Monday, October 17, 2016

Seth Got MARRIED... DEEPLY PERSONAL


BE WARNED

This is going to be a longer post with lots of thoughts. I have thought over and over how to post some of the things that woke me up at  3 am to share. First, I have a RASH that will not go away. This past week has been super "unproductive" for me with this itch rash and some other reasons. I decided to FOCUS on watching 
my amazing BONUS son get married.

Seth and Ellie got married on Friday October 14th 2016 in the Payson LDS Temple. It is the most amazing temple. The ceremony was beautiful and I could not stop crying. My heart was FULL. My mind was so mindful of knowing Seth was missing his dad there.

Seth cried many tears as the ceremony took place. I wept with him. The love he has for Elizabeth (Ellie) and for Heavenly Father is so evident. I FELT he was missing his dad. I KNEW Tyler was there. I had NO doubts. I felt it. I am so thankful that I know that the Plan of Salvation if REAL. I know it so personally. I know that death is not the end. I have had deep personal witnesses of this. I know without a doubt that Tyler was there for this special day and that Seth knew it too. 

Here are just a FEW photos... I can't wait to see the wedding photographer's photos. 


Zellie and Tenneson (can you believe she is 4.5 years old?)


The bridesmaids (Gentry was stuck in traffic) I loved the color Ellie choose.


Outside the temple.


I seriously loved holding Thatcher. My heart is tender because in truthfulness, I rarely see Kayla and Matt's kids since they live in CA.


Zach, Tenneson and Tyler. 
Tyler is the tallest of the boys. (Zach and Ty are pretty even though so not sure how tall he will be when he comes home from his mission)


Zellie and I. ADORABLE little girl....


Okay it was CRAZY WINDY that day... CRAZY and the twins were not feeling too great...


This guy. OH how I love him. I have many TENDER thoughts on this to share later. I love that he is the biggest advocator of FAMILY and our kids. I have dealt with a death and he has dealt with a divorce. Our journey is quite different in that regard. 




At the reception.... I adore this couple.


I am seriously so thankful to be Seth's "other" mom. I call myself the BONUS MOM.


Silly times... yes, that is us. Devan is photobombing McKay and Mauro




Little Ty and Seth. I guess Ty is not so little anymore. How can he graduate this year? I'm not ready.




One of the gifts I made for Seth and Ellie. I used my papers and transparencies (gold dots, collectors edition and gold tape (gold glam) to create these. In the book, you write love letters back and forth. I was given this book (& idea) at my wedding  from my SIL Laurie and Kevin. I loved it.
The pencil I gave them with the WRITE book says "WRITE FROM THE HEART."
I hope they will write love letters to each other forever!!!!


handsome MAXSON




Cooper and Grandpa.
Yes, this is what Brian is wanting and THANKFUL to be called.
The kids call Tyler (PAPA and always will!!!!!!)




This was the temple that they were sealed for All Time & Eternity. In our church, we believe that marriages are not "until" death but can be FOREVER. I  did not grow up as a Latter Day Saint (Mormon) and I joined the church my senior year of high school. My personal believe is that death is only temporary and that we will be resurrected and with our families again. I get emotional as I type this. I have complete faith in knowing that God is real. 



Yes, I want to be with my family and I want to be worthy of this blessing. I love my grand babies. 

Cooper and Beckett did not plan to match outfits at the wedding. SUPER CUTE!!!!!


BE PREPARED.... sharing from my emotional heart now....


I just uploaded this photo and I have tears streaming down my face. 
This is Amy and little Ty. I had NO IDEA that one day this would be "the story." My husband would die of a horrible nasty cancer... I would be widowed in my forties... I would be HERE right now...

Amy is Seth's mom, Ty's ex wife and my friend. I greatly admire her heart, her kindness and for her "sharing" Seth with me for the past 20 years. I met him at age 2 when Tyler and I got married. My heart is so thankful that I was able to watch him grow up, and along with Tyler we raised together SEVEN amazing children. I loved every single one of them. 

STEP MOM... BONUS MOM... here is my journey....

I think the key is that BOTH of us did not fight or try to make Seth choose WHO he would love.  I never once felt Amy tried to make her son feel like he was not loved, wanted or put in the middle of their divorce. It was let's ALL just LOVE him!!!! I sat in the temple and watched Seth and Ellie get married and I was so thankful that I will ALWAYS be in Seth's and Amy's family life. 

