtfulness was more than I could ever have hoped or expected. The REALITY is that he makes me laugh, smile and he loves me.  I warned him that I am easily moved to tears and things easily touch my heart. Brian "get's me." What should have taken years for us to KNOW each other... well, it happened so fast. We often complete each other's thoughts. Brian is so patient and my boys are thriving with him as a role model. I know that he loves them and is not trying to "replace" or be their dad.  This is huge. We both realize that it's really simple. We love each other to the core. We love who each other is. We are committed to building up each other and loving each other. We love our children and want a strong family together. Brian is a great father and is very present in their life.  I love his dedication and love for each of his children. It's important to me that they will feel at home and loved when they are with us. His children know that I love them and I would never try to replace their mother.  I respect that relationship and feel that children should never have to pick sides. Our children are blessed to have both of us loving them.

   We are both imperfect but feel like it is "our perfect." We both appreciate this LOVE and finding each other. There is naturally going to be an adjustment. This is reality in any new marriage and we know in time we will get more and more adjusted. We want all of our kids to want to be at home. The world can be so scary and we want them to be influenced within the walls of our home. We want them to want to be home and simply feel loved by both of us. The world is hard at times, but our home with be that SAFE place for the kids. Our two families are blending together- day by day. We are appreciative for the happiness that others have expressed that they have felt when they walk into our home. This is the best thing ever!!!! Yes, we are new at this LIFE together but we know with lots of love & patience... we are going to have a great life together. When there are bumps in the road, we are committed to never giving up. 

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Thursday, June 25, 2015

A photo is worth a THOUSAND WORDS- sharing the wedding

On June 8th 2015 many of you know that I remarried. This was truly a beautiful special day in my life. I was able to marry the most amazing man. Brian and I met earlier this year. I remember the day in January that we meet for a early dinner. We had spoken on the phone and through texting conversations and I felt an instant friendship with him already. I mentioned to him that I knew we would be great friends. 

Since I had never thought about the possibility of remarriage I was safe. However, I became nervous to go to dinner. This was not like me. Why was I feeling so nervous? I told my office staff that I was going to cancel that day.  Bridget, Brie and my friend TC talked me into going.  I somehow "knew" before even meeting him that there was "something about him" that I liked. We meet at a local sushi restaurant. I met him there so I could leave fast if needed. Then it was literally almost five hours we sat and talked. It was INSTANT. I loved his personality and his gentle soul. We talked about life and our children and that he went to University of Utah and I went to BYU- Big RIVALS. We joked and laughed. We drank a ton of diet cokes. We ordered a bunch of food.  The food arrived and it went untouched. We sat and talked and talked. I don't remember people coming or going... it was just a deep conversation and connection. It was magical and comfortable. I felt like I knew him. 

Brian and I connected with our faith, values and what was most important to us in life. When we finally had to go, yes, the restaurant closed at 10 pm. I had to pick up my daughter and Devan from the airport, so he gave me a simple friendly hug. I got into my car and called my friend who was about to call the police. She had been texting me all night and was seriously worried at this point. I She was sure that he had kidnapped me and I was a goner. She was so worried, because WHO does five hour dinners? I assured her that I was okay and she asked about the dinner.  I told her I had no idea if he even liked me, but I thought he was amazing and we would be great friends. I talked and shared more and then she said, "You are going to marry this guy." I told her she was CRAZY. I said, "I don't even know if I will see him again." Then within 30 minutes he sent me the sweetest text. He said that he had never experienced anything like that night and that time had stood still  with me and he had a great night. He wanted to definitely get together again. 

The next day I went to my office and everyone was asking how it was. I was smiling and they knew. I told them that it was "UNREAL" to have this connection to someone.  I really liked Brian as a person and he is so kind that I felt blessed to have met him. The next thing I know it's about 10:30am and he texted me. Brian said that he was at work trying to focus but he was getting no work done because ALL that he could think of was me. He asked to call me that night. We talked on the phone for over six hours- until 4 am. Yes, sleep deprivation started fast.

That is how our love story started and I simply KNEW then and know now that he was the one who I would find love again with. It was completely what they call a "fairy tale" or "love story." I never thought I would smile and feel this way again. I told Brian that I was the saddest I had ever been. I was lost in so many ways for the first time in my life. I remember when McKay came home from her mission in December and being on my knees in prayer. I literally begged for Heavenly Father to help me to feel "ME" again and to find JOY in a hard time in my life. I was praying nonstop and spent so much time on my knees. I was not praying for a "man." I was I was simply praying for the desire to be the woman and mother that I was before.  

I know that Heavenly Father knows exactly what and when we need in our life. This was never the timing I had planned- to find love again. I firmly believe God has his own timing and we sometimes don't understand his PLAN but this is where FAITH comes in.  So here are just a few of the beautiful photos from our wedding day. It is my hope and wish that you EACH are able to find the SPARK, SMILE and LOVE in your own life and heart. 

If you are ever in a dark or hard time in your own life... know that YOU can endure it.  I did and continue to do so. You can and will find comfort. It may take time. Be patient and know that I I personally know this to be true. NEVER GIVE UP... 

