Saturday, November 4, 2017


I am headed to speak this morning at Pinner's Conference. I am thrilled to speak to the 200 people who got into my presentation. I am so passionate about spreading SELF LOVE. I am also announcing the newest passion event today that I am hosting for WOMEN. I promise to come back on my blog and share the details after I announce it but I wanted to share some things that I have been thinking about lately. 

The true BEAUTY of a WOMAN does not come from looking at oneself in the mirror. I have been thinking a lot about REAL BEAUTY and what makes each of beautiful. I don't believe that anyone is ugly. I do think that society wants to make us feel like we need to be perfect. I talk to thousands of women each year at events or during my speaking engagements. I have noticed some HARSH realities. TOO many of us don't feel like we are good enough, pretty enough, cool enough, and that we are beautiful. 

 listentng to my own voice. loving myself TODAY just the way that I am.
How many of you have told me that you don't want your photo taken? You don't like the way you look? You feel excluded, left out or not "in" the popular crowd- you can't compete with social media. YOU feel like every single ONE of us at some time or another. 

I have battled my whole life to love myself. I still am actually a shy person. It's so easy to compare yourself with "her."  I have had to put myself "out" there my whole life. I had at times ALLOWED myself to feel "less than" by other women. I don't do it anymore because I choose to look for "my" real beauty. 
I started looking deep inside myself to see what makes up my heart because it is the heart that determines a woman's true beauty. 

How many of you HIDE from showing the REAL you? 
Are you SCARED like me at times and in photos stand behind things to COVER up your body? Maybe you put a purse in front of your body to hide more. 
I am as guilty as anyone else. 
Do you shy away from being in a photo?
I was at ROSS last year and hide behind my new TC Magnetic Canvas Art boards. I do it...
maybe we all do it at times. I had gained some weight and I was the heaviest I had ever been. I caught myself "hiding" in photos.

I hope the real beauty of being me is seen from my eyes, because that is the doorway to my soul & heart. This is where love resides within me. This photo is after Tyler passed away at his grave. I believe that LOVE for you and for others brings out the beauty in a woman. It really does not have everything to do with society's view that is all based on being physically beautiful. If we compare with the social media "girl" we will never feel or know our own beauty.

I promise you that you do not need a perfect figure to be beautiful. I am grateful I have to watch my weight and that I am not naturally thin. I have to work hard and watch what I eat. It has often humbled me in many ways. 

I often find people will tell me that my smile is real and can be felt from the depths of my heart. I love to smile and say hello to strangers.  I smile because I was so picked on in elementary and jr. high school. I was a cheerleader but never felt like I fit in and that it must have been a mistake I was made the squad. 

I never want anyone to feel "less than" because of me or my actions. I know a sincere smile can make others feel completely loved and accepted. I steer away from MEAN GIRLS. I would rather be alone than surround myself with mean people.
I think that REAL BEAUTY comes from really caring about others. I recently spoke to a group of women at the Enlightened Retreat and I told them-

"I am still the same little girl from NC. I am no better than anyone else regardless of any amount of success that I have had in this life. I tell myself all the time- Get over yourself! You have worked hard, you are blessed- but you are here to love and help others. Comparison is the thief of JOY. I want others to know that I am sincere in my kindness and desire to make friends."
I have tried to focus on my joy in life and encourage others find their own passion and job. It has made me so happy, that I want to sparkle and radiate a LIGHT of love and positive energy to others. KINDNESS matters.  I want others to feel their own beauty and be a KINDER person in a world of 

I was heavier in this photo from early Spring. I was presenting home decor at the HOME + GARDEN SHOW and I was at heavier  than I normally am- but I still LOVE me... THEN and NOW. 
mean girls and societal judgments.

REAL BEAUTY is not fake or two faced
or when you "have" to be nice.
My mother raised me so "southern." Thank you mama. (oh how I miss her!)  I am no better than anyone else and I can BUILD instead of BREAK.

