Monday, August 24, 2015

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL... tender moments

 I'm in a FABULOUS thankful mood. I spend a great weekend with these crazy fun kids. How in the WORLD did I get so lucky and blessed????

It's back to school today for my kids. So this weekend was back to school prep and yesterday we had a great dinner together. Brian is the best cook and made dinner for us. Then we had a special family home evening together. We talked about living a life each day choosing and making good decisions. High school is hard. College is hard. Yes, no matter what STAGE of life we are in.. it's daily decisions that will effect what we become. I tell my kids all the time, "YOU determine so much YOUR life by the decisions you make." Often it is the simple decisions. We all make mistakes, we all slip and fall, we all face hard times. It's WHAT we do when this happens that determines our future and our attitudes. 

Taylor and Travis are having a scheduled C-Section this week. Yes, I'm praying and thinking nonstop on the "magnitude" of this miracle. This little boy and girl are coming into a family that are OVER THE MOON in love with them already. This was Taylor and Travis on Saturday. This is her 38 weeks with twins. They came to visit us for the day. She is on bed rest but decided she needed a change of scenery. It was fun to see her and spend time with her. Travis says she is getting a little grumpy. I had to laugh. Yes, any woman can relate to the end of pregnancy, the hormones, Summer heat, and well... bed rest too. Can't wait to share my little grand babies with you. You can follow here or on my instagram (teresacollinswebber-personal) and teresacollinsdesigns.

Now today is the 1st day of school for my teenage boys. I heard a knock on my bedroom door about 6:40 am. Yes, traditions matter. Ty was ready for me to come down and take their photos. I have done this every year since they started school.

Zach is 17 years old. He is a senior this year. I am very thankful for his kindness and fun personality. I know BIG things will happen for him because he wants to make a difference in the world.

This photos kills me. I heard the boys talking and laughing. One of them said, let's do a TOUGH one like dad. I held back the tears.
I thought of Tyler. I thought of how hard he fought to be with these kids. He fought to not leave me. He adored his boys. He adored ALL of his kids. This was the first "back to school" he has missed. 

He would be so proud of these two boys. I KNOW he is still very near and close as he watches over them. THIS is reality. I know that many of you have watched and seen how sad and hard the past couple of years have been for our family. It doesn't just end when someone dies. You don't stop loving that person. You don't forget. I am thankful for Brian who loves these boys and has never once tried to "be their dad." We talk so much about this. 

They are never going to have their dad again. I ache as I know this has greatly impacted their life. I am deeply grateful for these boys and how they are choosing to be happy and keep going. 

I am proud of them. I am so thankful God is giving me tender mercies daily. We have had some rough days and some really sad days. We have many more happy times and we celebrate and talk about the good. We remember Tyler and talk about him. When you lose someone, life quickly goes on for everyone else. It doesn't and isn't the same ever for the people closest to the person gone. 

This is little Ty. He is 16 years old now. I adore this kid. He is so much a mixture of Ty and I. Yes, he is stubborn, feisty, hardworking, smart, and I love him. I see so much of his dad in him that makes me thankful. I know that this smile is more real now. It's not been easy and the secret has been simple. LOVE... We have hard times and sad times and we simply LOVE each other during those times. 

Saturday night, Brian and I went on a drive and date night in Park City. We knew getting married was a commitment to not only US but to our children. We knew that our children had been through so much with Ty's death and divorce. We wanted the strongest foundation and knew we would work hard to keep our marriage strong. 

Yes, I'm so happy to have found him. I consider this man a miracle in every possible way. He is so smart and we are a team. He is kind and giving. He took Zach to hit golf balls and then get his truck's maintenance done this weekend. He is that person who simply wants to help make others life easier. I know that Ty would have wanted someone like Brian in our life. I have felt this so many times. I know this is really personal to share, but it's the truth. I still have those times when I feel guilty for being happy again. I know that Ty would be so mad at me. I know he would be so telling me to STOP thinking like that. He would tell me to be HAPPY, and that my happiness is so important for our children and family. 

When I found out that Costco has my journal's now at some locations, Brian was the first to want to go there and see them. I am thankful for his belief in me. I KNOW that we all need people behind us who  LOVE us... BELIEVE in us. 

PS... I love MONDAYS.

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