I was married to my three girls dad at the young age of 19 years old. After seven years of marriage, we divorced and we both remarried. I will say that I wanted the girls step mother to LOVE my girls. I never wanted them to have "feelings" toward her. I wanted them to have so much LOVE in their life from their dad and I, Tyler (bonus dad) and their new BONUS mom.  

I was blessed to have years of our crazy blended families that just WORKED. I never ever would or did talk bad to any of my kids about their parent. I look back now and see what a healthy and blessing this was to our kids. Don't get me wrong, it was not perfect- divorce never is... but all decisions were done with the kids best interest and love. 

I have DEBATED for over a year about what I am about to share. I guess you could say I have ALOT of fear to share something so deep and personal to me. However, I feel I meet so many thousands of people and I get asked over and over the same question. Once you post something it's out there and many of you may have read that "someone" posted. Of course, I know exactly who this person. I try to be honest because I think by sharing our "journey" we can help others.

 

I had MANY people read my blog and see some NASTY untruths about Brian and I  that "someone" had decided to post. It was also posted on some "other" blog about me. I was heartbroken for my children and outraged. I have kept silent publicly  but I know for a fact that the TRUTH deserves to be TOLD and by me. I am sad that anyone feels the need to LIE to people about WHEN and HOW I met Brian.  The situation was portrayed to be an affair and I will not tolerate this untruth. 

I loved Tyler with all my heart. I will ALWAYS love him. He did not deserve his memory to be one in which  "someone" wanted others to believe that I had met or dated Brian prior to him dying. 

In fact, the "lie" was HORRIBLE, VICIOUS and UNTRUE. While my sweet handsome husband was enduring his final days on this earth, I was by his side. I slept on the couch in the Huntsman Cancer Institute. I did not want to leave his side for a moment. I would crawl in the bed with him at times and hold him. I cried with him. I grieved with him and his passing.  I witnessed as he was talking to angels and I knew the veil was thin. I ache as I remember this time. My world was so very sad. I was heart broken and I was devastated.  You can never prepare for something like this. I loved Tyler and he loved me. 

"Someone" has decided to keep telling lies that I had met, dated and went to "lunch" with Brian while my husband was in the hospital dying of cancer. As you can imagine, my kids and I are completely SICK that "someone" wants to say these things to hurt someone. Tyler died November 15th. It was the saddest day I have ever experienced and my kids and I were completely heartbroken.You simply do not ever get over this.


I met Brian for the first time in January and told him that I was looking for "friendship." I had no idea he was meant to be on my "new journey" with me and my family. I had never met or known him nor did Tyler. He was not working with Tyler on anything and this is the truth. This man came into my life at the time and in a place that I believe he needed me as much as I needed him.  It was crazy unreal. I knew it took a very special man to want to deal with the "REAL" life of being with a widow and children who had lost their dad. I give Brian so much credit. 

I have learned that EACH of us have our own journey, our own timing and we have to just LISTEN to our heart and the spirit to guide us.  The reality is, my children and I are still healing and we talk and celebrate LIFE in a different way now. We were in the temple together as a family on Friday and we laughed and talked about good memories of Tyler. Brian was with us and holding my hand as we do this.  It would have been my hope that Brian would have come from a similar background of peace in his past and previous marriage. Unfortunately, this is not the case and it's been one of the hardest experiences for him and our marriage. I am trying to be very delicate here.  Again, a great reminder to BUILD and not BREAK. 

 We are GROWING our family. This was just a SILLY photo from yesterday. 

missy, parker, brian, mckay and mauro

RANDOM, UNPLANNED, REAL and I wish everyone was in the photo that was at the house. We just have FUN!


Zach is doing AMAZING and loves Brazil so much!!!!! I sure miss this boy.


Life is too SHORT to be anything but HAPPY. 
TRUST your own JOURNEY.
Don't let anyone try to tell you that your journey is wrong if you know in your heart that it's YOUR path.
Stand up for what is right and do the RIGHT thing.



post signature

31 comments:

marci said...

I am so sorry that someone has been so unkind to you and your family. As you stated very well, all you can do is take the high road and do the right thing, regardless of what has been done to you. We also have a blended family and it was challenging at times because one of the former spouses was very unkind and also said untrue things. However, down the road the kids figured out what was going on and our relationships are very strong and loving. People who don't know me don't realize two of my children are not my biological kids as I always refer to them as my son and daughter, for that's what they are to me.

Thank you for sharing such a difficult topic. I hope the Lord brings you peace, and that things improve form here on.

Carla Wilson said...

