I was able to face time with McKay today. I know she loves this opportunity to speak Spanish and serve as needed. It is a reminder to her and our family for the gratitude for the LITTLE (BIG) things. When I was pregnant with my first child, I dreamed about what my child would be like. I wrote letters to each of my unborn babies. I remember feeling overwhelmed with the feelings to just have KIND children. I wanted to teach them the importance to be kind- even when others are not kind back. Children who would treat others with love and respect and hopefully make a difference.
In a world that wants to tear others down, why not be the person who spreads KINDNESS, ACCEPTANCE and LOVE. I taught my children to be respectful and understanding. I taught them to not to judge others. I wanted them to each simply be happiness. I was and am not a perfect parent. I am not a perfect woman. My children are not perfect either, but they are good hearted children.
I have had to over the years decide what to share and what not to share in a very public profession and blog. I have often struggled. Those of you who personally know me... know that I wear my heart on my sleeves and I am a really grateful person. Many of you only see me on social media or on HSN. You see the "online" me. I am just like every other person in the world. I have endured trials like everyone else. I hope you each realize that what I post and share is only a small glimpse of my real life. I know it may seem I have only shared the "positive." I try to look at the positive in all situations. I don't regret this and I don't plan to change. It is what gets me out of bed somedays when I haven't wanted to. I have been knocked down and wondered if I could ever possibly get up. I am a fighter for life though. I am also a deeply loyal and devoted & faithful person and I don't give up when things are hard. I survived a pretty horrible childhood, a divorce, and the death of my husband.
I have not shared the details of so much of my life because it is just that... my private life. If I walked up to any person I know that they would have their own unique story and things that they have been through that no one would know. I am who I am today because of EVERY single experience I have had. I have grown a business that I love from pure passion and determination. Most importantly I have been blessed to be a mother and I consider this the most amazing and rewarding blessing ever in my life.
Some of my children have asked me to not share about them or post photos. I have seen now first hand how important this step is (more so more than ever). Our family is filled with love and although we are not a perfect family- we have the most amazing love for one another. Our family is changing as all families do. As we live life it is inevitable that this is part of our ongoing story.
I am strong and confident in myself with all my flaws and weaknesses. Some days I am stronger than other days. This is reality. I know that I have simply tried my best to be the "best" person I can be. I have had to be stronger when I didn't want or think that I could be. There has not been a manual given to me on how to live my life. I went to my new church ward today for the first time. We talked about the feelings that are within our home. It was said by someone that "children are only as happy as their mother." Home is that place where we should feel unconditional love and support. I thought about this statement and it resonated with me. I want those who enter my home to feel this acceptance and love.
Since today is Father's Day. I knew it would be a tough day. I woke up and felt so many emotions. I cried at the vanity as I put on my makeup for church. Brian came and hugged me several times out of concern. I knew that this day would be the hardest on my two teenage boys. We openly talk about this and we talk about and remember Tyler. It was God's plan and the past two years, we lived knowing that he did not have much time left with us. The boys and I had many private conversations. YOU are never prepared to say goodbye. I know that my boys have accepted God's plan even though none of us really understand NOW why. We were given time to talk and share and say our goodbyes. STILL... days like TODAY are so tender. Each of my boys wanted to visit Ty's grave alone today. I supported whatever they wanted and we talk and remember Tyler daily in our home. I am thankful for Ty's sister and family who are STILL family. Death does not change any of this... the support is ongoing and my children and family are positive and going on.
I posted this on instagram earlier today-
Today has been a day that is a reminder of the importance of fathers. My sons each visited their dads grave. They wanted alone time. They know that he is not truly gone. Gods plan is hard to accept and yet my boys are strong and brave. They are living to honor all that he taught them. I am so thankful to the amazing men and role models to my sons and daughters. No one can understand this journey unless you have lived it. Many tears continue to be shed. I reminded my children today that death is not the end and how much their dad loved them. I'm so proud of each of my children. Each day we talk and remember. It's so important to live every day to the fullest and with appreciation. We simply can't control what happens to us in life, but we can control our outlook and how we pick up the pieces when things shatter.
I am thrilled to announce that with the growth of my business that I have hired a new Social Media Specialist. She will help us keep YOU up to date with information about new product releases, events, workshops and more! I will continue to post about my travels, inspirations and family on my personal Facebook page and NEW INSTAGRAM account @teresacollinswebber. Thank you for the support.
We are loving Cooper and excited for the twins to come. The marriage on June 8th was small and very personal with our children, family and closest friends. I am thankful that my children and his children were there and supportive. My sister flew out to be with me. Most of my best friends were able to come. It was a beautiful celebration of life going on and me finding love and happiness again after losing Tyler. I am a firm believer that you cannot plan your life. Life is to be lived. I will always be grateful for finding this again. The truth is I never thought I would fall in love and find someone as wonderful as Brian. It was instant and completely unexpected. I found someone who was so similar. He was so kind and I watched him with his children. He was the most amazing father and he instantly and effortlessly was someone that my boys liked. Truth be told, we became best friends. I met his family and witnessed the most beautiful group of brothers and sister who loved each other. They loved Brian and shared stories of his character and I knew he was a keeper. I felt so at home with his family. It was a instant connection. My girls had the hardest time and waited a long to time to meet Brian. I knew that they did this because of love and concern. I knew in my heart that eventually they would meet him and see what a good person he is and was for me. This happened and I knew to be patient and give everyone time to know him. Brian and I knew we needed all of our children to see and trust what he had and felt was real. Family is most important to us and we wanted to go forward loving our children and each other together. Family is most important. Simple... that's it. I knew that some would never understand the timing and I questioned the timing as well myself. I now believe and know it was exactly as it should be.