This was a beautiful day for a wedding. We got married at Tuscany/Francks restaurant venue here in Utah. It was the same place that he proposed to me. We had wanted to get married in one of the LDS temples, but we both had been previously sealed to our spouses. I won't go into this situation, but we would have loved to have been married there if possible. This was the perfect place since this was not possible in our situation. 

I wanted it to be SIMPLE and the focus to be on the marriage and what this meant to us. The colors were blush, platinum silver, gold and white. The garland on the gazebo was made from lemon leaves. My dear friend Lara helped make these along with TC and Brian's mother, Pat. We did simple poms with ribbon to decorate the white chairs.

My children looked so nice. The boys wanted BLUSH bow ties. Ty wanted suspenders. Yes, he is the cutest kid. This is his sweet 16 year old girlfriend Tallya. 

This cake was gorgeous and the photos do not do it justice. The band is GOLD and the flowers are real. The designer was Flour & Flourish and she did the "insanely" yummy macarons too.

I was getting ready for the ceremony. Rochelle did my makeup that day- she does wedding hair, make up (spray), lashes, etc. I would recommend her for any occasion. You can find her on FACEBOOK at Pretty Edgy Hair and Lashes. Trust me you would love her!!!

I love my girls. How in the world did I get blessed to have these sweet daughters? McKay was a huge help setting up that day with her brothers. Taylor has to be careful having twins and looked amazing. Gentry has her sweet newborn Cooper. I was told he was fussy that day. 

This is my sister Shelley. She flew in from Hickory NC. Yes, she wanted to support Brian and I and our children. She loves me and got to meet Brian for the first time. Thankfully, she loved him. Whew!!!! I love my sister so much. I can't thank her enough for coming to support us.

Dressing room... I was not nervous at all. Then TC came and told me that Brian had arrived. She said he had tears in his eyes and was so excited. I lost it in the dressing room. I never had one doubt that this was "too fast" or not right. I followed the strong promptings in my heart.

I am so addicted to pink peonies. I loved the blush candles. 

I absolutely LOVE the father that Brian is. He has four children. This is his oldest daughter. I adore this sweet girl. The first time I met her, it was a natural connection. He has a son serving a full time mission in Ecuador right now. Brian also has two children that live with their mother. 

Devan blessed us by playing "A THOUSAND YEARS" on the piano as I walked down the aisle.

My handsome 17 year old son, walked me down the aisle. He was nervous, but he did great. I was so touched that he did this. 

Many of you may wonder. How are my children doing? I am so thankful and happy to say that they like Brian and they love me. We are FAMILY and we support each other. Seth is on his mission and he was so supportive and happy for me. This meant so much. Matt and Kayla were not able to come since they just had closed and were moving into a beautiful new home. Thankfully, the children see the light and happiness in my life. Brian is not their dad. He is a blessing to them and in our family. My boys love that Brian plays golf too. The boys have a strong and good male role model who loves them. They will forever miss their dad.

We were married by my church Bishop Boyle. I love this GIANT of a man. I don't remember too much of it. I was smiling, happy and feeling so thankful for the kids, family and close friends who came to witness our marriage.

Lizzie Rosen played the violin with Devan to "A THOUSAND YEARS" and it was beautiful. 

This was a DIY wedding. I printed the invites, programs and everything in my office on my Canon PIXMA iP8720 printer. I used blush card stock and my TC GOLD ribbon tape.

I loved the small feel of this special day. I could not be happier to have our children there to start the beginning of our new life chapter... 

This is all of our children with the exception of his son serving a mission.  I am so thankful for Brittany Ting photos that captured this beautiful moment and day. She is a photography major at BYU. 

Weddings and celebrations should be FUN. Yes, Devan and Zach are goof balls. I loved that everyone seemed to have a great time.

This is the beginning of  GOING on.
THIS is exactly what Heavenly Father and what I know in my heart   was supposed to be.
I adore this man. I adore our children. I will forever be grateful to have a husband to share my life with. 
I am grateful to every single one of you who have loved and supported us. I am grateful for Brian's family who have welcomed me and loved me instantly. My heart is overflowing with gratitude and love. 

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Sunday, June 21, 2015


It is Father's Day and we are now pretty settled from the move. My daughter McKay is serving a service mission for the next five weeks in Peru. My son Zach is playing baseball in the Summer HS league and my son Ty is working at his first job. He also is a cheerleader at the high school and loves this. 

 I was able to face time with McKay today. I know she loves this opportunity to speak Spanish and serve as needed. It is a reminder to her and our family for the gratitude for the LITTLE (BIG) things. When I was pregnant with my first child, I dreamed about what my child would be like. I wrote letters to each of my unborn babies. I remember feeling overwhelmed with the feelings to just have KIND children. I wanted to teach them the importance to be kind- even when others are not kind back. Children who would treat others with love and respect and hopefully make a difference. 

In a world that wants to tear others down, why not be the person who spreads KINDNESS, ACCEPTANCE and LOVE. I taught my children to be respectful and understanding. I taught them to not to judge others. I wanted them to each simply be happiness. I was and am not a perfect parent. I am not a perfect woman.  My children are not perfect either, but they are good hearted children. 