Teresa - I am so sorry that you and your family has been hurt by the lies spoken by someone who doesn't know any better. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and speak the truth when someone is being so ugly. Please take some comfort in the knowledge that your family and friends know who you are and know the truth about your life. Those that look on with bitterness and jealousy will just have that in life. And they will ultimately be held accountable for the lies they have shared. You are a wonderful person and it is easy to see the blessing Brian has been to you and your family. I am so happy for you all. Carla Wilson

Kathy said...

❤❤❤ Love you girl and your awesome family!

Taresa Reynolds said...

I'm so sorry someone posted things that were untrue. So not cool. I wish you every happiness ❤️xoxo

teresa collins said...

Thank you everyone. I am a better person from every experience. I grow stronger. THANK YOU for taking the time to comment. Teresa

Michelle Clark said...

Teresa, I read those comments a long time on another blog (I can't even remember what it was, but I remember at the time thinking they were very nasty towards you.) I can imagine how hurtful that must have been. But just remember, they are the ones who have problems, not you. It was disappointing to read because there should not be petty drama in scrapbooking. It's supposed to be a fun hobby to get away from the drama of life, not cause more drama! I read your blog before your husbands illness, during, and after. It's obvious you love him and were there for him. Just look forward and don't let those horrible people hurt you any longer. And keep designing scrapbook supplies! I love everything you do!

Anonymous said...

You are a sweet caring lady, so sorry people had to tell lies. Love always..
Julie C

Mr. Nibbles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nanci said...

It takes courage, strength, and bravery to come forth and put your heart on social media. I wish all people would keep their comments to themselves, or better yet, have the good sense not to have them at all. I wish you great happiness in your new journey with Brian...

Catherine James said...

Teresa, I too am sorry that someone could be so cruel to you! Especially after all you've been through. This person is obviously sad and jealous of your blessings! As you said each of us has a different journey to follow. I just pray for people like that to find peace and follow their own path and stop worrying about yours. People come into our lives and out of our lives.. often when it is out of our control. So don't worry about "haters" they will always be there unfortunately. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I can tell via the way you write about your family, your friends and just with your sweet smile. I too hold family and friends most important so I know how you feel! Thank you for sharing your photos, thoughts and feelings. Be happy and keep creating! You are a gift and you have gifts to share! God bless you always! �� Hugs ��Catherine James, Cypress, Ca

Kelly Jean said...

Teresa, my friend Heather and I met you at a workshop you taught in 2014. At that time, I believe Tyler was at early stages of his cancer. I will never forget how lovingly you talked about him, so much that you cried in front of everyone in the entire workshop, and just oozed love for him! People are mean and it is so easy to judge when you have no knowledge of the real story or are on the "outside" of things. I am so happy you continue to write and tell your story. Even though you didn't have to explain yourself to us, you chose to do so anyways. I am so happy that you were given a second chance on love, a love that will never be the same as Tyler's but something new and different. Thank you for continuing to be so inspiring. There are lots and lots who appreciate you so much!

Kelly Jean said...

Teresa, my friend Heather and I met you at a workshop you taught in 2014. At that time, I believe Tyler was at early stages of his cancer. I will never forget how lovingly you talked about him, so much that you cried in front of everyone in the entire workshop, and just oozed love for him! People are mean and it is so easy to judge when you have no knowledge of the real story or are on the "outside" of things. I am so happy you continue to write and tell your story. Even though you didn't have to explain yourself to us, you chose to do so anyways. I am so happy that you were given a second chance on love, a love that will never be the same as Tyler's but something new and different. Thank you for continuing to be so inspiring. There are lots and lots who appreciate you so much!

Michelle S Clarke said...

You are amazing and an inspiration and your story can only be told by you no one else. I believe when people talk about you it reflects more about their inner self than it does about the person they are talking about

Braveartgirl said...

People can be so cruel. I am very sorry this happened to you sweet lady!! I have read your blog before Ty's cancer...during....after and when you met Brian. I just see it as a great GIFT from Heavenly Father!! Your family is amazing!! And meeting you and Brian at your even in Henderson was wonderful GREAT couple!! And your sweet mom in law, too!!! Lots of love to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lauralee Chambers said...

IGNORE THEM. Don't write about them. You don't owe anyone anything. God knows your heart. You just keep living in peace, joy and love. They are jealous and will try to tear you down. Pay no attention to the devil. I love your family. You know what matters!

Juel said...

