Tuesday, June 30, 2015

LOVE AGAIN... in the everyday

The REALITY is that life is really about the everyday simple moments. Many of my friends have asked how has the adjustment been for me since I remarried. Was it awkward? How is it living with Brian after being married for so long to my late husband? How has Brian adjusted? How are the boys who live with us? 

 It is something that you really have no idea WHAT the reality will be. I knew that I loved Brian and I knew he loved me. I knew we were committed and loved being together. We made decisions prior to marrying that were important to us. We both felt strongly that we did not want a "physical" relationship until we were married. Many close friends and my sister thought we were crazy. 

Our wedding day was beautiful. Then we went to Cabo for a week for our honeymoon. The best thing was that we had no internet or social media to distract us. We spent many hours talking and by the pool side. We walked by the ocean and everything was magical. 

This was our favorite photo. We had been walking on the beach on a windy evening. It was getting dark. The best thing about our relationship is that we both spent hours every day for months getting to know each other.

Brian had been married once before for over twenty three years. I had been married to Tyler for almost nineteen years. We both had been in long marriages. This meant we both brought differences into a relationship. It amazed me how similar we both were and wondered if marriage would change anything. I met with his ex-wife and this only confirmed my feelings for Brian. I knew and trusted my heart. I am a firm believer in listening to your own spirit. If someone ever tries to tell you something differently, than I would suggest you find out yourself what is the truth. Follow your gut. Seriously, I am so thankful that I did.
Always make your own decisions and know that every relationship is new and will be different because its with two different people.

So now we are married and I am so thankful that Brian is so loving and kind in the everyday moments. He loves to cook for us and this is just one of his love languages.  He will come home from work and call to ask to take me out on a date or stop and buy me my favorite SWIG soft drink and sugar cookie. His natural thoughtfulness was more than I could ever have hoped or expected. The REALITY is that he makes me laugh, smile and he loves me.  I warned him that I am easily moved to tears and things easily touch my heart. Brian "get's me." What should have taken years for us to KNOW each other... well, it happened so fast. We often complete each other's thoughts. Brian is so patient and my boys are thriving with him as a role model. I know that he loves them and is not trying to "replace" or be their dad.  This is huge. We both realize that it's really simple. We love each other to the core. We love who each other is. We are committed to building up each other and loving each other. We love our children and want a strong family together. Brian is a great father and is very present in their life.  I love his dedication and love for each of his children. It's important to me that they will feel at home and loved when they are with us. His children know that I love them and I would never try to replace their mother.  I respect that relationship and feel that children should never have to pick sides. Our children are blessed to have both of us loving them.

   We are both imperfect but feel like it is "our perfect." We both appreciate this LOVE and finding each other. There is naturally going to be an adjustment. This is reality in any new marriage and we know in time we will get more and more adjusted. We want all of our kids to want to be at home. The world can be so scary and we want them to be influenced within the walls of our home. We want them to want to be home and simply feel loved by both of us. The world is hard at times, but our home with be that SAFE place for the kids. Our two families are blending together- day by day. We are appreciative for the happiness that others have expressed that they have felt when they walk into our home. This is the best thing ever!!!! Yes, we are new at this LIFE together but we know with lots of love & patience... we are going to have a great life together. When there are bumps in the road, we are committed to never giving up. 

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At July 1, 2015 at 8:41 AM , Blogger Tereesa C said...

This is so great to hear, Teresa. I am so happy for you both. May your life together be everything wonderful you deserve.
As you know from when we met in Brisbane, Australia, our family too are facing difficult times with our daughter's illness. Your very truthful and inspiring posts help me more than you can imagine. Thankyou for sharing your everything. Hugs, Tereesa

At July 1, 2015 at 10:01 PM , Blogger deb musick said...

Teresa, congratulations! I am so happy for you and for Brian. He is a very lucky man! Best wishes as you two enjoy your love!

At July 2, 2015 at 2:59 PM , Blogger gela said...

Wishing you much happiness and Joy. Both of you are lucky you found each other.

At July 2, 2015 at 4:28 PM , Blogger disney@heart said...

I so admire your commitment to family and while it is soon I can't help but think that your sweet Tyler is watching over you and his family and wanted for you to be with someone who would love all of you. What a bonus to once again have additional children in your life plus all of your grandchildren. I love how you work so attentively on all in your life.

At July 2, 2015 at 9:57 PM , Blogger Carole said...

Teresa...I commend you for sticking to your moral code and waiting until you were married to have a physical relationship. That a wonderful example to your children, and commitment to your faith, and I wish more folks would do that.

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