I have had to over the years decide what to share and what not to share in a very public profession and blog. I have often struggled. Those of you who personally know me... know that I wear my heart on my sleeves and I am a really grateful person. Many of you only see me on social media or on HSN. You see the "online" me. I am just like every other person in the world. I have endured trials like everyone else. I hope you each realize that what I post and share is only a small glimpse of my real life. I know it may seem I have only shared the "positive." I try to look at the positive in all situations. I don't regret this and I don't plan to change. It is what gets me out of bed somedays when I haven't wanted to. I have been knocked down and wondered if I could ever possibly get up. I am a fighter for life though. I am also a deeply loyal and devoted & faithful person and I don't give up when things are hard.  I survived a pretty horrible childhood, a divorce, and the death of my husband. 

I have not shared the details of so much of my life because it is just that... my private life. If I walked up to any person I know that they would have their own unique story and things that they have been through that no one would know. I am who I am today because of EVERY single experience I have had. I have grown a business that I love from pure passion and determination. Most importantly I have been blessed to be a mother  and I consider this the most amazing and rewarding blessing ever in my life. 

Some of my children have asked me to not share about them or post photos. I have seen now first hand how important this step is (more so more than ever). Our family is filled with love and although we are not a perfect family- we have the most amazing love for one another. Our family is changing as all families do. As we live life it is inevitable that this is part of our ongoing story.

I am strong and confident in myself with all my flaws and weaknesses. Some days I am stronger than other days. This is reality. I know that I have simply tried my best to be the "best" person I can be. I have had to be stronger when I didn't want or think that I could be. There has not been a manual given to me on how to live my life. I went to my new church ward today for the first time. We talked about the feelings that are within our home. It was said by someone that "children are only as happy as their mother." Home is that place where we should feel unconditional love and support. I thought about this statement and it resonated with me. I want those who enter my home to feel this acceptance and love. 

Since today is Father's Day. I knew it would be a tough day. I woke up and felt so many emotions. I cried at the vanity as I put on my makeup for church. Brian came and hugged me several times out of concern. I knew that this day would be the hardest on my two teenage boys. We openly talk about this and we talk about and remember Tyler. It was God's plan and the past two years, we lived knowing that he did not have much time left with us. The boys and I had many private conversations. YOU are never prepared to say goodbye. I know that my boys have accepted God's plan even though none of us really understand NOW why. We were given time to talk and share and say our goodbyes. STILL... days like TODAY are so tender. Each of my boys wanted to visit Ty's grave alone today. I supported whatever they wanted and we talk and remember Tyler daily in our home. I am thankful for Ty's sister and family who are STILL family. Death does not change any of this... the support is ongoing and my children and family are positive and going on. 

I posted this on instagram earlier today-
Today has been a day that is a reminder of the importance of fathers. My sons each visited their dads grave. They wanted alone time. They know that he is not truly gone. Gods plan is hard to accept and yet my boys are strong and brave. They are living to honor all that he taught them. I am so thankful to the amazing men and role models to my sons and daughters. No one can understand this journey unless you have lived it. Many tears continue to be shed. I reminded my children today that death is not the end and how much their dad loved them. I'm so proud of each of my children. Each day we talk and remember. It's so important to live every day to the fullest and with appreciation. We simply can't control what happens to us in life, but we can control our outlook and how we pick up the pieces when things shatter.

I am thrilled to announce that with the growth of my business that I have hired a new Social Media Specialist. She will help us keep YOU up to date with information about new product releases, events, workshops and more! I will continue to post about my travels, inspirations and family on my personal Facebook page and NEW INSTAGRAM account @teresacollinswebber. Thank you for the support.

We are loving Cooper and excited for the twins to come. The marriage on June 8th was small and very personal with our children, family and closest friends. I am thankful that my children and his children were there and supportive. My sister flew out to be with me. Most of my best friends were able to come. It was a beautiful celebration of life going on and me finding love and happiness again after losing Tyler. I am a firm believer that you cannot plan your life. Life is to be lived. I will always be grateful for finding this again. The truth is I never thought I would fall in love and find someone as wonderful as Brian. It was instant and completely unexpected. I found someone who was so similar. He was so kind and I watched him with his children. He was the most amazing father and he instantly and effortlessly was someone that my boys liked. Truth be told, we became best friends. I met his family and witnessed the most beautiful group of brothers and sister who loved each other. They loved Brian and shared stories of his character and I knew he was a keeper. I felt so at home with his family. It was a instant connection. My girls had the hardest time and waited a long to time to meet Brian. I knew that they did this because of love and concern. I knew in my heart that eventually they would meet him and see what a good person he is and was for me. This happened and I knew to be patient and give everyone time to know him. Brian and I knew we needed all of our children to see and trust what he had and felt was real. Family is most important to us and we wanted to go forward loving our children and each other together. Family is most important. Simple... that's it. I knew that some would never understand the timing and I questioned the timing as well myself. I now believe and know it was exactly as it should be. 

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