I wish I could take away the pain both you and I have had from people. If I did though we wouldn't be who we are, right? The truth ALWAYS comes out in one form or another and by not hiding, the untruth can't rule over us. Sometimes all I can hold to is someday, the people that bring hurt against us will have to answer for what they have done. You are loved! Your 'Bear' friend :)

Anonymous said...

Just a side note to " Anonymous " as she likes to go by. Well let me just put it out there ¥%^€# I am NOT nice like Teresa and I will not take the high road.... so I am putting you on NOTICE and if you Do NOT stop making up lies an problems for this family that I will pay you a visit. Best believe I know where you live and will break your friggen Face or Hands which ever stops the spouting of Satan Filth that comes from your jealousy!
TC Dye

gela said...

So admire your strength. You know your truth. Who cares what 'others' say. Your family and friends know you. I cried many times as I read your journey with Ty and was heart broken when he died. Your character came though those painful post. I for one was ecstatic you found Brian. You found someone to fill that whole Ty left behind. Many blessing and congratulations to your family.

debbyj said...

I cried as I read your blog. People are so cruel and I know from experience that they do it because they themselves are hurting and need to lash out and hurt someone else thinking it will make them feel better. And it doesn't have to be strangers who hurt and tell lies about you. In my case, it is my husband's oldest daughter, who I have come to accept needs help for problems that she feels only she has and blames everyone else for. People will be jealous of you because you are happy and have found someone to help you through a very hard time. All the more power to you. You have a wonderful family, you are very lucky and I hope you have many more blessings to come.

Pam Makis said...

Tears filled my eyes as I read the above post, people are so hurtful and mean. One should not talk about something they know nothing about. Anyone that has followed you and listened to the journey you are on will know the real truth. I for one admire your strength and courage as you moved forward following Ty's death, it was not easy for you or your kids, especially the boys. God is the only one that knows your life path and you follow his lead. I don't know who 'someone' is but I hope I don't follow them or come across them as my words will not be as kind as yours. Blessings to you and your family, they are beautiful, smart and fill the world with Love. I so enjoy seeing and hearing about your adventures with the Grandkids. Enjoy them, they grow so fast. Hugs.

Philippa said...

Hi Teresa honey.. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU for writing this blog post. I cannot understand what could possess someone to write such horrible untruths about you! Such vindictiveness can only come from total jealousy and they obviously are incredibly unhappy souls. You DEFINITELY needed to blog about this and I'm so happy you have. I hope your soul is more settled now because of it.

I love you to pieces for your honesty, your utter beauty inside and out, the total unconditional love you have for your family and just for being the amazing person you are.

Huge hugs and oodles of love and smiles, Philippa xxxxxxx

Donna said...

Hi Teresa, beautiful tribute to your family. Congratulation on the wedding of Seth and Ellie!
I am sorry that others are so unhappy with their lives that they try to make others unhappy.
Teresa, continue to follow your heart and everything else will fall in line. Your faith in God and your family is what life is all about. You inspire so many with your honesty and your courage. Keep doing what you do daily and remember that we take one step at a time as we follow and lead in life.
Love and hugs, Donna
(one of the wife in laws)

Lisa said...

Teresa, you seem like such a sweet person. People are just so very hateful, mean and nasty. Don't give them credit by talking about them or defending yourself. It's none of their business. :) God Bless.

Katie said...

Theresa,
I just happened across this post today. In all honesty, I don't follow your blog, and I didn't know who you were until a friend mentioned you to me yesterday. This post touched my heart so much. I lost my husband 12 years ago to suicide. I was a young mother of only 27 with two little boys ages 8 and 3. I met my current husband only two short months after his death, and we married 7 months later. I have endured these same types of rumors. There were many whispers and rumors about what was going on with the implication that we had been seeing each other before my husbands death. So, in addition to my deep and painful grief, I had to deal with this as well. My husband and I have now been married 11 years (longer than my first marriage!) and I am convinced he was placed in my life at that time because I absolutely needed his companionship. He was so amazing and let me cry and grieve my first husband while loving me and my children. That's what people never saw. It was a beautiful and tough experience, but I love how the Savior helped me grow in faith and love through that experience. We also have a blended family. He had two boys from his previous marriage (which ended in divorce), I had two from mine, and we have had two boys together. I wish I could say the relationship with his ex is good, but it's been a huge struggle. We've all made mistakes, and hold bitterness in our hearts. I hope someday we will be able to see eye to eye on some things and be able to just be there in love for our kids. Thank you for sharing your story! I really needed to read that today. Have a blessed Sunday!
Hugs,
Katie

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