I look back on my early childhood that was brutal from my father and from the children at school. I was so young and it devastated me.
I was made fun of because my mother smoked and they called me horrible names.
I remember being told that I "stank."
I was excluded and felt I was not worthy to have friends. We moved a lot when I was younger and I just "NEVER" felt like I belonged. I was struggling with the shame of my home life and abuse from my father. 
It didn't help that my mother decided to cut my long pretty blond hair to SHORT like a boy in 5th grade. Ha!

So at a young age, I decided to focus on my REAL BEAUTY. This is what I hope you will find in me if you meet me, or know me. 
I hope you will share this with your own self, your daughter, granddaughter... 
I know that SOCIAL MEDIA and feeling "like you don't fit in" can deeply scar and hurt us from finding our own real beauty.  
Again, COMPARISON is the thief of JOY.

These are the things that I CHOOSE-

I choose to speak words of kindness- this makes my lips and mouth beautiful. 

I choose to look for the good in others- this makes my eyes beautiful. 

I choose to know that I am a daughter of God and that I will never WALK alone. I can use my legs to go to those in need and help them.

I choose to LOVE myself and others. I won't allow anyone to make me feel less than. I go to so many shows and events and I see first hand how people are excluded, the cliques, and the "popular" crowd.
True story= I had someone say to me last month at another speaking engagement. "You look so great! You have lost a lot of weight. I saw a photo of you at the trade show in January and you had gotten really big." I know that this person did not intend to hurt my feelings. It was her observation. I actually did not let it hurt me in any way. I loved myself then and I love myself now

We can choose to be offended or we can "let it go."

 I will not base my worth on my weight or on what others may say about my
physical appearance. YOU should not either. REAL BEAUTY is within your heart!

Don't be afraid to leave your friend group and reach out with your HANDS to lift someone else.

Be more observant and make a difference.
REAL beauty is within you...your soul, your heart and your intentions. I felt so strongly that I needed to SHARE this message. I know it will be hard for me to push publish. WHY? 

I don't profess to be perfect or any better than anyone else. I just want to make a difference. I want to remind others to speak kindlessly to and about others and about YOURSELF.

 Remember to BUILD and not BREAK others. 

I hope to
"SEE" others and be more aware of their struggles and insecurities and help build myself and others.

Let's make a difference. It begins from within.

I have never felt more BEAUTIFUL in my entire life. It took me into my forties to STOP listening VOICES of unkind and judgment. 

I hope I see many of you at Pinner's Conference today. I am thrilled to announce some news and following my passion. 


Michelle S Clarke said...

You are truly beautiful - thank you for sharing this

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Dondi Murdock said...

I used to stink too from being raised in a home with two chain smokers. I was driven to weekly Primary back in the day with a woman in our ward with a daughter my age. The daughter and her friend scooted as far away from me in the backseat as they could (no seat belts long ago). I know that mother had to see what was happening in the rear view mirror. I hated being in that car. I didn't know why those girls hated me so. Now I understand but I still wonder if they realize how close they came to sending me away from the LDS Church. It was a horrible message they were giving me when I was so vulnerable. Their mother wasn't teaching them well. I feel sorry for those girls and that mother that they had a great opportunity to be compassionate and to act with love but didn't.

Our next stop in the Air Force was to a small town in New Mexico where I was loved for myself regardless of the tobacco smell. I still didn't realize I stunk. It wasn't until high school I became aware of this horrible smell. I forever thank these good people in New Mexico for their kindness, compassion and love. How I long to greet them again in the next life to thank them for saving me from the life of alcoholism, smoking, and other societal ills that my only sibling lived. That could have been me, also, if not for those great, sweet people. They simply loved me rather than smelling me. It has changed not only me, but my children and my grandchildren. That is an additional 18 people so far plus my husband and other people whose lives have been influenced by us.

The power of love is stronger than any other power in the world.